Praise God Anyhow!

"Your eyes have seen my unformed substance and in Your book were written all the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them." (Psalm 139:16). If that isn't enough to Praise God for, there's Jesus, there's eternity with God, there's continued blessings into eternity, (for they shall never end)! There's so many wonderful reasons to praise God, but sometimes our praise button can wear out.

That's what happened to me. I was having so many problems with my back that I got laid off from my job in January 2008, and I really needed that job. I was told that watching me be in pain was really hard on the staff. It had nothing to do with the job I was doing, it was more that they were concerned about me. A few weeks later, I had an MRI and was told I had Spinal Stenosis, a birth defect of the spine. It caused pain so severe I couldn't sleep at night, not even with strong pain killers. Nothing touched it, that's just how bad it was. I've been on bed rest for 7 years because I can't sit, stand, etc., for longer than five minutes at a time before my lower back begins to hurt really bad.

Then came the diagnosis of Type II Diabetes February 2014. I'm finally having success in keeping it controlled which is a good thing, praise the Lord! I'm losing weight and eating better, so I praise God for the self control He is giving me in my battle against sugar!  

Last April I had water on the knee and a finger that was bending at the first joint. I just thought it was infected but as it got worse and spread to other digits, wrists and elbows, I was referred to an RA. She told me right off the bat that it was psoriatic arthritis. I'd never had psoriasis but it ran on my Grandfather's side of the family. Guess what happens when you have psoriatic arthritis? You get psoriasis of the skin and boy does it ever itch! I looked it up and there are five different types and I think I have at least 3 of them. My body's immune system has begun attacking itself, as it does with Fibromyalgia, (caused primarily by the birth defect in my spine), and Psoriatic arthritis. The psoriatic arthritis could cause a second hit on my spine with spondylitis, another horrible painful condition of the spine. On top of all of this, they are having a very difficult time treating me because I have two different diseases that literally attack your spine not to mention your ability to fight off any infection that could come out of these other treatments they can't use.

Am I angry? A little. Am I sad? Yeah, because I'm missing the important stuff, like family, being able to drive or leave my house for doctors appointments, etc. I may be missing a lot of stuff, but I will never give up on getting well. 

Why you ask? Because I'm standing on the promises of God that's why!

"Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They shall soar on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not grow faint." (Isaiah 40:31).

"For my grace is sufficient for you for power is perfected in weakness. therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ's power may rest on me." (2 Corinthians 12:9). 

"Naked I came from my Mother's womb and naked I shall return. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, blessed be the name of the Lord." (Job 1:21).

"You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book." (Psalm 56:8).

Thank you Jesus for being my rock. Thank You for your amazing grace and how you "work all things together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purposes." (Romans 8:28).

If you need a good support group for a chronic pain issue, please contact the American Chronic Pain Association Support Group website for an online support group where you can talk with other people who have the same condition. Jesus loves you and He wants to help you through whatever it is you are going through. Please let Him help and if you are a Christian? Praise Him in all things, good and bad and see what the Lord does! 

Hope you are all having a wonderful weekend! God Bless you all!  

The K-LOVE 30 Day Challenge!

There's a Christian music radio station that has been putting out a challenge to their listeners to listen to nothing but their station for 30 days. I'd been listening to their station for years and then suddenly lost them due to a station change. I finally found them again and I ended up having a spiritual experience where I felt like I was standing at the edge of a cliff and God pulled me back from the brink! He then began, through His word and the music, to draw me to Himself and I began walking with Him again. "No man can come to Me, except the Father which hath sent me draw him; and I will raise him up at the last day." (John 6:44). 

So, please do this 30 day challenge? If you are interested, please go to K-Love.comK-Love.com or find it on iHeart Radio at iHeart.com. While you are doing your 30 day challenge, you should tell your friends and ask them to join you in the challenge! I promise. Even if you are a Christian, listening to Christian music for a month will change you forever! It's a way of fellowshipping with God!

The video's I've posted today are songs that have all been played on K-Love a lot but it doesn't really represent all of the great music that I've heard on this station. They play everything from Toby Mac to Tenth Avenue North on their station and some of the music will take you to a better place or a place where you know you need to get right with God. It is a great boost to my day, every day, to listen to K-Love! 

