He's Always Been There

Early last night I had a really bad allergic asthma attack and wound up in the local ER.  I've had them before, and understanding exactly what it was and what needed to be done, I calmly climbed into my car and drove to the hospital for help. 

I was under attack by the devil the whole way and he was winning because panic was setting in.  He tends to spout things into your head like, "You're dying," is the first one.  Then it's "You can't breathe!"  Then it's "You're so stupid, sucker, you know you can't go through this without the pills....You're weak....You should be so ashamed!"   He had me in the palm of his hand there for at least 15-20 minutes after being admitted.  It was slowly getting worse, but then something happened as I began to ask God to save me from this attack.

As I sat waiting, I started to get increasingly panicked.  Just then they came in for a moment and  left the curtain open just enough so I could see another patient across the ways in a distant room.  He looked way worse off than me, and my heart felt immediate compassion on him, so I started to pray for him.  I used the promises of Ezekiel 37 and the Valley of Dead Dry Bones!  I opened the palm of my hand and blew towards him, praying that God's breath of life would reach him through me, just praying it.  I do not know what God has in store for any of us, but when God gives you a command to pray in a certain way, you do it!  I might look like an idiot at some point, but I don't care.  I'd rather be ridiculed for Christ then feel comfortable in my "complacency", which is the "death to all Spiritual Growth."  (A. W. Tozer).  I know God is faithful and He will work miracles in those peoples lives because I was obedient!   As for my failure, and the panic attack and the nebulizer....I did feel very defeated, and ashamed that I had somehow failed God by not trusting Him more.

Then out of nowhere, I suddenly had this thought this morning and as the river of tears began to fall I prayed, "Jesus...oh Jesus.....you went through all of my panic attacks on the cross, you felt that horrible feeling of the devil grabbing you by the leg, pulling you under the earth kicking and screaming..oh Jesus, I'm so sorry!" I actually was grieved for the panic attacks he suffered on the cross because of me, because I know how awful they are!  He had every sin of every human being that would EVER live in his very soul as He died for us!  Is it any wonder that He died of a broken heart?

This realization had me in tears.  Not only did Jesus feel our sins, He felt our disappointments, our hurts, could feel our tears, our shame, our rejections, our worst fears that keep us paralyzed in sin, our physical infirmities, our panic syndrome, our mental illness....can you just imagine what He went through on that cross?  It truly never occurred to me, but if all things are out of sin, and Jesus died for all of them, that would include all of the medical infirmities brought on by incorrect living, addiction, all the bad things we have done, bad words, and thoughts that not only hurt ourselves but can hurt other people as well, and the pain it can cause them, which might cause them to sin in their hearts with unforgivenss of others, which causes so much pain, not just to the person we have wronged, but to Jesus too.  "What you do to the least of these my brethren, you are doing it unto me."  (Matthew 25:40).  That doesn't just include the "good" things we do folks, it includes the bad stuff too and He weeps for us that we just don't get it you know?

I am finding victory over a beat up body, abuse riddled, guilt riddled, pain riddled, panicked riddled and asthma riddled now apparently (lol), crippled in every way possible, I mean, I truly am a broken human being, but He is fixing all the damage that has been done, either through the devil's attacks through others, or the attacks I placed upon myself for so many years, saying to myself I couldn't be better than I am.  Well, I'm here to tell ya, the Lord has been there all along, and now that I am listening, "I am confident of this, that he who began a good work in you (and me!), will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."  (Philippians 1:6).

My healing is in Christ Jesus and no other.  I await the moment when I can just touch the hem of his robe.  It's okay, I will get victory over it, but it is so comforting to know He is already there!

Be Still and Know

"Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and all His righteousness shall be added unto you."   (Matthew 6:33).

Seeking God first is what we have been called to do as Christians, but have you ever stopped to think about that second part? 

In Ephesians 1:4, Paul outlines just a few of the blessings in store for believing Christians.  The blessings in store for us can't be counted, of course,  for they go into eternity with us, so how could their number have an end, but here is just a very short list of the best blessings!  I have rejoiced over and over reading these passages!   Here is what Paul said we could expect to attain as believers in Ephesians chapter 1: 

• Chosen to be Holy and Blameless in Him before the Foundations of the World
• Predestined to adoption as son's of God
• Sons & Daughters of God through Christ
• Forgiveness of our Sins
• The Richness of His Grace
• His Wisdom & Insight
• He Reveals the Mystery of His Will to us
• His kind intentions poured out on Believers through the mercy of Christ
• We will Inherit the Kingdom of God through Christ
• Predestined According to His Purpose
• Sealed in Him with the Holy Spirit of Promise
• We are God's Possession
• We have the Hope of His Calling

We Have the Hope of His Calling.  Wow.  If you read through the entire chapter of Ephesians 1, you will see these promises flowing from the page and I hope for the first time, you weigh what it means to have all of the above working for you!  For if God is for us, who can be against us?  (Romans 8:31).

