How Precious is the Name of Jesus!

Feeling redeemed much?  I tend to go back and forth, but only because I am a sinner.  Yep.  That's right, and I admit what a complete mess I have been throughout my life over and over on this blog, hoping it will strike a nerve in someone who is just like me.  I always talk about how "all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God," (Romans 3:23), including myself, but it's weird, I still struggle with it, even when I am in right standing and full agreement with God and without Him?  I am nothing. 

This used to be a feeling I associated with my parents because I felt like there wasn't anything I could do to please them.  I was always mentally running away from their judgments even when I really hadn't done anything wrong.  It was like running against a headwind that to this day has never ceased, (as the devil laughs at me no doubt).  I hoped for years for just one kind word, such as "I'm very proud of you," which to this day, has never come.  Now that my mother is gone, my dad tells me he loves me, but I still never hear anything that says "I approve."

You know, sometimes you have to let what your family thinks, including those around you at church, as they are considered "family," as well, slip into the ether and remember what Jesus thinks about you.  He loves you, and no matter what you do, there is no sin that cannot be forgiven because He loves us unconditionally.  That means that no matter what we do, or say, He will always forgive, teach, and mentor us through His word, helping us to walk in the way everlasting.  Even if we are alone, and feel like we will never "fit," this is true.

So what about you?  Do you feel like nothing you do is good enough?  Maybe you're like me and you feel like you are different, so different, that you are that one extra piece to the jigsaw puzzle that just doesn't seem to "fit" anywhere?  That no matter how hard you try, you just can't seem to find that place where you truly belong?

I've had such a hard time with this same feeling, that I go back and forth, rejecting myself because at times, I still feel un-redeemable, un-loveable, and un-acceptable.  I just had a day recently where I struggled with that feeling and and I'll be 50 in September!  I have to tell you, I am so grateful to be a Christian, that while I have good days and bad with the fibromyalgia pain,and with that feeling like I don't "fit,"  or "belong," that I know it's just the devil trying to put my eyes in the rear view, yelling at me, "Nobody will ever accept you!"  But when I am alone, talking to the Lord, I know I FIT!  I was a missing piece of HIS puzzle and He was looking for me! 

"Jesus is the way the truth and the life, and nobody comes to the Father but by Him."  (John 14:16).  This means that the only thing we can do to get to heaven is accept God's precious gift.  His only son was put to death on a cross made of wood, which he willingly suffered for all of us. When we accept that precious gift, then we will find where we belong, and as believers, we are instantly members of the family of God which will help us find out where we belong and then, we will find what ministry we have been called to! 

I have to admit, as someone who was fallen away for over 10 years, I've struggled with what church to go to, but I found my new home and am very happy there, so don't sweat it if it takes you awhile to figure things out.  Just remember this: Jesus is in the process of waking His sleeping church in order that we might hear the trumpet when He does call us all home!

Did you know, the last act of Jesus Christ was to Bless those who were watching Him ascend into Heaven?  (Luke 24:51).  That Blessing passed from believer to believer, generation to generation and that means we as believers were all Blessed by Jesus Himself!  To have the Blessing of God is an amazing thing and He wants us to receive that Blessing into every aspect of our lives so that we might live the life Jesus wants us to live, and we should focus ourselves to live for Christ and live the life He would've have lived if He hadn't died for us in our place!

No matter what the situation we are in, we all need to remember to see the bigger picture a little more often so that we don't offend anyone.   Even if you are not sure of what ministry the Lord is calling you to, begin speaking the things that are not as if they are, and they will manifest themselves through the spirit, if you're motives are right and  you are asking for the right things, the spirit is a "can do" guy who will bless the desires of your heart! (Romans 4:17-18).

Thank you Father God for the precious gift you gave us when you gave your one and only son, to die for our sins so that we might live.  Thank you that you allowed His Name to be known as the only name on earth by which men may be saved!  (Acts 4:12).  Thank you Jesus, for accepting me "just as I am."  Thank you for comforting me this night, and may your peace reach out through this blog to others who are hurting as well tonight.  Show them your presence in a mighty way, something they cannot ignore, and give them peace.

My toll free line is open 24/7.  1-888-359-5439, so If you need a friend to listen, or you need help understanding just what it is Jesus has done for us?  Call me.  I'll listen.  I'll try to help in any way I can and I will commit to pray for you so that the Lord can begin the same kind of miracle in your life that He has affected in mine!  His name is great, His name is wonderful...His name is Life Everlasting, if you will just believe!