These are indeed the last days and it's time to get right with the Lord Jesus! Just ask His forgiveness and God will forgive you! The Word of God says "As far as the east is from the west; He has removed our transgressions from us to be remembered no more." (Psalm 103:12). This means your sins are immediately removed from the books in heaven. We will sin again, but we have this scripture to give us hope! "Great is His faithfulness! His mercies are new every morning!" (Lamentations 3:23). If you do not do this, you will have to answer for "every idle word spoken" in heaven during the judgment as well as other unconfessed sins. This is why I drive it home a lot that we need to be forgiven daily, because frankly, we disobey Him daily! We may not mean to, but an evil thought, deed, word, act, etc., if not asked forgiveness for, will stay on our records and that can cost us rewards in heaven on judgment day! Lamentations 3:23 shows the faithfulness of God to do what He promises in 1 John 1:9. "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." This is a daily thing, not just something you only need to do once.

There is nothing we must do but believe on Him, and ask His forgiveness on a regular basis (like every day?). If you do these things, you will not have to worry about eternity! Your name will be written in the Lambs Book of Life the moment you accept Christ as Lord and Savior. Nobody can take that away EVER! However, we are still flesh and blood and we still have a sinful nature, so we are going to sin. Lamentations 3:23 explains how we deal with our sin when we have gone outside the boundaries of how God wishes for us to behave. Reading the bible teaches us God's laws, Jesus teachings, which we should all be following, and we learn more than just right and wrong. We learn about wisdom, love, God's patience towards us, His Son's sacrifice for our sins so that we would not have to endure an eternity in hell, completely separated from God, and how our sins exact the same out come while we're still here on this earth. Unconfessed sins lead to a loss of rewards in heaven so we need to ask forgiveness! The bible also teaches us another very important thing. How to deal fairly with each other, love one another as Jesus loved us and how to take care of each other when one of us is down, lost a loved one, ill, in need of friendship, etc. 

Isn't it exciting? We are at the jumping off place, but when we jump we'll be jumping into the arms of Jesus who is coming soon to take us all home! Things may get a bit scary along the way as we keep our lamps well lit and wait for His return, but He will never leave us, nor forsake us. It may feel like it sometimes, but those are the times that He is carrying us because we are not strong enough to do so ourselves. I truly look forward to the day we are called up yonder! I'm anxious! I want to see Jesus!!!

I hope you enjoy these music videos and that God will touch your heart through them. If it touches you in any way, please share this blog post with family and friends and tell them about the K-Love 30 Day Challenge! If they are not yet saved remember this: "The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance." (2 Peter 3:9). 

Don't Stop Believing!

Sometimes this world can drag you down. You feel like every hallway ends with a slamming door. But don't stop trusting God or believing His promises because you can trust God to make good on what He's promised us in the bible.

Last night, I was watching Hal Lindsey. He was talking about the "everlasting Covenant" God made with Abram in Genesis 12. God confirmed the covenant with Abram in Genesis 15. Please go read Genesis 12:1-5 to see what God said He would do. He uses the 1st person, "I will" which means that He will do as He had promised and that nobody else could fulfill it but Him. In Genesis 15:7-17, God confirms this promise to Abram. He is instructed by God to bring certain animals for a sacrifice, but because God knew that Abram had a simple mind and that a transaction was being confirmed, the ritual of walking between the two halves of the animals who were sacrificed would be the confirmation of commitment of God's promise. But God put Abram into a deep sleep, and came to Him in a vision promising Abram that He would give Him the Holy Land as a possession for all of his descendants. He awoke Abram just in time for him to see the smoking fire and torch walking between the two halves of the animals, which Abram believed they would do together, but God was the Almighty! The Covenant He made with Abram could only be fulfilled by God Himself. Abram received the promise and he obeyed God which God "Credited to him as righteousness." 

The promises of God are timeless and everlasting. He sent Jesus to die a horrific death on the cross at Calvary so that if we just believed that He died for our sins, we could be forgiven and become "co-heirs" with Christ!" Those who believe are called "Saints" in the bible! We were "Chosen before the foundation of the world to be holy and blameless in Him." (Ephesians 1:4).

