Monday, February 2, 2015

Yearning for Home

I don't know about you but I am yearning greatly for home. Not home on this planet "home," but our home in heaven where Jesus is. Jesus wants us to yearn for Him and for heaven, but I'm beginning to wonder if my type of "yearning" is more like giving up. Sometimes I pray for God to take me, which means death, but I'm so confident that I would go to be with Him, that it's really easy to get into that frame of mind. So, when you're in a lot of pain and begging God to take you home, is that a sin? I'm not sure. 

I guess when you're in a lot of pain, the days tend to blur together and then you can't get your eyes off of yourself. You don't stop to think about others in the world who are suffering far worse then you. You instead become myopic and only tend to see your own troubles,pain, illness, etc.

I believe the difference is that one view is selfish and the other is unselfish. You know, it's like the man who cried about having no shoes until he saw a man who had no feet? To live, and suffer, is to praise God, especially in our worst and weakest moments. Even if we cannot feel it, there is grace carrying us and believe me, His grace is sufficient no matter what we're going through and no matter how it happened.

The other may just be the selfish desire of a suffering child who wants to go home like right now and get to a place where you are not suffering anymore. I don't know if I'm being selfish or unselfish. It can be confusing. Sometimes you think you're looking at the entire picture, but our vision only goes so far. God see's the big picture and He wants us to endure to the end so that we might be saved! (Matthew 24:13). I do get a bit confused some times as to which is ok in the site of God and whether the other is just sin.

The one bright ray of hope is that some day, He will wipe all the tears from our eyes and we will get new bodies that are not made of flesh, but spirit and that body will never again feel pain, anguish, grief, sorrow, etc. Some times I think that my suffering is deserved, but that is a trick from the devil himself. He wants to make you doubt your own thoughts and beliefs. He's a wily one that old serpent! He lies to us day and night! Sometimes I feel like I'm playing a game of "Whack A Mole," as these issues keep popping up.

Someday, there will be no more pain, no more sorrow, just joy for all eternity and while I cannot wait to get to heaven, I think I cry out to go home more and more often out of just plain ole despair and I'm not sure it's right to do so even though it's most likely understandable from God's point of view for He is a God filled with mercy for us. He loves us, He doesn't want us to suffer, but this world belongs to the devil and it's not God who causes these horrible things to happen because this is not His world, heaven is!

I'm looking forward to going home to be with Jesus. I know He's coming quickly because all of the scriptural prophecy Jesus said would be a sign of His coming have all happened! (See Matthew 24). I believe we are not far from the Rapture, which does bring me comfort, but I wish God would heal me so I can make what time I have left count for something? I just don't want to let Him down, you know?

Regardless, I hope you have come to faith in Jesus Christ. He is the "Way, the truth and the life and no one comes to the Father but by Him." (John 14:6). So don't be fooled. There are NOT many paths to heaven. There is only one and His name is Jesus Christ. 

I am not saying I'm perfect, because I am far from it but I do see it when I may not be doing stuff the right way, especially when it comes to all the whining I tend to do when I'm in horrible pain. I wish there was more they could do, but with my immune system being so thrashed, the treatments they could give me could put me in the hospital because of possible infection, so I just suffer. I'm not sure if there are other methods, etc., but I just know that I'm at a point where I cry a lot because of the pain and I sit and wonder why I'm not getting relief. The devil could be attacking me to keep me down and I don't want to let him get away with it, so could you please pray for me and for others like me? Especially those who are not strong enough to see the next day ahead through their pain? A lot more people are committing suicide legally due to their pain. A lot of them take their own lives and that is very sad, because giving up? Well, it's the last thing we are supposed to do.

So if you're like me. please don't give up on God or yourself? We really don't have long to wait before a trumpet sounds and we hear "Come up Hither," spoken by Jesus Himself, which will in a millisecond, put us in the clouds with Him! 

Just remember, the days are short, so if you are suffering, let this give you peace? Our suffering is almost over where as those who did not trust Christ when they heard the Gospel, isn't. They say hell is a place of "gnashing of teeth." That sounds like a pretty gruesome situation, doesn't it? I'd rather be in pain and be a Christian than be a non-believer in no pain at all? The non-believer? It's going to sneak up on them, and then it will be too late for them. I pray for all who read this blog, that you know Jesus and if you don't, it's not that you continue living, it's that you get eternal life! 

Yeah, I'm really looking forward to heaven, no matter how I get there, I'll be fine with it. I just have to stop crying like a cry baby and try to do more to help myself than just sit here and wait to die. Jesus wants me to write until my hands don't work at all anymore. If that's what it takes, I'll do it. I want to be obedient, not a cry baby.

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JeriAnn Eakin
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