We Gotta Start Somewhere

I just heard of the tragedy in Aurora, Colorado that occurred last night 20 minutes into the Midnight showing of "The Dark Knight Rises," the new Batman movie.

I am in prayer for the 12 families that have lost a loved one, especially for the 3 month old injured in the shooting when a masked man in body armor, armed with an AR 15 assault rifle, a Remington 870 12 caliber shot gun, as well as a 40 caliber Glock hand gun, walked through the exit doors, threw gas canisters into the crowded theater which was full of families and children, and then opened fire into the crowd, killing 12 and injuring between 59 and 71 other people, including children and members of our own military. (Numbers of the injured are sketchy at this point).

This young man, James Holmes, age 24, had no record.  Just a traffic violation.  Thankfully he was arrested in the parking lot behind the theater before he could escape or detonate any of the bombs left behind in his apartment building, complete with trap wires.  They evacuated 5 buildings before going near the building where he lived, and have apparently diffused several devices.  They also decided to check his places of employment, doing an explosives sweep with dogs, etc. to ensure their safety.   As of yet, he has not stated the "why" as to what he has done and it is just unfathomable, so I doubt that any explanation except maybe he went off his meds, would make any sense to anyone at this point.  When they went into the apartment one official said it was like nothing he'd ever seen, so this young man knew exactly what he was doing and was prepared to kill as many people as he could.

The charges filed against him will range from 1st degree murder, brandishing a weapon in public, illegal discharge of a firearm with intent to kill as well as attempted murder of those in the theater as well as in his apartment building possibly over 1,000 counts there, depending on how many could have been killed or injured if the bombs he left in his apartment had gone off, explosives charges, oh the list will be so long. This guy will be charged with Capital Murder, and will receive justice for what he has done, most likely a needle in the arm.

We should all begin praying for our communities to be safe from all these horrible actions by unstable people.  Perhaps there is nobody to blame and this is just an isolated, random incident, but now do you understand why it is so important to reach out to those who are not saved?  Will it begin with you?  You're neighbor's?  You're friends?  You're family?  For those of you who are highly affected by this tragedy, God is calling your name and He wants you to share His!

As for me, I am going to spend the day in prayer, for that 3 month old child, and the others who were injured as well as the families who've lost a son/daughter, husband/wife, mother/father, sister/brother, or friend.

"May the Lord bless you and keep you.  May the Lord make His face to shine upon you and be gracious unto you.  May He lift up His countenance upon you and give you peace."  (Numbers 6:24-26). 

Please pray for the gunman's family as well, even if you don't think they deserve it?  They've lost somebody today as well and I'm sure if they had an inkling he was ill, which he obviously is, they would have done something about it and gotten him the help he needed, but now it's too late and I will pray for their son who was clearly not in his right mind when he committed this horrific act, which he will no doubt pay for with his own life.  

When will we get the message?  God is telling us to "GO" and yet we sit.  There is a city on it's knees today in prayer.  Let us join them in solidarity today.  God be with you Aurora Colorado, you have our deepest sympathies.

The Choice

I was verbally cursed by my parents when I was very little, which caused the devil to be able to take control little by little in my life, even as a small child and as a result, I've never had any self - confidence, which made it very hard to make or retain friendships, even to this very day!  The kids were so cruel that I was made fun of from 1st grade thru my Senior Year of high school.  I could never stop talking, which annoyed other kids, and they didn't want to be around me.  I was also always in trouble with my teachers for the same reason, and was taking notes home every other day, getting spanked, yelled at, etc.

My parents divorced when I was 8, and since, I haven't been right. Since 2002, when I filed for legal separation, I have been watching my own marriage dissolving right before my eyes, and I am just barely holding on some days, hoping for the Lord to heal my family but I fear that even if I can save the relationship with my children, my husband is already long gone and has been for a very long time.  The pain my husband is feeling is coming from unforgiveness but we only hold ourselves hostage when we refuse to forgive others.  He is still angry at me and my raging self, the child who was never loved, who felt rejection from early on, who for years lashed out, caused havoc in his finances, etc., etc., before beginning to search for healing from God, which finally came just yesterday, praise the Lord!  God finally tore down the last wall that was separating me from His will for my life, and the fulfillment of His promises for my life as well.