So, if we believe, we must trust that God will follow through with every promise He made in His word! Just because you feel alone, or feel like He isn't listening, there may be something He's doing in the background that you can't even imagine! As my friend put it, "He may be working on a future blessing." I found this out the hard way folks. I was in so much pain, the devil used those feelings of misery to rob me of joy, hope, my mind, etc., and I felt so lost and so alone! But God never leaves us, we leave Him! And when we are too weak to walk alone, He carries us! But when we are in misery, we tend to get really confused because we're not feeling like we're even saved? We beg Him for healing and then just get more and more pain, but that doesn't mean He's forgotten us! He actually cries with us! He loves us so much, that when we hurt, so does God! 

Just because you feel like He isn't listening, doesn't mean He doesn't hear every word, so please don't give up? Keep on trying? Life is hard. Sometimes it just downright sucks, but the gifts and promises of God can light you back up when you go dark! Read the word! Don't just read it, because even if you just pick out one scripture and mull it over for awhile, that is studying your bible! You don't have to make it a contest to see if you can read the bible through in a year! You don't have to do anything but select a few good verses, one for each day of the week, or use a Daily Devotional, which you can find online, (check the sidebar for "Daily Devotional - Bible Gateway), and use it to boost yourself in the morning everyday. 

I use Lamentations 3:23 a lot when I write. Some people don't understand that "His mercies are NEW every morning." All we have to do is say a prayer to ask for forgiveness for our sins, every morning or every night, whichever you wish, and the Holy Spirit will begin to lead you! Be humble! Get on your knees, even if it's only in your heart! He knows what you are going through, even if you're too weak, blind, misled by the devil, etc., to see it! You have to realize that His promises are AWESOME! Lean on them! Read them, believe them, have faith that God does in fact love you so much that He gave His only Son, to die for YOU! He took away your sins and if you are a believer, you are washed in the blood and made white as snow! You are already healed! I'm really ill, and I'm already thinking that either way, death or rapture? I'll be ok with it! I KNOW WHERE I WILL BE GOING WHEN I LEAVE THIS EARTH, NO MATTER HOW I END UP LEAVING IT! HALLELUJAH TO THE LAMB OF GOD! I'M SAVED! I BELIEVE HIS PROMISES AND I WILL NEVER LET THEM GO EVER AGAIN!

It's time to give it one more try. So that's what I'm going to do. Care to join me?

Love, Please Take Me Over!

Ever feel like the whole world is crushing in on you? The last three months have been one of the deepest valley's I've endured during my time on earth. I've been through a lot in my life, but nothing so debilitating as arthritis. 

I've been hiding because I can hardly move. It feels like every joint in my feet, hands, fingers, elbows, etc., are affected. Those of you who are fellow sufferers know what I'm talking about. Good news is my glucose levels are way down! Yippee! Praise the Lord! The debilitating pain is keeping me from eating whatever I want, so I haven't been eating much! I'm losing weight and my glucose levels are SO normal it's almost scary!!

I had been crying here, to my friends on Twitter, FaceBook and on the phone begging them for prayer. I'm reporting now to all of you, I've had a breakthrough! It's as if the clouds parted, and now I can see the Sun! It was warmer today, so I was moving a bit better and could do more, with help of course, but now I'm starting to hurt again. I get a couple of good hours a day, so I need to use them wiser than I have been. The point is, that all of my bellyaching at God about healing me? Well, you know that old saying, "God helps those who help themselves?" I finally had the wax cleaned out of my ears today and this is what I heard: "For whom the Lord loves He reproves. Even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights." (Proverbs 3:12).

So I believe now that God is disciplining me! He wants me well, but He also wants me to work at it! A friend today helped me see that when we are in misery, the devil will steal our joy, hope and sanity from us. I have to tell you, I was beginning to lose hope! The devil uses our feelings to take us on the ride of our lives! He is such a liar! He takes the "feelings" of pain, heartbreak, betrayal, etc.. and tries to destroy us! He's wiley, but today? I stopped crying for healing for long enough to hear that scripture whispered in my ear! Praise God! My joy and my hope are higher than ever! I called my friend to tell her about my breakthrough and she was ecstatic! We prayed and talked and I can't tell you how much lighter I feel now! The pain is still awful, but I am not doubting. I am not hopeless. It's like when you first accept Christ as Lord and Savior! AMAZING!

