In late April of this year, I was in a heap on my bed begging God to just remove me from this earth. I was so lost in my sin, my heart broken in pieces, my physical pain driving me to thoughts of suicide, the devil constantly taunting me that my life was over, and that I was not able to be used by God because of all of my sins. He would taunt me that "You're a waste of space." You're this, your that, on and on came the attacks, which left me completely defeated and desperate for a way out of my situation, with no way out to be found.
One day I cried out to God, "I've had enough!" Have you ever had enough? Well, God wasn't done with me yet, as witnessed in this blog if you dare to read all of the posts herein, and the process of rebuilding my life began.
It was if he kept speaking and I almost couldn't keep up! A few months before this great awakening, I was watching the Middle East exploding, and I started to pray "Lord please find me worthy," which is when He came to me to say "Oh no, I'm not done with you yet! (Philippians 1:6). Seeing these things, knowing what I know about Bible prophecy, I knew that these events were the birth pangs Jesus spoke of in Matthew 24, and that the return of Christ for His Bride was very near!
Once I came into full obedience, God's blessings started to flow, pouring over my head like someone dumped a bucket of living rushing water on my head, and it hasn't stopped flowing since. I know it sounds kind of whacky, but when He came to me that day in late April He told me, "there is no place for a prophet to hide from Me, not even in the belly of a whale."
I recommitted my life at that very moment and now I am in constant conversation with God and I can actually hear Him which would cause most shrinks to commit me to a facility for the insane! (1 Thessalonians 5:7). At times, going somewhere without my bible seems to be a foreign thought to me, because the Word is where my life stems from and I have a burning desire to lead others to Christ so that they won't be lost. I now cry out to God every day with a very heavy and burdened heart for those that are lost, begging for opportunities to give them hope, and help the Lord to save them, for without Him, I can do nothing. (John 15:5). I am seeing such an amazing change in my life that I hardly recognize myself anymore! That is what a wonderful work God is doing in my life!
Once I came into FULL obedience to Christ, living the way He would have lived, speaking the words He might have said I now feel like all that God promised is coming together right before my eyes and I keep speaking of things that don't exist as if they do exist, and then, to my utter awe and amazement the Lord is making them happen! (Romans 4:17).
I came across this cute little video, and I would like to share it with you. The Bible talks about how "A child will lead them," (Isaiah 11:6) and this little girl...well, just WOW! As a former "Jonah," who ran from what God wanted me to do, her telling of the story actually made me break down in tears, God bless her. Please watch as a child, no more than 7, tells the story of Jonah, and be blessed! May God bless you all as you watch, and may you stop running from God, for He has a great work He wants to do in you as He is doing in me!
The story of Jonah from
Corinth Baptist Church on Vimeo.
Thank you Lord Jesus for the joy you have put in my heart since recovering me from certain loss into this world, it's ways, it's beliefs and it's woe's. Thank you for predestined adoption through your son, Jesus. (Ephesians 1:5) Thank you for your constant forgiveness every time I blow it, which is several times a day. Thank you that the Holy Spirit is there constantly reminding me that "Oops, did it again!"
I am so grateful to be your child, and to know you as my Abba Daddy. You are the cornerstone that was rejected, but you are the cornerstone of my heart and my life and in all I do, I give tribute to you. In my trials and my tribulations, you carry me, and in my victories I will give you all the praise! Thank you God, for your son Jesus, and for giving Him for us so that we may live, and have life to the full! (John 10:10).
There is no way I could ever thank you enough Lord. But I will live every day in such a way as to honor you and you alone. I will honor you with my words, my actions, my prayers, in all that I do. My whole being, my soul, my mind, my heart, they all belong to you and you alone. And even in the midst of my life, full of turmoil and strife, I will continue to trust you for a better tomorrow, and a future full of happiness rather than sorrow, shame and guilt.
I love you Lord. Your little girl is afraid, but you did not give me a spirit of fear, but of power, love and self control. (1 Timothy 1:7).
I have a grateful heart and a life that is pure, humble and ready to do whatever work you call me to do.
In Jesus Precious Name, Amen.