You know something?  Some times God and all He has done for us just kinda leaves me a little speechless.  Thank you Jesus for your love, and for all You have done for us Lord!  Your ways are so wonderful...quiet our hearts Lord so that we may all have a word from You!  


Be blessed and have a terrific day everyone!  God Bless You All!

He Restores My Soul

It was difficult to write today, as the devil is always in the details, I guess he just couldn't resist seeing me spill water on the keyboard of my laptop!  I didn't do my usual insane dance though?  Usually, I  might throw a real temper tantrum, however, Instead of acting badly, I acted very rationally when normally, it would have really ruined my day and caused me to explode!   Thing is?  His peace is inside of me because I have read His word!  I read Psalm 91, which allowed me to claim His victory for me!   It was already mine, and I didn't even have to think about it!  

Now, I've already shared a few secrets with you, so here's one more!  I used to engage in road rage and I am not proud of it.  Now, I see the way I used to drive as a period of Grace that God walked through me with, for surely there were times I was acting really stupid!  So stupid that I finally paid a price!   I rolled my truck on an access road that runs along a stretch of highway that was my daily trek to work. I was hurt pretty bad, aching at home for 2 weeks to recover, so I learned my lesson once and and for all and no longer engage in that type of behavior.   I mean really, what's the point?   Getting there two seconds ahead of someone else really isn't that important, so why was I behaving like that?  I have no answer!

The road we travel is more than how we drive folks. It's the thought life we participate in, the broken relationships and our approval addictions that drive us down whichever road we decide to follow, especially if one presents itself to us that we didn't expect.    

"Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows".  (Luke 12:7).  

Let God be God.  Be still and KNOW THAT HE IS!  He wants to be your Savior!  That's what He came here for! 

He's saving me.  Let Him save you too will you?  Jesus loves you so much, you see "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." (John 10:10).

Please don't make rash choices?  Stop and remember the things that God has told you?  Remember that voice of reason within?  Keep your temper in check, because in these last days, the sanity you keep may just save your life!   For the love you show, is your ticket out of trouble!   He will protect you when you act rightly!  "Above all love one another, for love covers a multitude of sins."  (1 Peter 4:8).

If you are confused and lack direction for your Christian walk, or you are just getting started, ask God to speak!   Be still and Know that He IS God!  "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and all His righteousness shall be added unto you."  (Matt 6:33).

His Grace is Sufficient!  (2 Cor 12:9). I am already praying for God's miracle for someone reading this blog!  Fix it God!  Fix us all!

Restore our souls oh Lord and help us all to live like we believe!

Lost & Found

The testimony I am about to give is true.  I was a terrible mess until about 2 weeks ago.  Filled with panic disorder, even agoraphobia was taking over my life because of my illness.  I have Fibromyalgia and have been out of work since January 2008 and was recently diagnosed as having 6 small tumors on my thyroid and 3 MRI's which explained the pain in my back.  It is a birth defect known as spinal stenosis.  I guess that makes me still a bit of a mess, but God has assured me that nothing is impossible with Him, and He wants to restore me!

I have been living in pain, fear and anger.  I had a horrible childhood, rife with abuse, sexual, physical, emotional, etc., and the Devil has lied to me my whole life.  He really is a buzz kill you know that?  (So is being disobedient to God, but we'll save that for another post!  lol).

I was lost in my fear and anxiety for so long, that when God reached down, He had to reach really far!  I was praying for Him to "Just take me home Lord, I hate these people that you placed me on this earth with, and I just can't take any more of it God!"  I was acting like a spoiled rotten child and then I heard a sermon by Pastor John Hagee called "Shattered Dreams," and I asked God, "What would you have me do Lord?  I am so broken in my sin, and my strife, and my striving....Help me Jesus."  I just heard, "You're a Barnabus, you know what to do!"  And this site was born from that conversation, which really has been non stop since!  

Not only do I not need Xanax anymore, I am believing God for an even greater miracle and that is to be well again!  I want Him to reach down and heal me now instead of just giving up and going home!  And let me tell ya something else?  As long as this body has breath, I will praise God!

I was watching Pastor Chris Hill, the Founder of Chris Hill International Ministries and the Sr. Pastor of The Potter's House Denver at a Planet Shaker Ministries Conference in Melbourne Australia, and he was talking about how we don't get to be depressed or have pity parties or have low self esteem because we are made in God's image!  We are totally dissing Him for His wonderful Creation when we do that! He also reminded me that the bible says "Let everything that hath breath give Praise to God!"  (Ps 150:6).  God is breathing life back into my dead dry bones! (Ezekiel 37:4-6).  He has pulled me out of the pit of darkness to anoint me!  I am covered by His spirit and I cannot escape Him, not that I would want to, because what a joy it is to Sit at His Feet!  I ask every day, "How is it Lord that you have called me?  HOW ON EARTH DID I GARNER YOUR FAVOR LORD!"  I will now give Him praise and give Him the Glory in all that I do!  Do you have breath left?  THEN PRAISE HIM!  SEE WHAT GOD CAN DO!  HE WANTS TO RAISE YOU UP TOO!

