The Last Little Bird In The Nest

Our youngest daughter, who just turned 26, is about to fly the coup!

She was planning on moving to another area we're not familiar with and I thought when she bought her new car last week, that it meant she wouldn't be moving out right away. Her Dad felt the same way, so imagine our shock when she announced to us that she and her best friend's sister are actually still going to move to the Natomas area of Sacramento into a 2 bedroom apartment in a complex that hasn't finished construction yet. 

Her friend will be working in Rocklin and Beth commutes to Woodland. She's has a very stable job situation so things are speeding up on me with regards to all of this. Like I said. This was totally unexpected!

I'm grateful that all of my kids have graduated from "home" so successfully. I have my oldest son, who just bought a house 2 years ago, my oldest daughter is making buku bucks at Dolby in San Francisco, where she only has to go in one day a week and telecommutes from home the other four. Then there's my youngest son, who enjoys entering his car into car shows and working as a cashier at Trader Joe's, and is content as can be. He takes after me that way. Beth is more adventurous. She's done 3 police ride alongs now. I wonder if she'll join the academy at times?? I've always thought she'd make an excellent cop!

My husband and my children have been my whole life. Time just flies you know and now all of my children are gone, but I could still die a happy lady tomorrow. All four of my children are successful in life and they all seem to be pretty happy. Totally happy would just be a lie. They all have issues, but it's nice to have a pair of  "Mom Goggles" to look at them through and see only the good things about them. 

I'm starting to have flashbacks of the first Christmas we had in this house. We had moved in on December 15, 1993. We had opened all the presents, and all of a sudden we couldn't find Bethany anywhere! All of us were looking for her. She was 6 months old & still crawling at the time. When we found her, she was sound asleep under the Christmas tree, obscured by wrapping paper. She was adorable then, and now, and I don't know what I'm gonna do after she's moved out and moved on with her life.

When she does? This time, it's gonna hurt. She's my little baby girl. I love having her here. I never thought she'd actually leave, but her wings are full and she's had her test flights, etc., and I know she's ready. But I'm not. 

I'm not worried about her ability to take care of herself. She's a 911 operator, and has been for almost a year, so she has people she can count on who will be there for her if she finds herself in a situation she can't handle. She's cautious and very careful about who she gets close to. She's never even been on a date! She just doesn't trust men. She's way smarter on that front than I ever was, in fact she is wise beyond her years.

I hate that she's going to go, and I'll probably be crying off and on for DAYS when she does, but at least I know she'll have a safe home, a safe vehicle and a very safe working environment. She's a real grown up now. She and her siblings don't need me anymore. They'll call to check in, or I'll call them, but they're all doing just fine and a mom couldn't ask for anything better than that.

Thank you Lord for the children you allowed me to raise. They are all kind, beautiful, dedicated, individuals with special talents that bring goodness into the world. I couldn't be prouder if I tried. I really hope they feel and know that. Please watch over them Father as they continue to make their way into the world. 

For all of our graduates this year, I pray you'll behave honorably as you continue to grow and become adults. Life is what you make of it so don't squander even one minute of it. Have fun, but have safe fun. Be smart. Be cautious and above all else, love each other. Be there for each other and stay in touch with your best friends because you'll never find replacements for them. Trust me. I know.

God bless you all. Congrats to our grads, including my little girl who's graduating into a life on her own. We'll miss her, but she'll only be a phone call away, just like the other 3.

It's been an honor being your mom. I love you Bit. As you go forward in your life, please remember to just enjoy what God has provided and just "Live with Abandon!" 

When We Are Weak, He Is Strong!

I have A LOT going on lately. I've had a busy load and it's the first time since 2003 that I've had this much on my plate. A lot of it has to do with my health, and I'm dealing with it, but it requires a lot of work on my part, so I have to really lean on "the Everlasting Arms," in order to make it out the other side of the hell I've been going through for nearly 12 years. It's pain caused by spinal stenosis in the lumbar spine, the thoracic spine & in the cervical spine. It's been like going through hell, but I still consider it better than the "real thing?" I continually pray that God will pull me up the mountain of healing I must go through, but I feel weak and undeserving, so I tend to drag my feet. I know that's coming from the devil, but there it is.

I know one thing: I'm definitely on the right track and I think the Lord is giving me the strength to make it through everything I'm going through. Without my faith, all of it would no doubt completely cripple me emotionally as well as physically. I've been letting everything including the actions of others, especially in my family, who call me a hypochondriac when I've been dealing with crippling pain every day in my mid back for close to 12 years, destroy my faith in God's ability to help me.