When you start to lose your joy? It totally eats you alive! You start to doubt yourself, God, His mercy, His grace, the devil just works you over when you're so miserable in pain that it's all you can think about. It's all that you're feeling, so it can tend to take over. That's probably why that little dog we found was such a refreshing break from the monotony of being bedridden in pain. I'm still missing him, but I'm glad we found the little guy's owners. I saw a story on the net today about a dog who was missing his mama, who was recovering from surgery at a hospital about 20 blocks from her home. The dog slipped out of the yard and made the 20 block trek, using her nose, to find her! They have video of her slipping into the hospital and walking down the halls looking for her! The nurses were so amazed, they broke the rules and let her stay and visit! Isn't it amazing that animals can do things like that? It amazes me every time I hear a story like that. 

In any case, my joy is higher than usual now, and my faith, which was beginning to take a pretty hard hit is stronger than ever and now the pain is bearable! It's amazing! "I was lost, but now I'm found" has a whole new meaning to me tonight! I'm so glad I was quiet long enough for God's voice to be heard, or I'd still be sitting here wondering, "Why God? Why is this happening to me?" 

I'd like to take this moment to say to my readers how sorry I am for the way I've used this blog to glorify my pain, instead of glorifying God through it.It isn't very uplifting when all you read is complaints is it? I'm sorry. I hope you can all forgive me. I've now had a revelation of sorts and God has put me in my rightful place! 

"Sorrow may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning," (Psalm 30:5), is a scripture that a friend on Twitter shared with me the other day. It's really true. Just when you feel like you've been left all alone, God steps in and reminds you that you are His, you are loved, that He has never left you before and that He never will and that in our weakness He is the one holding us up because through that weakness, He reveals His strength! "I CAN do ALL things through CHRIST who gives me STRENGTH!" (Philippians 4:13).

I am in prayer for all who read this blog. So just know, if you are going through something equally as difficult, someone is praying for you. = )

Lord, please let Your love flow from this post, all over the world! Let Your love float above us like a flame! Start a fire in our hearts, so we can be Your hands and feet! Help us to not be afraid to share the Gospel with those who are lost, hurting, ill, etc. Give us "divine appointments" to help others find YOU!

Lord, please take all of me and fill me up with Your Love! Let it be an all consuming fire that I share with everyone I meet! Help us all to do the same! AMEN!

The Best is Yet to Come!

I've been watching the world very closely because of biblical prophecy. Even when I'm down, in pain, wanting to literally die, all I need to do is think to myself, "Jesus is coming soon. Stop being a baby." In watching the world, I've realized how blessed I am to have been born in the United States, that I have a roof over my head, food to eat, cars in the driveway, even though I don't drive much these days and that my children are working, healthy, good people etc. They are without a doubt, the best thing I've ever done or will ever do. 

The horrors of ISIS are well documented, including the act of burning a Jordanian pilot to death in a cage, a full month before telling the Jordanians how he had died. It was a taunt like no other. After they killed him, the Jordanians spent a month trying to negotiate his release in exchange for the release of a female terrorist who had been sitting on death row since 2005. They spent that month negotiating with King Abdullah and the Jordanians, making them think they could get their pilot back. 

I heard Bill O'Reilly say that "He wouldn't have done that," referring to what King Abdullah did by hanging two terrorists who were already sitting on death row less than 12 hours after they saw the video of what ISIS had done to their pilot. I'm sorry Bill, but I totally disagree! (Hint? Read the Old Testament!). King Abdullah is a Monarch. He is a King. He's not as weak as I once thought and I think he had to do exactly what he did to respond to the savage way they put that poor 26 yr old  pilot to death. I mean, can you even imagine? They strung the Jordanians along for a whole month, letting them think they could trade a terrorist for this pilot. I would have responded the same way. He is a King! You don't mess with a King! The one thing I don't understand is why we aren't helping them more? The Germans are supplying the Peshmerga and we aren't helping anyone? We're usually the first ones to the fight! It almost makes me ill watching what is going on here.  Obama could do a lot more to help the Jordanians and the Peshmerga, but instead he keeps looking for Syrian rebels to train? AHEM: They are all dead! If there are 50 left, I'd be surprised.

Just another Obama promise that didn't make it out of the starting gate. He's sitting there and mulling things to death, while innocent people are raped, tortured, hung, crucified, persecuted for being Christians, buried alive, executed or beheaded and left in a ditch. These monsters have even beheaded BABIES! (If you remember, there was a King named Herod who put all the first born males to death, up to two years of age while he was looking for Jesus!). This is not the first time this has happened! 