Have you fallen away?  Have you met Jesus yet?  He accepts you just as you are, He loves you even with your faults, and He already died for your sins, so why not take Him up on His offer?  If I can trust the Lord and not need Xanax, and have victory over anxiety and fears that caused the worst panic attacks, oh my goodness, the devil was literally making me feel buried alive every time it got dark outside!  It was an INSANE thing to go through and I am glad now to be on the other side of it!  PRAISE YOU JESUS FOR YOUR RICH HEALING POWER!  

I can again move about outside without being in horrible fear, and you too can have the kind of awakening and joy that I am living now!  I was totally LOST!  But GOD FOUND ME AGAIN!  And believe me, when God calls you, you totally know it!  Like I said, there was nowhere for me to go!  I now cannot hide from His face!  God is Light, He is Love, He is Greater than he who is in the world, He gives me strength and peace that "surpasses all understanding!"  (Philippians 4:7).

Again, remember, "You were chosen from the foundations of the world, (think on that one for awhile...it's heavy!), to be holy and blameless in Him!"  (Ephesians 1:4).

Step up to the plate Church!  The ball is coming your way!  Have a good eye and don't swing at a bad pitch!  The devil is a snare!  He is lying to you about yourself!  Don't listen to him!  Tell him that God loves you just the way you are, and to "in the name of Jesus, get away from me Devil!"  Ask God to remove the oppressive spirits upon you and throw off that blanket of sin and death, and rejoice in the promise of Eternal Life that only His blood makes possible!  You just have to believe John 3:16!  "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son so that whoever believes in Him, shall not perish, but have everlasting life!"  


Hallelujah to the Lamb of God that was slain!  


This is MY CREED!  I hope you believe the same things I do!  God Bless You All!  Have a terrific day!

Believe Much?

I was having a rough time getting started today.  I will admit it.  I am still bound by the flesh of this earth, so my body still needs rest and so does my mind occasionally lol.  Building a ministry on the say so of God can be exhaustive but He is providing strength, fortitude, and "stick toitness," like never before!  This site was built by God Himself!  I am having a "white haired, mountain peak, burning bush" type of experience with the Lord which is why it is having an effect!  He is girding me with righteousness for His name sake!  (Ps 23:2).

He has been sharing messages with me about mercy, grace and His redemptive work and how it is the only way He can lead us all home!  

I always think of the scripture "Great is thy faithfulness, His mercies are new every morning."  (Isaiah 3:23).  This means that we can have a BRAND NEW START EVERY DAY!  If you get caught up in your thoughts, which might be against what God says in Philippians 4:8, about letting our minds dwell on the good things instead of the bad?   Do it for just one day and watch God move!

I am literally getting my socks blessed off by the Lord right now.  He is making me believe Him for the secrets He is sharing with me right now and how to make it in the end days.  We are going to be tested Church!  Get UP!  Go OUT!  Get off the "Pity Pot" and see what God can do!  JUST TRUST HIM!  BELIEVE HIM! BE OBEDIENT TO HIM!  IF HE IS CALLING, ANSWER HIM!

His mercies are filling me with His grace and His love!  I am so not worthy of the honor to Hear his voice like this!  Please pray for me if you are a Christian and you read this?  He is rising me up to be Mighty in Him!  For He is MIGHTY TO SAVE!  And He is saving me from the devil's snares daily!  I cannot express how this feels...it is so different from anything I have ever felt!  His Grace is upon me!

Thank you Jesus for those that will read this and be spurred to come home to You Lord!  May you lift them up to do a great ministry and great works in your Name and for those who just need you Father, I ask that they will say this prayer, "God, I'm a mess.  But I want to be yours!  I believe that Jesus died for my sins and I want Him to come into my heart and help me live for Him alone!  Please forgive me for my sins.  Save me Jesus so I can come home and be your child again!  Amen!"  

If you prayed that prayer, please know that there is help.  If you want knowledge or you need prayer, please call me at 1-888-359-5439 and ask.  Call also if God is moving in your life!  I want to hear from you for it spurs me on to do more!

I hope this post is blessed by He who breaths life even into a set of dry dead bones!   He is breathing life into my dry, weary, broken and scared life.  Is He doing that for you?   Reach out and claim that promise!  Breathe life into our broken lives Lord!  Restore us all!