It was a beautiful sunny day in New York City 11 years ago today. The kind of day that made one grateful to be alive and living in The Big Apple. Then that grace and gratefulness felt by so many would end at 8:46 AM EST as the first plane hit World Trade Center Tower 1, where a friend I knew for years was in the "Windows on the World," restaurant waiting for her boss and a client for a meeting. They never found her.
Of course bedlam followed. Every firefighter and Cop in New York, the Port Authority Police, all were involved as 1st Reponder's to try to help the injured, and save who ever they could. Then another plane hit the 2nd tower. Suddenly the game changed from an out of control jet to a full on attack of our Nation. Evacuation orders, people going down the stairwells, firemen going up. And then the unthinkable. The South Tower collapsed. Something everyone in the US and around the world watched in horror. We also watched as people fell to their deaths from the North Tower choosing to jump rather than suffocate or burn to death. The sadness...is still with me. I can still see the radio tower as it disappeared into a cloud of smoke and flame as the North Tower collapsed. Tears are running down my face as I type this as the memories are still so fresh and harsh.
But how do you
celebrate a hero? How do you celebrate a hero when so many hero's gave
their lives on one day and then many others followed in two wars to take down
the tyranny and genocidal regimes responsible for trying to destroy your
Country? One thing we can do is try to remember the many miraculous stories that came out of the rescues that occurred while stretchers covered with American Flags were being carried by other Fire Fighters, hero's themselves in the aftermath.
There were many heroic stories. One was where several civilians and firefighters who had been buried in a stairwell, covered in debris, were found, and lived to tell the tale. Just one of many miracles to be told later. One man stopping for a band aid for a new pair of shoes was late for work. The shoe's hurt his feet. Another a dad dropping off his daughter for school, her first day of kindergarten, all of them late for some reason, watching as the first plane flew into Tower 1. Can you imagine? They are hero's simply for escaping, but I doubt that they would see it that way.
I can't say what it felt like, I wasn't there, but that day, here in California, I left my job at lunch and went to a local drug store in the town I worked in and found two American Flags that you can attach to your car windows. I was honked at all the way home. The Unity we all felt was an amazing testament to the Spirit of our Country.
There were other hero's that day. Another plane hit the Pentagon a little while after the 2nd plane hit the 2nd tower, and then another flight, Flight 93, full of hero's. Civilian Hero's who we will never forget. They saved many that day. The call of "Let's Roll," became our battle cry to get those who were responsible for the horrific attacks planned and carried out by 19 Saudi terrorists on the orders of Khalid Sheik Mohammed and Usama Bin Laden.
Many felt the calling to defend our Nation against those who took so many innocent people from us that day. Pat Tillman, the famous football player who died from friendly fire. Casey Sheehan, a medic that my two oldest kids actually went to school with. My own oldest son, who served 3 tours proudly and with honor and with God's grace, made it home safely all 3 times not to mention countless other hero's who gave the ultimate sacrifice.
This photo was supposedly drawn by a soldier on his way to go put down the Taliban in Afghanistan. I am not sure of the origin, or if that story is true, but today seemed like a good day to show it, because, well, this is just who we are. We are America. And nobody screws with America.
This is a tribute to those who gave their lives that day. To the Fire Fighters, the NYPD, the Port Authority Police Officers, Pentagon Officials and staff, Airline Pilots, their Flight Attendants, their passengers, and to the men and women who rushed the cockpit of flight 93, saving countless lives crashing into a field in Pennsylvania. Their heroism is unspeakable. They knew they were going to die, yet they did it anyway.
God Bless them all, God Save the United States of America and especially on this day Lord? Be with those who lost a friend, loved one, father, sister, mother, son, daughter, cousin,....they are the hero's now. We must follow in the grace of their footsteps. Their grief, their loss...their heroism in what came after.
Please continue to pray for our men and women in uniform in Afghanistan and serving around the world. Freedom isn't Free.
I have the gift of prophecy and there is nowhere for a prophet to hide, but nobody wants to listen to one either. People made fun of Noah till it started to rain didn't they? Well people can judge me all they want, call me crazy etc, but....