I don't know what is going to happen next and I really don't need to know. All I need to know is that God is in control! So lift up your heads! For our redemption draweth nigh! Jesus is coming soon! All of the signs he mentioned in Matthew 24 have already happened! It could be in the next second! That's how close we are to the time when we will be called up to heaven with a shout!

Personally, I can't wait! I'm old, I'm sick, and I'M READY! I keep praying for God to heal me so that I can get out again and do more for others than this blog. I want to reach the lost for Christ and hopefully, I will get the chance, but I know exactly where I'm going. I know it in my heart, mind and soul, that I am a child of the King and I will go to heaven!

The bible says we will answer for every idle word ever spoken. If I didn't already have forgiveness from Jesus, I'd be doing a lot of answering for a lot of things, but I'm covered in His blood! I'm washed clean, I am new, I am His! This is not my home, heaven is, and I cannot wait to get there! 

Y'all should get ready because from what I've read, we are in for a world of hurt just before Jesus comes to take us home, but take heart, we're headed for a place where there will be no more pain, no more sorrow, 24/7 joy, mansions prepared for us, it's going to be unimaginable, so please get right with God! He's calling your name! "Lo, I stand at the door and knock!" Open the door! Let Him in, because what we have down here, even if our life seems perfect? 

This ain't nothin'. The best is yet to come!

I Still Trust You Lord

Lately, the devil and his demons have been knocking me around like a rag doll, but I still trust Jesus.

I hope this song, (Lyrics posted), will bring you a happy, healthy, normal day because when your health goes, it can take a nose dive? So please trust Jesus. Leave your cares at His cross, because He's already pardoned you.

No matter how much pain I am in, I always try to think positive, which is really hard some days. But at least I try. I mean, what can I do? Only He can step in and save us. 

Please remember Jesus loves you so much that He died on Calvary, so that no matter what the pain is, He'll never leave, nor forsake us! He's right there, so cry out to Jesus for your needs, marriage, health, rocky marriage, etc., because when we stop focusing on ourselves and focus on the good in our lives and to love Him with all our heart, might and strength, even if we have very little left. 

I hope this song will bless you and bring you a message of HOPE! Things are darkest before the dawn, and that dawn, is coming very soon, so "lift up your heads for your redemption draws nigh!"  (Luke 21:28).

I Still Trust You Lord

I've seen the righteous man suffer in pain,

When it looked like the wicket would go free,

And in my frustrations, it just didn't seem right to me.

I prayed for sunshine, but you sent the rain,

I cried for healing but only got pain,

I know Your love will see me through,

Lord, I still trust you!

I still trust you Lord,

I still trust You Lord,

That You're able to guide me through,

This dry barren land,

When I don't know which way to turn or go,

I still trust You Lord,

So let me hold to Your hand

I trust you because You've been so faithful to me,

And You said in Your Word,

I'll never leave  nor forsake you,

You said, "Lo, I'll go with you until the end

Your blood has cleansed me

from all guilt and sin

Your promise I'll hold, hold onto

 Lord I love trust in you.

Chorus

Let me Hold To Your Hand

Dog is God Spelled Backwards

Around noon today, my husband was returning from a Carpenter's Local roll call. (Pray for him! He needs a job!). When he pulled up, this sweet little guy was wandering in the street right in front of our house.

He spent some time coaxing him out of the street to safety, and once he had won him over, he carried him in under his arm and said, "Look who I found!" I was immediately doing that thing us women who love dogs do..."Awwwww....oh he's just SO CUTE!" (You know ladies, the word "cute" is always at a higher pitch right? lol).