I also worry that after surgery, I'd develop another post op infection that I wouldn't be able to come back from, and I'm terrified of leaving my family if something like that happens. I'm not strong enough for surgery but I'm working on it because, "I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength!" Philippians 4:13

"My grace is sufficient for you," 2 Corinthians 12:9, is one of my favorite verses right now. I literally heard God in my head saying, "I got you through the first 3 infections what makes you think I can't do it a 4th time?" I now trust that no matter what, I can count on the Lord to watch over me & take care of me. In my weakness, He is showing me my own strengths, which obviously come from Him. He is amazing & I can't wait for the rapture so I can meet Him face to face! 

Right now, I'm just grateful that I heard a sermon that caused me to feel that I needed to dedicate my life to Christ. That was one long aisle! I was a Sophomore in high school when I dedicated my life to Christ. I've re-dedicated my life to Christ several times since. Now, I do it every morning! 

I may be weak right now, but I'm not going to be weak forever. God is giving me a good kick in the pants to workout and get better, stronger, etc., and I'm going to give Him all the glory when I am successful and fully well again!   

If you are going through a period of weakness, call upon the Lord! He'll save you from yourself, for the Lord's strength IS truly perfect!

Time to Count Your Blessings!

Paul said we should be "content" with what we have and not worry about the rest. Wanting "things" and "stuff," isn't a happy investment of our time, so we should be grateful for what we do have and not complain about what we don't.

In my current situation, I'm totally blessed. I have a roof over my head and it's a new roof with 4 new tube skylights in it at that! We also replaced our entire HVAC heating and air system and had new dual pane windows installed as well, which really helped reduce our energy costs. We're still thinking about what color the house should be painted. 

My husband has 2 pensions coming in from the USAF and the Carpenters Union and he's still allowed to work 482 hours a year. That keeps him busy and the rest of the time he piddles around the house and he's really into the landscaping thing. He's really improved our lawns and our back yard. It's no longer just "mud!" He also has done some beautiful brick work around my rose bushes in the front yard, and a whole row of pavers next to the bushes that divide our driveway from the neighbor next door and he also rebuilt the mailbox post, built a new fence on the west side of the house and rebuilt both gates, ours and the neighbor's. 

You know that old saying, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it?" Well, I was told I was "broke" and needed "fixing!" I'm hoping that by working out, eating better, (I can't get enough FRUIT!), that I'll be on my way to being the old me, just a little lighter, leaner and maybe even ready to go back to work!

I could have stayed in my pity pot, letting the devil rob me of my life, but somebody flipped a light switch on somewhere and gave me the gift of playing the piano by ear back! I lost it 34 years ago. I thought it was gone forever, but someone turned the combination lock in my brain, and there it was. Good as new! I've done several covers of other artists songs, and I've written about 13 of my own and I'm getting ready to pay to have them recorded in a real recording studio! 

I have a roof over my head, plenty of food to eat, a nice car to drive, great books to read, a TV and computer, a new routine and I've become very content. There are other things I could want, but when I think of how little others have, and how much I have that they don't, I am humbled and at times even ashamed for not realizing how blessed I am sooner.

God has been very good to me and I am grateful! It's time to count your blessings folks. Jesus is coming soon to take us all home. There, we'll have everything we could ever want or need. It's going to be AWESOME! 

So become content. Jesus will hoist more blessings upon you when you do!

Are You Dead in Your Sin or Alive Through Christ?

If you're answer to the title of this post is "I'm not sure," I have good news! You can be alive with Jesus Christ by confessing your sins and making an effort to change who you've become. It's like getting a clean slate to re-write your life on! 

"For all have sinned & fallen short of the glory of God." Romans 3:23

For those who answered,"I am alive through Christ," good for you. Try to stay on the good side, but don't despair if you find it difficult to do so. God gives us unlimited "Mulligan's," or "do over's."

For those of us who believe, we can begin again every hour, minute, second, of every day. Lamentations 3:23 says, "For His mercies are new every morning. Blessed be the name of the Lord." God will listen to our prayers and will forgive us. 1 John 1:9 says "If we confess our sins, He is faithful to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness!"

If you're not a Christian, all you need to do is go to God, confess that you're a sinner and ask Him to forgive you of your sin, and make Jesus the Lord of your life. John 3:16 says, "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten son, so that whoever believeth in Him, shall not perish, but have everlasting life." 

So get right with God! Find a church and start attending. Start reading His word daily, and try to stay on the right side of His word. You don't have to do that "read the bible in a year" thing to stay in His good graces. Reading just one verse, every day and meditating on what it means and how it relates to your life, is actually better and it will help you grow immensely!