JESUS IS COMING BACK TO TAKE HIS BRIDE VERY SOON! GOD CALLED ME BACK FROM THE DEPTHS OF MY OWN HELL (READ THE POST BELOW), TO TELL ME WHAT HE NEEDED ME TO DO! GO AND PREACH THE GOSPEL OF CHRIST!
WE ALL NEED TO GET OUR MINDS ON CHRIST! WE NEED TO GET OUR EYES OFF OUR FAVORITE FOOTBALL TEAM, OUR CHURCH PROGRAMS, AND STOP MAKING THEM OUR ENTIRE LIFE! THEY CAN BECOME IDOLS AND PULL US FURTHER AWAY FROM GOD AND WHAT HE WANTS FOR OUR LIVES! WE SHOULD ALL BE ON OUR KNEES & GETTING OURSELVES TOGETHER, READING HIS WORD DAILY AND SPENDING OUR TIME WISELY, FOR WE WILL FACE JUDGMENT FOR HOW WE HAVE SPENT OUR TIME ON THIS EARTH, AND FOR EVERY CARELESS WORD WE SPEAK! (MATTHEW 12:3 6). THERE ARE PEOPLE CRYING OUT FOR GOD, DON'T YOU HEAR THEM? AND NOBODY IS ANSWERING THE CALL!
It's time to get our eyes off of ourselves and start looking around for those who are suffering, those who are hurting, sure the post below shows my pain, suffering, hurt, betrayal, etc., but it makes me no less a Christian now does it? This blog was written for many reasons. So people would know who I am, where I come from, the sins I have committed, which I am not afraid to admit because Christ already died for them and they were buried with him, and God has forgiven them, forgotten them and removed them from his sight as far as the east is from the west, (Psalm 103:12), and I am not ashamed to admit my sin if it SAVES JUST ONE PERSON! Believe me, I have one hell of a testimony! IF SOMEONE WILL JUST GIVE ME THE OPPORTUNITY TO SPEAK! "Whoever speaks, is to do so as one who is speaking the utterances of God." (1 Peter 4:11a).
Paul said, "This one thing I do, forgetting what lies behind and straining towards what is ahead." (Philippians 3:13). Think for a moment: What would Paul, formerly Saul of Tarsus, the most notorious Pharisee/killer/torturer of Christians see if he had ever looked over his shoulder? HE WOULD HAVE BEEN WORTHLESS TO GOD, JUST LIKE I HAVE BEEN FOR YEARS! Not looking behind is what I've been trying to do, and have been quite successful at it but people like my pastor think I need a "program" to recover from my past when Christ has done the work already! I may talk too much, but I think it's because I'm meant to be a motivational speaker or maybe get up and tell my story so that I CAN SAVE THOSE WHO ARE LOST! Again, 1 Peter 4:11 a spells it out very clearly. It's what I've been called to do. I now know for sure that that "program" was a detour. I WANT TO SAVE PEOPLE, GOD ALREADY SAVED ME AND I DON'T NEED NO CHIPS, 12 STEPS, OR ANY OF THAT TO ACCOMPLISH WHAT HE HAS CALLED ME TO ACCOMPLISH! He has already prepared me for the battle to come and I AM READY! BRING IT ON!
Time to die to self church. CRUCIFY YOUR FLESH, PICK UP YOUR CROSS AND FOLLOW THE ONE WHO SAVED US ALL! Be cleansed of your sin, erase what you've become, let go of the past and start again! Let go of what you've done. It's only holding you back. Let's get out there and do what we were called to do by Christ Himself!
IT'S CALLED "THE GREAT COMMISSION!"
Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. When they saw Him, they worshiped Him; but some doubted. Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. THEREFORE GO AND MAKE DISCIPLES OF ALL NATIONS, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Matthew 28:16-20)
THE CLOCK IS TICKING LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. NOW GET OUT THERE AND DO AS CHRIST COMMANDED YOU TO DO! WE ARE ALL SINNERS, BUT CONFESS IT, AND HE WILL FORGIVE IT! (1 John 1:9). Time to erase yourself. Live for Christ, become Christ. For you owe Him your very life. Forgive yourself and forget about it, just like God has forgotten what you've done to be remembered no more!