We put him on the floor and he immediately started to play with our other Dog, Duke, who is a Pit/Chocolate Lab mix, which is the same as our last dog, Boomer, who never got very excited. He never jumped on people and had a great disposition, but he never was socialized with other dogs properly so he had issues with other dogs.  I think with the two cat litters we had and how mama would let him sniff at her little kittens right after they were born, I think Boomer thought he was a cat! He was very protective and a great dog. I will never forget him. Duke is now 4 yrs old and loves to play with other dogs, but we were smart to socialize him with other dogs properly from the time he was a puppy. He didn't have any problems with this little guy and neither did our kitty cat Calleigh! It was so sweet to see how well they all got along. It was like it was "meant to be?" Of course we will check into whether he's chipped but he didn't have a rabies tag, which would have traced him to his owners very quickly. We had a lovely Pomeranian who wandered into our yard one day that I thought was just as cute and when I got the tag number and called the County, I found the owner with very little effort. When they came to get her, I asked if I could just keep her, kind of like a joke? I was floored when the owner said they had been looking for a new home for her anyway? She was a very sweet dog. She slept on our bed each night. I cried for days when she passed. It wasn't until some kid broke into our home two years later and stole my son's Play Station 2 that we found it necessary to get the Late Great Boomer as he is now known in our home. We are animal lovers and have blown up framed photos of every pet we've ever had. 

A lot of folks, friends, Tweet friends, FB friends, etc., were praying for me this week because of the pain I have been in for weeks due to severe psoriatic arthritis. Then today? This little guy? Just twenty minutes on the couch with my family and our cat and our dog? WOW! It really is true. Animals do tend to take the "bad" feelings, or pain and block them a bit! Just a little lick on the face with that wagging tail? Best I've felt in weeks, especially emotionally. It literally seemed to make my pain ease! I felt better than I have in months, even if it's just until his owners claim him. (Is it sinful to hope they don't? lol). Our other dog is kinda big, so even though I love him, I kind of like the idea of having another dog that is a bit smaller and likes to cuddle? It just made me feel better, it's just kind of unexplainable!

In any case, I'm glad the lil guy wandered into my street, just as my husband was pulling in. If he hadn't coaxed him in, there's no telling what might have happened to him, but if someone dropped him off in my neighborhood to get rid of him? All I can say is "Thank you God." Thank you for hearing the prayers of my friends and leaving him where my hubby would find and rescue him. I sure did need that wagging tail and that sweet little lick. He's such a little sweetie! (Ok ladies, I'm doing that "Oh he's just so cute, (high pitch) thing again!). I think everyone knows what that sounds like! Tee hee!

Also, if anyone knows what kind of terrier mix he might be, email me please? 

Thank you Lord for dropping this sweet little drop of heaven in front of my house today. I sure did need to meet him! Just goes to show you, people are right about service dogs for Veterans, the ill and the elderly. Thanks for sharing with me the unconditional love of a Dog, which is Your name spelled backwards. Adam named this animal, just as he named all of the animals and creatures that are on the earth. I believe Adam named him Dog because the dog was the most faithful of all the creatures he had encountered and I thank you for all of our domesticated little friends because they are more than just friends to a lot of us. They are family. Everyone needs a little love, even if it's just from a four legged friend. I know I'm grateful for meeting this little guy today. 

All of my children have names that begin with "B." I've named a lot of animals the same way, so if we get to keep this sweet little guy, I think we'll name him "Buddy" because, today? God gave me one, just when I needed a buddy the most!

To learn more about service dogs for the elderly or for veterans, go to: Assistance Dogs International.

Today, instead of a music video, here is one to pay tribute to Man's Best Friend. Enjoy and God Bless you and all of your family pets! Just remember, if you do not own a dog, beware! They will leave paw prints on your heart forever!

UPDATE: Our daughter was leaving for work yesterday and saw a flyer on the stop sign on our corner. My husband sat for awhile and finally went out and dialed the number on the sign. A lady answered and suddenly, her car, full with her husband and two kids, stopped at the stop sign as she and my husband realized they were talking to each other! We told them we had their pup and they took their kids to school and came back to get him. Hubby forgot to mention doggy play dates, so I don't know if we'll get to see him again. I cried all day yesterday after they came and got him. He really had a deep impact on me while he was here for the five wonderful days that we had him. He was a blessing from God. Just wish nobody had started looking for him ya know? We fell in love, and we all fell hard. It was hard to give him up, but at least he's where he belongs now. 

Yearning for Home

I don't know about you but I am yearning greatly for home. Not home on this planet "home," but our home in heaven where Jesus is. Jesus wants us to yearn for Him and for heaven, but I'm beginning to wonder if my type of "yearning" is more like giving up. Sometimes I pray for God to take me, which means death, but I'm so confident that I would go to be with Him, that it's really easy to get into that frame of mind. So, when you're in a lot of pain and begging God to take you home, is that a sin? I'm not sure. 