Here we go, another week about to start! I hope you will come here first and get a little encouragement to start your week, and remember, don't work too much, keep a good balance! Without balance, your life will completely fall apart.
Your family needs you Mom/Dad, and you need to remember that while success is wonderful to have, it's not worth losing your family for.
So be thankful for all you have and remember to build the foundation of your lives on the rock of Christ, and not just a hill of sinking sand. You could start by going to church on Sunday's, reading your bible, and preparing yourselves for the times ahead. Occupy Wall Street and the unrest that comes with it, is beginning to frighten a lot of people, so don't take your families for granted, and don't let your job dictate your life to you! The losses you might incur? Well, it's just not worth it now is it? Praise God, there is a reset button. All you have to do is "choose" to press it!
I will be praying for all of you, just as I do every day. I am
burdened for you all and what you're going through, even if I don't know what
that issue/problem/situation might be, and even though I don't know you, God does, and He knows everything you're going through! I am trusting Him to work it
all out for you! He can do a great work in
your life if you allow Him to control your destiny.
Hope you have a great Monday. Enjoy your coffee!
Do you feel the power of Christ in you?
It's okay - most people who say they are believers don't. Some of us have so much going on in our lives, that it's kind of difficult to find time for God and really truly sit down day after day and spend time with Him.
I usually wake up speaking prayers for my day, or hearing scripture in my head, so it's kind of easy. But I have a couple of secret weapons. I am crippled by fibromyalgia, which I'm learning to praise God for even when it really hurts, and my children are grown up, and only one of them is still living at home. She's great to have around when I do get to see her, because it makes the empty nest syndrome not so bad, but I barely see her because she's always working.
So here are a few suggestions for those of you who have a hard time finding time to pray, or read God's word because there is so much going on in your daily life.
For instance, perhaps you and your spouse can pick the same chapter to read, and even maybe spend time in the morning reading it together out loud before you need to get moving for your day. If you don't get a chance to do that, here is another idea: Mom, you can read it after dropping off the older kids at school and when you get home and nap time comes around, you can sit down and read that chapter. And dad, maybe during a lunch break you can find a way to sneak away to read in a quiet place the same chapter your wife is reading at home. You can read in the morning, but with little ones, it can be kind of hard, so this alternative may be helpful.
Check on the left hand side of this blog in my "Other Great Site's" list and look for the link for Daily Bible Reading. It's a great place to start! You can also try One Year Bible Online! as well, and there are plenty of other sites that will help you to understand God's word, for instance, the Strong's Concordance, can help you find the meaning of words in Hebrew from the Old Testament and Greek from the New Testament! Some of what you find there will knock your socks off! (I dare you to use that link and look up one word - "Confirm." It will blow your mind all the different things in the Greek that just one word can mean! As believers in Jesus Christ's death on the cross, His resurrection and His ascension to the right hand of the Father in Heaven, God confirms us as His children! In fact, God is "confirming" us every day when we study His word, trying to get to know Him, and believe me, you're efforts will not go unrewarded! You will begin to see Him working in you, through you, and in the lives of your family as well! Just make sure to pray before you read the chapter, and then again afterwards asking Him to "enlighten" you as to what it means.
Then after dad gets home, and you're about to eat dinner, be a good example to your children and say grace. Thank God for the food, and ask Him to bless it to the nourishment of your bodies, and thank Him for His son Jesus who gave His life so that you might have life. The little ones may not understand quite yet, but they will learn in time what it means.
Then after dinner, play time, bath time, bedtime stories, etc., make time to sit on the couch and look at the chapter together, sharing what you both learned from it. Since our perceptions are always different, you will wind up learning from each other! It will make you feel closer, and it will help you through rough times when they come because instead of leaning on the flesh - (each other) - you will both reach out to God first in times of despair. And when you come into full obedience to God as the Holy Spirit leads you, then the blessing of God will over flow in your life! To obey is better than sacrifice! That is what God wants from us more than anything! Our obedience! Because then He CAN bless us! Putting your trust in Him alone will become a blessing that lasts forever in your life if you continue to do so. Give God His due and believe me things in your life will begin to change. But remember, you both will have to commit to reading the chapter, and then talking about it - FIND THE TIME! Or as Air Jordan might say, "JUST DO IT!"