Let mercy come and wash away all the wrongs that we have done. Start again, even if you have doubts. Just get on your knees and pray for God to give you the strength you will need, You may lose some friends, and that will hurt, but just remember, what you say, will stick after the rapture. Then, perhaps you will still have a chance to see them in heaven if they refuse to take the mark of the beast. (Revelation 13:16-17)
I fear no man, no woman, no government, I know God is with me, as He is with us all! And "if God be for us, who can be against us? (Romans 8:31). But we also need to have a reverential fear of God. Mine? It make me joyful! Knowing I am walking in faith, with Him at my side, all the time, watching me, listening to me, it makes me want to do more to please Him! That reverential fear, is more like a reverential friendship of joy, caution, and everlasting peace! Do not think of it as "fear" because that is not what comes from it! "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding." (Proverbs 9:10).
I can sit here and write - that I am in full obedience to Christ. I have "surrendered all." All that I have. All that I am is His. I am His. He is mine. That will never change.
I married the wrong man. He was sick, in love with sex more than me. Even after 4 kids, he refuses to recognize me on Mother's day. He has never remembered my birthday, and I was just young, stupid and very insecure when I fell for an obviously screwed up guy who thought because he had a good job and provided for me, that in those acts, he was showing me that he loved me. I'm sorry I was so stupid God.
He was 30, and didn't want to get married, but married me anyway, because he felt I had "trapped" him into it. I didn't trap him, my pills which were the wrong hormonal strength and were new, didn't work and I got pregnant.
Growing up in the home I did, I was always the submissive one, trying to be good, not cause trouble, but still never felt approved of. Some days I still don't, but then God reminds me I am His, and that nobody can take that away, unless I let the devil control my thoughts and emotions.
This post is written out of frustration and utter despair at my current situation. I feel there is no way out. I have no family, no money, and I feel lost, except for Jesus, who is all I have. I've gone to plenty of churches, none of these pastors have the gonads to come and confront him for bringing a woman into my house 2x a week for sex! I just keep thinking that there has to be a better life than this out there somewhere and I trust God to do His will in my life, but it gets hard when all you live with is condemnation, out and out hatred and a "ha ha" attitude. I feel totally rejected. He's even got my own kids turned against me and everything that ever goes wrong, is my fault.
I have been separated from my ex for 10 years and was living on my own until I got death bed ill in April 2008. My doctor had put me on the wrong medication for fibromyalgia and it nearly killed me. My ex moved me back in promising reconciliation and got me to to give up the garnishments of alimony and child support and promised he would pay my bills. Then when I brought him one I needed paid, he laughed in my face as he said, "I'm not gonna pay any of your f***in bills!
So I gave it all up, just trying to keep the peace and to let him know I loved him and was serious about the reconciliation and then he refused to pay my bills as promised. On top of that, he refused to give me any money. I would have to BEG. I tried so hard to please him but nothing worked.
Then the real bomb hit. He admitted that he had been seeing a woman before he moved me back in, and even though he had promised to reconcile, which I thought we had, because we were intimate again, he told me he had never stopped seeing her or having sex with her. He had been cheating ever since he moved me back in, I don't know how many there were in between, but now I have to suffer in tears when his new girlfriend comes here a couple of times a week for sex. This is the house my kids were raised in, the home we had so many good memories in. He is hurting me beyond belief every time he does this, and yet he does it anyway. Killing off another piece of my heart every time. I am living in "Punishment World." And I have no way out.
Yeah, I married the wrong guy. I wish I hadn't. I could have had 4 great wonderful kids with somebody else, a man who put GOD first in everything, a man who would have prayed with me every day, a man who would have gone to church with me, a man who would've studied the bible with me, and prayed especially about the big decisions. A man I would have had no problem submitting to, who would have pulled me back and said, "No honey, let me show you how this works," when it came to finances.
When I got pregnant and he didn't want to marry me, my father offered to let me come home and stay with him until the baby was born, and he said he would have helped me. There are so many times that I wish I had done just that instead of marrying this sexually addicted jerk.