I guess when you're in a lot of pain, the days tend to blur together and then you can't get your eyes off of yourself. You don't stop to think about others in the world who are suffering far worse then you. You instead become myopic and only tend to see your own troubles,pain, illness, etc.

I believe the difference is that one view is selfish and the other is unselfish. You know, it's like the man who cried about having no shoes until he saw a man who had no feet? To live, and suffer, is to praise God, especially in our worst and weakest moments. Even if we cannot feel it, there is grace carrying us and believe me, His grace is sufficient no matter what we're going through and no matter how it happened.

The other may just be the selfish desire of a suffering child who wants to go home like right now and get to a place where you are not suffering anymore. I don't know if I'm being selfish or unselfish. It can be confusing. Sometimes you think you're looking at the entire picture, but our vision only goes so far. God see's the big picture and He wants us to endure to the end so that we might be saved! (Matthew 24:13). I do get a bit confused some times as to which is ok in the site of God and whether the other is just sin.

The one bright ray of hope is that some day, He will wipe all the tears from our eyes and we will get new bodies that are not made of flesh, but spirit and that body will never again feel pain, anguish, grief, sorrow, etc. Some times I think that my suffering is deserved, but that is a trick from the devil himself. He wants to make you doubt your own thoughts and beliefs. He's a wily one that old serpent! He lies to us day and night! Sometimes I feel like I'm playing a game of "Whack A Mole," as these issues keep popping up.

Someday, there will be no more pain, no more sorrow, just joy for all eternity and while I cannot wait to get to heaven, I think I cry out to go home more and more often out of just plain ole despair and I'm not sure it's right to do so even though it's most likely understandable from God's point of view for He is a God filled with mercy for us. He loves us, He doesn't want us to suffer, but this world belongs to the devil and it's not God who causes these horrible things to happen because this is not His world, heaven is!

I'm looking forward to going home to be with Jesus. I know He's coming quickly because all of the scriptural prophecy Jesus said would be a sign of His coming have all happened! (See Matthew 24). I believe we are not far from the Rapture, which does bring me comfort, but I wish God would heal me so I can make what time I have left count for something? I just don't want to let Him down, you know?

Regardless, I hope you have come to faith in Jesus Christ. He is the "Way, the truth and the life and no one comes to the Father but by Him." (John 14:6). So don't be fooled. There are NOT many paths to heaven. There is only one and His name is Jesus Christ. 

I am not saying I'm perfect, because I am far from it but I do see it when I may not be doing stuff the right way, especially when it comes to all the whining I tend to do when I'm in horrible pain. I wish there was more they could do, but with my immune system being so thrashed, the treatments they could give me could put me in the hospital because of possible infection, so I just suffer. I'm not sure if there are other methods, etc., but I just know that I'm at a point where I cry a lot because of the pain and I sit and wonder why I'm not getting relief. The devil could be attacking me to keep me down and I don't want to let him get away with it, so could you please pray for me and for others like me? Especially those who are not strong enough to see the next day ahead through their pain? A lot more people are committing suicide legally due to their pain. A lot of them take their own lives and that is very sad, because giving up? Well, it's the last thing we are supposed to do.

So if you're like me. please don't give up on God or yourself? We really don't have long to wait before a trumpet sounds and we hear "Come up Hither," spoken by Jesus Himself, which will in a millisecond, put us in the clouds with Him! 

Just remember, the days are short, so if you are suffering, let this give you peace? Our suffering is almost over where as those who did not trust Christ when they heard the Gospel, isn't. They say hell is a place of "gnashing of teeth." That sounds like a pretty gruesome situation, doesn't it? I'd rather be in pain and be a Christian than be a non-believer in no pain at all? The non-believer? It's going to sneak up on them, and then it will be too late for them. I pray for all who read this blog, that you know Jesus and if you don't, it's not that you continue living, it's that you get eternal life! 

Yeah, I'm really looking forward to heaven, no matter how I get there, I'll be fine with it. I just have to stop crying like a cry baby and try to do more to help myself than just sit here and wait to die. Jesus wants me to write until my hands don't work at all anymore. If that's what it takes, I'll do it. I want to be obedient, not a cry baby.