If you are not attending church, find one. If you don't like that one, keep searching until you find a church where you feel comfortable and then get involved. Let me tell ya, there is nothing like being able to go to service, hold hands and listen to the Pastor teach you thing you didn't know, while your kids are in the nursery or children's church! This little break from your children does you so much good, you will never know, plus your children will learn things that will bless you throughout the week! And don't fret dad, most churches today have an 8:45 am service just for the Football lovers like you and me! (Yeah, I love football too! lol).
When we get rid of all of our sin, and live in total obedience to Christ? The power of God will be evident in our hearts and then we will start to feel it surrounding us, protecting us, and then you will feel the Holy Spirit always there reminding us that we have sinned so we can say a quick, "Oops, Lord, I'm sorry." Sin puts up a wall between us and God and it feels just AWFUL! The only way to tear down the wall is to admit immediately that you have sinned and ask for forgiveness. Trust me, it's the only way to live. The joy that springs forth from full obedience to God? It's an unspeakable joy that is just so hard to describe, that I won't even try. But believe me, even though it can be hard to give up the sin? It's even easier after we do! God blesses us for giving it up - and giving our all to Him. Our job situations improve, as do our relationships and we are just happier people! Don't you want to be happier? Just remember, "Can't never did anything." Just remember to watch your attitude, cause you can bum God out just by having a bad one!
So, "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." (Romans 12:2).
God bless you all today. Get up and go to church, have a marvelous time worshiping the Lord and listen, learn and apply what you've learned to your life! God will reward us just for giving Him our time and trying to become more like His son, Jesus!
The last few days I have been a bit remiss in posting, so I apologize to anyone who comes here for solace day to day hoping to find a word of comfort that results in hope and peace as that is my commitment to God and to you, to try to shine the light into a dark and lonely world.
Sometimes though? You're own darkened world can have an affect on what God needs you to do for Him, and the last few days have been quite the struggle for me.
The loneliness, the doubt, the shadows of the past, yeah,the devil's been doin a number on me, but I will get through it. With the Grace of God and with the strength that abides in me through Christ, who gives me strength to face that darkness everyday, (Phil 4:13), I know that the courage and the boldness of heart within me, to share my own struggles in this life with complete strangers like you will always be there, even if at times I need a moment to take an account of what is happening, and deal with it properly.
When I struggle with my own heart, and the loneliness I am feeling, it makes it harder to speak comfort to anyone, much less hear the comforting words of God through His word myself. He is always with me, holding me up and holding my hand, but even that isn't always enough, although it should be. I am so lonesome I could literally break down and cry so instead of tossing it on all of you, I tend to get quiet, pray through it and then get back to my assigned task to bring a little hope, joy and peace to others through the Word of God, and it's strength which pulls us all through the tough times.
I just needed to read God's word and press the "reset" button. You see, I've been messed up for so long, some days I don't know which way is up anymore. There is one person in particular who is hurting me a lot, and while I would like to walk away, I keep saying "Well it's better here than it would be any place else, so you're kinda stuck aren't you?"
Ohhhh it's so easy to rationalize things when it's all you've ever known, even when that particular person has been hurting you for years. We just keep taking it and taking it, and then we wind up locked right into where they want us to be. Afraid to walk away. Afraid that nobody else will ever want us. Afraid we won't have enough to live on, and with virtually no family to help, which is true in my case, you just wind up feeling kinda stuck. Right now, I'm locked in a gilded cage and there is, at this present moment, no way, that I can see at this point in time anyway, a way out for me.
So please pray for me, and my heart, that I am not led astray by the devil's deceitful thoughts or the deeds or actions of others and the lies that keep me bound in this cage. I know God has a way out for me, and in my obedience to Him, I await that pathway with patience and grace, still singing like a song bird, but some days are just a little harder than others, and I know some of you can identify with the struggle I speak of.
Please just keep aware, keep safe, and keep looking up. Don't take your eyes off the prize of Jesus, and just like me, you'll make it. We'll all be okay, we just have to give God a chance to work and allow ourselves to "be still, and know that He is God." (Psalm 46:10).