He came in tonight with attacks on my character, which were meant to ensnare me with anger, and an argument.  Instead, I prayed for him, asking God to bless him, rather than falling into the trap.  That would have hurt me worse than it would him, considering that I am just beginning to find the secret of how to stay Holy, not letting strife into my life, so I followed my steps of "What would Jesus say?" without even thinking about it.  I just said "Please don't?  I really just don't want to argue with you?"  After that, he said one more hurtful thing and then left me alone.  It was if he was trying to start a fight with the comments he was making to me about my "past self," and a member of my immediate family and how he doesn't care about her, and while it made me extremely sad, I did not allow myself to become angry, which usually?  It would have been a knock down drag out fight!

God wouldn't let me respond in any other way but to "love my enemies and pray for those who persecute you."  (Matthew 5:44).  For the 1st time in almost 27 yrs, I was successful in not taking the bait!  I turned away from the trap I have been falling into for years and I had victory over the devil's plot to make me fall back into sin.

I pray almost every day for a solution to this current hell I live in.  I need support, not just financial obligation, but true emotional support rather than constant judgment about who I used to be with no credit for who God is helping me to become.   I need someone who is going to see the change and give me a 2nd chance, not someone who will hold this over my head forever if we stay together.  I wish I could leave, that would solve a lot of things, but financially I am unable to so he holds all of the cards and at times, I feel completely trapped, which I suppose is payback.  I was pregnant when we got married, and he has always felt like I trapped him into a marriage he did not want.

He is in sin with another woman, and even brings her into the home my children grew up in while I am here, but I am bound by this beaten down, wretched flesh which is full of medical issues and at the current moment I am unable to change my situation.  I am forced instead to just learn to live with it and pray for us all.  I have no place to run except to the feet of Jesus, where I lay all of my anxiety and concern and He is the one caring for me now.

I have desired to be accepted all my life.  I just always wanted to "fit in," but never have. I am like that one extra puzzle piece that came with the Jigsaw Puzzle, but there seems to be no place for my puzzle piece in the puzzle, so I get ignored.  Therefore, as always, I am looking for a place to belong.

I just needed to share that tonight.  His attacks, be they cruel and unjust, were shut down tonight by the Holy Spirit who is now in full control of my life, my emotions and my actions.  No more just "half way" living for Christ now.  I am in full obedience to God's will for my life and He comes first and I won't allow the words of my ex to push me into a crumpled heap onto the floor ever again, nor will I ever respond to his unjust cruel statements as fact, nor will I respond to them emotionally with anger, or hate, but rather, I will love my enemy, and pray that God blesses him! 

So hang in there guys and gals.  You may feel alone, but I guarantee you, you are not.  Jesus is carrying you through your valley like He has carried me and at the other end He will raise all of us up against our enemies and they will scatter in 7 directions, though they come from only one, like straw in the wind!  (Jeremiah 13:24).

Jesus raised me to a mountain top and showed me what it "could" be like, so I will focus on Him, His promises and let Him lead the way.  For I know, He will love me, care for my heart and lead me Home when the time comes.

I will cling to Jesus.   He is all I have, so I will hold on and never let go ever again.

I Once Was Lost....But Now I'm Found!

Are you leaning on the everlasting arms?  If not, rest for awhile in His arms, and you'll feel the grace poured out for you on the Cross.  

He came to save us so that we might have life and more abundantly!  Even if you are in a valley, lift up thine eyes to the hills from whence cometh your help!  (Psalm 121:1).

Rest in His arms awhile, and let Him love you!

Self Control Vs. The Rant

How long has it been since you got angry in traffic?  Maybe you ranted all the way home at that smaller, slower car in front of you in traffic, that leaves a huge space between themselves and the car in front of them, and traffic is heavy, you're in a hurry, and you're yelling basically at nobody, "Come on!  GO!"

God told me this morning that I am running out of time.  I am running out of time to save souls.  The day is drawing nearer my God to thee folks!  And the time of reckoning between my self control and my rant has finally come.

The ranting is over.  The sin is over.  The pain is over.  The past is in the past, dead and buried FOREVER with Christ Jesus who went to the depths of hell to set the captives free and rose triumphantly from the dead, forever raised to sit at the right hand of the Father, and His return is drawing near! There is no more mourning, just happiness and a fervor for ministry to others who are just like I was, ranting at traffic, or to anyone who will listen to you rant, as I used to.  I could never get my eyes off of myself, or out of the rear view, but praise God, today was the day God finally set this captive free!