I have no love left for this heartless man who seems to enjoy the game of hurting me every chance he gets. We got bad news about our taxes this year? The reason we owed so much? He took his entire Air Force retirement to live on while waiting on his DD214 showing he was honorably discharged. They taxed it twice because he took the money before he was 59 1/2 yrs old. HE BLAMED IT ON ME! Can you believe that? I even talked to our tax lady and she asked about a $7,000 entry on one of my 1099's. It was from a law suit. The check was for $7500 and I only got $3000. Our federal tax burden was $8400. I saved him $4500 of that, and it's still all my fault.
Oh if only I had a Fairy God Mother.
If there is a prince charming out there who likes to fix things maybe I'm the girl for you. I have so much love to give and I think that is what is hurting me the most, is that I have nobody to give it to. I love in the same way that Jesus loved us. He gave His all. I will do the same. I'd step in front of a bullet for the right guy.
I need someone to save me God? Where is he? I pray for him every day because I know he is out there somewhere. Lord, I will be 50 on September 23rd. I want the 2nd half to be better than the 1st. Please bless me and grant me the ability to feel real love for the first time in my life? But above all Lord, may it be your will that is done and not mine.
There is a book out there that talks about Jesus being a woman's bridegroom. The only problem I have with it is this: It seems to be written for lonely women on every front. Those who haven't found a mate, those who were left by their spouse and those that are divorced.
In doctrine, Jesus is Bridegroom to us all. Not just the women. This book is written by women for women, and I'm sorry, but with the days so short, instead of playing emotional tag with the devil shouldn't we be girding our loins with the truth of God's word - I mean MEAT AND VEGGIES PEOPLE! The stuff that will keep you going in the midst of a battle! Not some girly book that might heal a woman's heart, but rather the big book, for adults, called "The Bible," written to heal all of our hurts? All of our hearts? There is no middle ground. You're either hot, or you are cold.
I just left a message for my Monday night class facilitator and told her, "I need more meat and veggies. I want to do Daniel or Ezekiel." We're just too close to the end! And what people do not recognize is that the devil, the father of lies, is using our EMOTIONS against us, just like he's using this book to get women to trade in what they know is true for some fairy tale about Jesus.
Yeah, you know the one. The one who took it upon Himself to DIE FOR US, the one who took it upon Himself to DESCEND INTO HELL AND SET THE CAPTIVES FREE WHILE TAKING THE KEYS FROM SATAN, the one who against every odd ever taken ROSE TRIUMPHANTLY FROM THE DEAD TO ASCEND TO THE RIGHT HAND OF THE THRONE AND THEN SEND US A COMFORTER, THE HOLY SPIRIT! (See Acts 2:1-13).
I don't know, maybe it is because I live in a living hell with my own ex husband, having to depend upon him for everything. I HATE THAT! I hate being sick, and I truly hate watching that man, who we bore 4 kids together, who I have loved for 27 years, parade a girlfriend into the home my kids grew up in for a little weekly "activity" once or twice a week. Gimme a break. Jesus is not a FAIRY TALE - HE IS REAL! I CAN FEEL HIM HERE WITH ME AT NIGHT WHEN THOSE TORMENTED FEELINGS ARISE! HE HOLDS ME, HE WHISPERS IN MY EAR - WHY DO I NEED A FREAKIN BOOK WHEN I HAVE THE REAL THING ALREADY?
Oh I've prayed, and I've prayed, but now? Now they are taking weekend excursions together. That's a little more serious than him just using her for sex. How do I deal with that? I turn to the KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS! FOR SOME DAY I SHALL BE VINDICATED!
I recently found out that if he wanted to, he could have me evicted. I only moved back in in 2008 due to my illness. The truth that came about? He got me to give up the garnishments of Alimony and Child support, which he got without much fuss, although it was under duress while he yelled and screamed at me. I let it go, me not wanting to fan the flame, if you know what I mean. He even promised to pay my bills and when I finally went to him with one I couldn't pay, he laughed in my face. He was making 6K a month at the time.
