Brand New Ground

Have you ever noticed that when the things we desire most don't happen, we tend to get teary eyed, down in the dumps and just down right depressed?  We snap at the people we love, we act like the world is coming to an end....but really?  It's not.  We just feel that way.  Feelings are the devil's favorite way to make us feel like we are less than we are, and that we are doomed to constant failure whenever we suffer a defeat of some sort.

We are all God's children and no matter what we think of ourselves, we were created in HIS image, not the image everyone around us thinks we should be and especially not the one we think we should be ourselves!  "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." (Genesis 1:27).  Knowing this, I don't understand how I ever could've looked in the mirror and then constantly felt inferior or not up to the task, or just not as good as anyone else unless I achieved something really spectacular or important.  Feeling ugly is a symptom of the world and it's constant demands to look a certain way or you don't fit in.

It's like sometimes we feel like we are less than God created us to be!  Believe me, He knows what He's doing and you are a unique example of His love for us all!

I think we all know what I'm talking about when I say that the things we want to happen the most don't always go the way we expect.  Like the promotion at work, or the job we were so sure we were going to get or those extra pounds that we just thought for sure would fall off with the new diet we are on.  And what about that college scholarship we were sure we'd get but didn't?  The engagement gone wrong?  The marriage that failed?  Sometimes it's the things we thought would never happen that brings us to the brink, causing us to fall upon our knees to ask, "What now God?"

The parents who raised us are suddenly divorced.  The precious gift from God, the child suddenly stricken with a terrible disease that turns your lives inside out, upside down, and hurts your other children who just don't understand, making them feel left out and depressed, marking them for life as we sit and wonder, "Why us God?  What did we do?" 

Maybe it's the friend we've known for years who just changes so rapidly before our very eyes that we don't even recognize them anymore.  And then the friendship ends one way or another because of a breakdown in commitment to one another as friends or even worse, a lack of the communication that we care, and that God cares about them, and how we don't like what we see, but that there is hope in Jesus.  So afraid we will lose them as a friend we then lose them anyway because of our own cowardice to confront them about the way they are living and how they are destroying their life.

And then there's my tragedy. The one person I never thought would leave me did.  Several adulturus affairs that tore our entire family apart.  My mind constantly searching for a way out, but he won't file for divorce, and I am lost without work, no money and a mentality that refuses welfare or government assistance, so I wait patiently on God.  I have no other choice but to be faithful to Christ, for my reward will be there for standing on His promises and not upon the worlds.

Then there is the worst possible tragedy a family or friend can face. The death of your spouse/child/best friend.  Believe me, that one will take you down as far as you can go before God picks up the pieces and gives you the grace, strength and courage to face just one more day and to eventually move on with your life.  

This type of tragic event leaves you feeling beaten, bruised and totally helpless because there is nothing you can do to bring them back.  They are just no longer there, leaving a gaping hole in your life where they used to be. Whether it be a spouse a child or a best friend, it doesn't matter. It leaves you feeling helpless on so many different levels, your whole life is just a wasteland until you have the fortitude to, with the help of God, put it back together again.

What I don't understand is how someone could rush in and tell a person in this position to "just get over it and move on."  That's just cruel and heartless.  This is the type of loss that stays with you forever. It is something you simply never get over.  Some people are lucky enough to have friends who never leave them, who take care of them after such a horrible trauma.

And yes, there are others like me who while going through much less, go through it in our stoic voiceless screams alone with only Jesus at our side. I know I am just one of many such people, who feel there is no way out but God and the mercy He provides to us daily to stand up under it.  There are so many of us who have lost a spouse through death or betrayal that it boggles the mind when I look at the statistics.

Sometimes the pain will last for years, sometimes till the day we die, but yet we still, somehow are forced to move on.  Some are blessed with another child, but it doesn't make the pain any less nor does it replace the child they've lost.  Sometimes a spouse abandoned by suicide, adultery or just a husband or wife who's spouse just packed up and ran away will find someone new in God's timing and fall in love again, but it's all in His hands, not ours.

So my conclusion in this little exercise is that I got heated and upset over something that really has no relative meaning compared to what others around me are going through.

There are those of us who take a little time getting there, but when we do, we ask and receive God's forgiveness and then are ready to help someone else in need or are just simply humbled by the pain and the strength of others who are going through the unthinkable. 

Sometimes, I just cry it out with God and then pick myself up, dust myself off and trudge through another day, hopeful that I will find solace and an escape from my sad and very lonely situation.  I am so grateful for Jesus because otherwise, I sincerely don't know what I would do!

The level of pain we feel from the hurt is usually the way we are able to tell how long the hurt will last and in some cases, like the loss of a loved one, it never fully goes away.  It can be the type of pain that lasts until we go to be with the Lord and the loved one lost to us on this earth.  The pain we feel here, exists between us and God and can only be dealt with by a respect for who He is, what He did for us on the cross and  a reverential fear that He has perfect control over our lives.  His will is unquestionable to one who has such faith, and there is no answer except to trust Him fully for the fate that has befallen us.

It takes a lot of tears and a lot of time, and for someone who has never been there to say "get over it already," is just cruel and it makes me pray for them because to me?  It leaves me questioning their true standing with the Lord.

I was ready to move on from my disappointment this evening rather quickly as soon as I thought of my dear friend who had this insult hurled at him.  He is going through something much worse than myself or a lot of other people for that matter.  Our days are numbered on this earth, and only God knows how many days, weeks or years we have left.  It just isn't fair to tell someone else how to grieve even if you've walked through that valley yourself, because we each react to loss differently.

Watching my friend talk about this person telling them to "get over it," made me wonder how I would behave.  I would probably scream, throw things.. but how long would it take me to once again get back to the frame of mind where I would Praise God for what He had given me and what He had taken away?  While my humanity would want to break everything in sight and make someone pay, my Godly side would want something different. For "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised." (Job 1:21)

It would take me awhile to get there, but in my grief I know I would remember God and all the good things He has given me.  And even though a precious one is gone, I would still give Him praise and be forgiving of the one who hurt me.

 So the next time you suffer a set back like I did, try to remember that there is always someone else out there who has it worse than you!  Then?  Go dance in the rain.  When the rain comes down, it brings a new ground upon which to start re-building your life, even if it's just a bad day!  And with God's help?  Well, who can stop us?