No more, "well this and that, and so and so, and on and on and on and on."  My self control vs. my rant was constantly getting me into trouble, getting in my way and now I recognize the tool of the devil to stop the train of victories in my life, usually with that big hole near the bottom of my face!  I have finally found an answer to help me, and if any of you have the same problem, don't despair like I did.  Just imagine Jesus in control, behind the wheel, and just let go and let God.  The only one you are not helping by ranting, or saying things that you don't mean or rambling on and on about stuff that is basically meaningless is yourself.  God wants to use you, not lose you!

I have just had a major breakthrough that my recovery has already occurred.  I have been recovered, reclaimed, restored, re-confirmed, re-established, re-cleansed, rejuvenated, refreshed, rebuilt and every "RE" that is in the book!  When God salvages you from the bottom of the ocean, you just kinda know it?  No other recovery is really necessary.

My self control problem was that hole in the center of my face, and God gave me the answer to stop the trigger of my emotions speaking out first, and a vision of Christ next to me with His finger over my mouth and asking me, "What do you think I might say?"  Letting the spirit speak through us is how we reach others!  We live the life He would have lived!   Proverbs 3:5-6 says "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct thy paths!"  OH MY GOODNESS THE LORDS GRACE IS BEING POURED OUT!  DO YOU NOT FEEL IT????

The Lord hasn't stopped conversing with me since the study I attended last night.  We were studying  Nehemiah, who went to the King with a down cast face, which as a cupbearer was punishable by death in those days.  A cupbearer was responsible for tastimg the food and wine before the King and Queen to assure it's safety, i.e., that they wouldn't be poisoned, and a few other things were involved, but Nehemiah had a down cast face and after several years of service, a friendship had been established.  When the King inquired of the sadness he saw in Nehemiah he told the King that he wanted to go to the burial place of his fathers, and rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.  (Nehemiah 2:5)  The King let him go!  He was with the Queen and they asked Nehemiah for a time frame, and the King also provided all the necessary lumber, and materials that he would need to accomplish the job which was completed in just 52 days!  (Nehemiah 6:15).

Curiously, in Nehemiah 6:3, he is asked to come down from his work on the wall.  He sent messengers to those who had asked him to retreat from his work saying, "I am doing a great work and I cannot come down. Why should the work stop while I leave it and come down to you?"  This verse tells me that I am running out of time to do the job that God sent me to do, which is to tell you that God loves us all very much, so much that He sent His only Son, Jesus, to die on Calvary's Cross to save us from our sins so that we should not perish but have everlasting life!  (John 3:16).  The work is started, He is rebuilding me in a quick way, building on my past studies, and telling me new information all the time.

What  is really eerie?  After the wall was completed in just 52 days, Israel's enemies were stunned!  "When all our enemies heard of it, and all the nations surrounding us saw it, they lost their confidence, for they recognized that this work had been accomplished with the help of our God."  (Nehemiah 6:16).

That is an interesting verse, because immediately after the rapture, the Holy Spirit will be removed from the earth with the Bride of Christ, the Church, and immediately, God will cause a great delusion to come upon the earth, but some who have been enemies to us, who knew we were Christians, (think of the Christians being slaughtered in the Middle East and Africa?) what will they think when all the Christians disappear?  They will be afraid, they will lose their self confidence and they will know that our God has saved us and that Jesus is very real!  Oooohhhhh just gives ya goosebumps doesn't it???

So look up - We are going home very soon!  God is whispering things in my ear, and I no longer have time to mess around with studies that will remove me from my appointed rounds.  I cannot leave the wallbuilding until the wall is up and all those that can be saved are saved!  I am meant to do ministry, not recovery, for God has already recovered me!

It just hit me this morning, but I am moving on in my passion for Christ and His message to the church!  "He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God."  (Revelation 2:7)

Jesus is our King.  He has already equipped us with the necessary tools, and gifts of the spirit to complete our task and we are all running out of time to complete the tasks He has given us for Jesus is near, even at the door!  Please, church, get on your feet!  Don't give in, don't give up, and keep looking up, for our redemption draweth nigh!

God Bless you all today as you go about your daily tasks and don't lose your self control because of traffic, or something someone said that hurt your feelings, or made you feel bad.  Just let it flow off of your back like water off of a duck! Go and serve your King!  And "May the King Live Forever!"  (Nehemiah 2:3).  We will Reign with Jesus forever - get ready church, cause he's getting ready to call us HOME!  (Revelation 4:1).  Jesus has delivered me from my rant, and now my King is in full control!

I am no longer caught up in myself!