Wait! Not So Fast!

I had a bit of an upset with my hubby last night. We're both sinners saved by grace, but we've really been struggling for awhile now to just get along? He's stubborn. So am I. I have an alpha ego and am very emotional. Never a good combination. He likes to mope and needs to get right with God. (No that is not a judgment. Don't say that, unless you understand what I'm going through)? 

I just went back to look at a post I wrote on June 25th. As I read it, I could hear God saying, "Do you see how you talk about walkin the walk, rather than talkin the talk?" Jesus said that we should die to self, but that is difficult to do, because as humans, we are born needy, desperate, hungry, and yes, very naked! But as adults, we can be just as naked, only spiritually! I spoke in the previous post about "what is done in secret will be made known?" Yup. I know. Just got here! (I'm sorry for my delay, Lord! Please forgive me)?

I know, it is kinda funny? But when you're a really impatient person, with very little self control, ton's of heart/emotion, etc., and you are in a great deal of pain for a long period of time, as I have been, the devil will try to use all those feelings, even all the pain, to try to control you and that was how I ended up getting so upset last night. I've got the yelling down pat! And yes, I did. I went there again last night. It bummed me out.

I told him I didn't mean it, but you know, once it leaves your mouth? There's an old saying that goes like this. "What is done is done." Once those words are out of your mouth, you cannot get them back. Not even if you stuff them in like tweety bird and try to swallow them again, which of course, is impossible to do. You're only recourse, is to ask the person for forgiveness, but lack of humility today, makes that very difficult. 

As for all the Christian couples who are struggling, you are not alone. I pray for my marriage, daily, and ask God to heal my husband's heart so he can forgive my past mistakes. I have forgiven him each time he hurts me, and I've forgiven the person he's hurting me with. I'm hoping that God can rescue our marriage and help us to remember the good times we've had, especially with our kids. He just seems perfectly content to step out on me, and doesn't seem to want to answer to God or anyone for that matter. I've asked for counseling and we've gone in the past, but it never worked out. I'm not sure that we'll ever work things out, but then, that is what 30 years can do to people who weren't in it for the right reasons in the beginning? Damage gets done! The only one who can fix this, is Jesus! 

So yes. I admit it! I AM A SINNER! I NEED JESUS, EVERY DAY! Seriously? He's like a "spiritual multi vitamin!" Without Him? I wouldn't have been able to stop, and see how I was letting the devil lead me around by the nose last night! That was not fun! But, even though I know how he operates, I still get stuck in the flesh, and just lose it. Sigh. I'm not violent, (I don't throw things, I couldn't hurt him, even if I wanted to because my hands are all crippled from the psoriatic arthritis), but boy, did my mother, God rest her soul, teach me how to yell! Be suspicious. Act grumpy, and think I was insane. 

No worries, I know I'm not insane. I've turned my life over, again and again and again to the Lord since I was baptized my Sophomore year of high school. Even at nearly 53, I have a very long way to go to get to where God needs me to be. I hope I will be a supernaturally completely healed woman, who can wield the sword of truth and slay the dragon where ever he is, or speak a command for him to come out of whoever he is controlling by telling him, "In the name of Jesus, I demand that you release this person in front of me! Get thee behind me satan!" Simple words like "Jesus" or "Get thee behind me satan," is enough to make the devil and his minions RUN for the hills! Why you ask? Because the bible says, "You believe that God is one. You do well. Even the demons believe, and tremble!" (James 2:19). 

I have a great deal of faith, it is my strongest spiritual gift, and I want to lead the lost to the Lord, helping them to be forgiven so they can be "transformed by the renewing of their minds," and start living for Him!

What happened to me last night? That's me without You Lord and I don't want to be that person anymore. I want to grow, gain more strength than I've ever had and stand strong for YOU! Help me to do that Lord? I'm so anxious to send out these messages of hope, because so many are without it? Thank you for never leaving me and for getting me back up on my feet within less than an hour. It used to take months, even years, to see the error of my ways and get right with You. Lately, it's taking me a lot less time, so thank You for that Jesus, I praise You, even in this storm!

Hope you all have a very blessed day! God bless each one of you as you spread the word that Jesus saves! He's coming very soon, I can feel it in my entire being. He is close! So it's time to get ready, get ready, get ready! The King of Kings and Lord of Lords is coming soon to remove His Bride, the Church, off of this popsicle stand! Yeah, when you think about it? This world, compared to heaven? 

It really is, nothing more than a popsicle stand compared to what God has in store for us! His blessings? They are NEVER ENDING! Think of that. Blessings, forever! It's because Jesus thinks of us, as "His beloved."