So how am I supposed to do this study where the title of Chapter 2 is "Some day my prince will come," when HE'S ALREADY HERE?
My Jesus was born of a virgin. He lived as a carpenter for 30 yrs and then began His ministry, at the end of which everyone who loved Him on Palm Sunday spat at Him as He climbed Golgotha's Hill and then watched as He was nailed to a tree to pay the ultimate price for all of us. He gave His life. How can I read about Him being anything but that? For "by his stripes we are healed!" (Isaiah 53:5). Let me tell ya something folks: At that moment in time? He looked like anything but a "Prince." He was my LORD AND MY GOD!
I've been hurt - I have an illness that isn't going away, and I just cannot see where this helps women to see Jesus in another light. As the guy who lights the candles on your birthday cake, or opens the door for you like a gentleman, all of that "current day" crap! I started to read and thought I had picked up the wrong book!
He is NOT the God we want. He is the God who IS! TIME TO DEAL WITH IT!
The days are short. We need the Bible and meat and yukky vegetables if we are going to endure to the end. Not some version of Sleeping Beauty mixed with Prince Jesus come to save the day. Yea, he will save the day alright, with us riding at His side, the Army of God, riding with Him on that day when those who go against Israel will cry out for mercy and receive NONE!
I don't know about you ladies, but I never liked "fairy tales," anyway. I like books of non fiction like THE BIBLE!
When I went looking for "prince charming," it was Grace that found me!
Thank you Jesus. It's your grace I need, it's your loving arms I need, it's your truth, your steadfastness.....your love. Thing is? It was there all the time. I am one of those strange people....being alone out here, when I go to sleep at night, I feel you holding me, and I'm sorry, cause I don't mean to upset anyone, but what I feel with you every day, is way better than any book.
You are all I've ever needed, from the day you faced Calvary's Cross to save me, until now, when you will be there throughout the tests that are to come. Thank you Jesus.
You ARE thankfully not the GOD I WANT, but rather You are the GOD WHO IS! AND YES, I CAN DEAL WITH THAT!
At 2 pm today a teen was found dead in a car in Stockton, California along 12th street. Whether male or female, the article didn't say. Then there was a drive by in Stockton on East Street at 10 pm tonight, followed by a drive by in the 1100 block of South Commerce, again, in Stockton, in which one male teen was instantly killed by a gunman's bullet and another male teen was taken to the hospital in critical but stable condition.
I've never had to live with this type of violence, but so many parents have had to that I wanted to make this a prayer for parents and families, especially the mother's tonight.
Dear Heavenly Father, I come to you now to lift up the mother's and their families who have lost their son and possibly a daughter today, as well as to another family who waits to see if their son will live or die.
Lord Jesus, help them to call upon you, for your mercy, your grace, your forgiveness, even when we are not in sin, you and I both know Lord, that they will blame themselves as we family members, especially us mom's have a tendency to do. Lord God, please just fill them with your peace? Give them what they need to get through this awful, most painful ordeal they are going through, and please lift up their neighbor's and friends to help them through this horrific time in life that no parent should ever have to go through. Please provide enough companionship for them that they do not have to go through this alone.
Lord, if this occurred because of gang activity of some sort, please Lord, find a voice other than that of the "usual type," to go in and help these young people make peace amongst themselves, and help each other forge a new peace in their neighborhoods, for this is certainly not what you intended for them! This is not what you want Lord. You want us to "love one another even as you have loved us." (John 15:12), not this mania!
Finally Lord, I lift up the Stockton California Police Department to you. Keep them safe, and give them an extra measure of blessing of safety since budget cuts have left fewer and fewer cops on the streets. For those who reach out to these families, bless them especially Father God, for they are the ones truly going above and beyond the call of duty, no matter how strained the relationship between the two groups. Help these men and women go in regular clothing, pay their respects and ask if there is anything they can do to help. It's when we ignore the great commission, that we become hard in heart, like a rock beating inside of us, just barely keeping us alive. There is so much more love, friendship and a common spirit of cleaning up the streets that must be done here. Give someone the mantle Lord Jesus and help them to save our children!
In Jesus name, Amen.