I start the day with a prayer to ask for forgiveness for my sins, to help me remember that Jesus is my only hope for having a good day! John 15:5 says, "I am the vine, you are the branches. If you remain in Me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from Me, you can do nothing." 

So the "Good News" is, if you don't know the Lord Jesus on a personal basis, you now know that He wants a relationship with you! The world is spinning out of control right now, which a lot of people don't realize. Prophecies have happened that Jesus told us of in Matthew 24 and Luke 21. Things in the Old Testament, prophesied by Isaiah are very close to happening and Ezekiel 38 is in full swing in the Middle East. Iran is building 10 bases in Syria as are the Russians. They are 18 miles from the Syria/Israeli border and have already launched missiles into Israel! 

The end is near folks! Don't miss the rapture of the Church of Jesus Christ out of pride or spite! Get right with the Lord before it's too late! He loves you and He died on a cross to prove it, so take Him up on His offer of salvation and do it today! The Gospel of Jesus Christ isn't just "Good News!" 

It's the Best News EVER!

Jesus loves you and so do I, so please? Come and join us in celebration of the "Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world!" (John 1:29).

In Awe and Wonder!

Our God is an AWESOME God! He wants you to be in the Family! I tend to pray a lot, like Paul said to. "Pray without ceasing." 1st Thessalonians 5:17, for the lost. It's a burden I feel every day. People are beginning to act in awful ways that we've never seen before, but the bible says that some will fall away from the faith and it sure looks like that's what's going on!

One of the prayers I prayed recently was for myself. I asked God on 2/24/19 if He could restore my gift to play the piano by ear and actually write music again. 

I have a beautiful piano that's just been sitting there collecting dust for 16 years, and giving me nothing but frustration. I couldn't seem to remember how to play! When I got started again, I wrote down the words "Book of Prayer," referring to the bible. When I was finished, it sounded like a 3rd grade praise/worship song. I hadn't written a song in 34+ years. I messed my life up with drugs, so I think that God took that gift away. After writing that tiny piece of work, I went to God and kinda complained? I heard in my brain, "Don't worry, they'll get better." Then I heard a 3 word title that really fit my hermit life. "In the Lonely." 

All of a sudden I was hearing chords in a song, and I ran out to the piano, banged it out and voila, my playing by ear was restored. This occurred in early March. 

Then I got another 3 word title. "In the Lonely," and then set it aside. One day, while watching TV, I started to hear music and lyrics in my head. I immediately stopped what I was doing, and as a vessel, allowed God to write a beautiful song about my pain and how much I need Him each and every day. Then came another 3 words, and so on, and so on, to the point I had to make a list! The list includes the name of the song, and what work needs to be completed on it. I had to write lyrics and then music for each title. 

Every time, it was like I was visited upon by angels or something. And I've now heard 16 titles in my head, completed lyrics and music for 10 of them and have 6 more left to write. I have a feeling that that list is going to get longer, so I need to get on the ball! 

In March, when all of this started, I wondered if my 7th and 8th grade choir teacher, Mrs. Anderson, who also directed me in the adult choir and the junior choir at our church after our music pastor left, had passed away. She also played the organ 2 times a month. She believed I was very talented and wanted me to put my music on a cassette because I couldn't write a note. I never did. Big mistake! 

She and I had been pen-palling throughout the last year until I didn't hear from her at Christmas. I called the church in mid March and discovered she had passed away on January 5th, 2019! Isn't that what we call "miraculous?" I actually have wondered how long she had to petition God to give me my gift back! Ha ha! My relatives including my Mother, God rest her soul, were behind her! I still can't get over this! It's flowing like milk and honey and they are all Christian songs! I never wrote Christian songs, in fact I had a hard time doing that till now! I wrote the most morose love songs because I felt so alone all the time. I was constantly harassed by other kids til 9th grade. I kept my head down and did the work, got really good grades, but our choir teacher in high school was abysmal. She left after my Sophomore year, and guess who came to run the choir after she left? That's right! It was Mrs. Barbara Anderson!  

It's amazing how people can have such a great affect on your life. I wish she was here so I could share this miracle with her, but I still think because she's in heaven, God not only restored my gift, he made it better! 

I'm waiting for the next three word title! I'm listening Lord! Let your GREATNESS flow through me! Let the MUSIC flow through me! Let me continue to be an empty vessel, ready to be refilled once poured out! I am ready for the next 3 word title!

"I stand in awe and wonder!" A gift once lost has now been found! Hallelujah!