A Prayer for The Fool

Dear Heavenly Father, I bring you a special request tonight.  A prayer for a fool who can't see the right thing to do.  A fool who cheats on their wife/husband.  A fool who spends their family's money unwisely, being selfish, purchasing only for self, rather than the needs of family, much like our government, spending more money than there is in the bank.  I pray for the fool who looks to government as the answer to their problems when government is the problem.

I pray for the fool who sees the truth and calls it lies.  I pray for the fool who waxes wise on others, yet in his or her own actions is seen by others as the fools they are, leaving them looking like the Emperor in his new clothes.  A complete sham of a person, void of conscience, full of calamity and disgrace.

I pray for the fools.  I pray for the idolaters.  I pray for those who put themselves before others and before God.  I pray for those who have to deal with them every day, their husband, their wife, their bosses, their children, their neighbors and their friends, even their Pastor at church who simply does not know what to say to snap them out of their foolishness and ignorant ways.

We see what we want to see.  We do what we want to do.  We listen to what and who we want to listen to, and by selective hearing, leave out what will help us the most.  The truth.  The truth about honor, love, integrity, character and most importantly, Godliness.

There is only one man I know of that I can truly say was NEVER a fool.  I never got to meet him, but I feel I have met him through a few books I have read, one in particular written from his own journals.  He led his men through the "gates of hell" at Valley Forge in the Revolutionary War and was the only man in the United States to ever be unanimously elected as President, and then the first and only President to run for re-election unopposed by a challenger for his office.  When asked to serve as President, even though he was tired and asked the question, "haven't I done enough for my country?"  he continued to serve, taking the highest seat of governance in our Country.  He was a man of impeccable integrity, strength, character, humility and Godly wisdom.

As our First President, he is most frequently referred to as the "Father of our Country," and yet never fathered one child of his own, although he married a widow and did have 2 step children.  When I was just 18, another George Washington type was elected as our country's President.  Maybe not a full on version, but Ronald Wilson Reagan was no man's fool either.  I came to love him like a father, thinking if George was the "Father of our Country" doesn't that make every man who is ever standing in that office the father of his country's current generation? I didn't want to elect him, but I learned to love him, and cried like a baby for days when he passed away in June 2004.  Because of what he taught me, I was able with time to heal my relationship with my own dad who is now 81.  I greatly love and respect him because, even if he made mistakes early in life as many of us do, he is no man's fool either, and though he tried to teach me how not to be foolish when I was younger, I was spoiled, indignant and stupid in my younger years, choosing not to listen.  It took a long time to understand the things he tried to teach me and not until this current administration did I realize how wrong it is to spend more than you have in the bank as you live paycheck to paycheck, or tax day to tax day, never saving for a rainy day.

I made a lot of foolish mistakes, some that I dearly wish I could take back, but cannot.  I see a government now making the same types of mistakes, only on a much grander scale to the tune of 16 trillion dollars of debt.  Thankfully, my children are smart, although a few of them could use a few Reaganomics lessons from Art Laffer, they all work, are productive and none of them take a Government check, except for one.  My oldest son, who is a member of the United States Army and is a 3 tour veteran of both Iraq and Afghanistan.  A true war hero, and if you ask me?  They don't pay him nearly enough!

Lord, I pray for myself, and those around me.  I pray for my children, my parents, my countrymen, my neighbor's, my local business owners and my Pastor, who has to deal with all of us fools on so many occasions.  I pray for all of us, that on the 2nd Tuesday in November, we will all #1 = vote.  #2 = vote our conscience but most of all and most importantly, #3 = be wise about our choices.  Our country depends upon it, for we are most assuredly running out of time. 

Most importantly God, please bless us all with courage, conviction, wisdom and above all else, love for one another and may you also please continue to bless the United States of America!

    "If we ever forget we are One Nation Under God,  we will be a Nation gone under."   Ronald Wilson Reagan, 40th President of the United States.

For Our Wounded Warriors

This post is being written specifically for you warriors who have come home from Iraq and Afghanistan and I want to let you know that as the mother of a 3 tour veteran, I will be here for you boys and you young ladies if you need someone to talk to.

For you Soldier's who feel forgotten, after serving your country, being physically healed, but maybe not healed in  your heart, I may not be able to say that I know what you're going through but I am a great listener and I am here if you ever need to talk?  I have a son who needs counseling who is too proud to admit he needs to talk about it. Stubborn, just like his mom.  I know that there are scars that are invisible, but they are there.  He made it through three tours, pretty much physically unscathed, but I worry about him emotionally as I do all of you.  It's a burden God has placed on my heart, and I decided it was time to make sure you all knew that I am here for all of you!

I worry about all of our men and women in uniform, and hope and pray for their safety every day, but I especially pray for those of you who have made it home, some wounded, giving up much more for your country than others,  but all the same, you went, willing to give your life when you left, something that not a lot of young men or women were willing to do.

Perhaps now you have gotten through the battle of surgery and the battle scars  you carry are deep, even though you are pretty much able to get through the day.  Perhaps you even lost a limb and fought hard to make it through physical therapy, psychological counseling,  prosthetic fittings and all those things that go along with it, but now you may feel alone, still needing therapy for your heart.

Sometimes talking to a stranger can be easier, so if you need "a 2nd mom," I'm here for you boys and you young ladies, ok?  You can say anything you want, I won't judge you, your tour is over, you are maybe out of the military now, and nobody expects you to continue to be "polite" about what you have gone thru, so you can scream, yell, blow up - anything and it will never leave my lips to anyone, nor my heart of prayer for you.

I love all of you like you were my own, since one of my own is one of you.  My boy was Infantry "HUA" and I love talking and emailing with you all, and I answer all emails, and prayer requests with a fervent commitment, you can call it my "Prayer Ethos" if you will.  But I am here, waiting, any time of day or night, no matter how bad my day was physically with my spinal problems, or emotionally with my other problems, it helps me to help you, so call. I mean, that's what mother's are for right?  And sometimes, its easier to talk to your 2nd mom than it is your own?  I'll be that 2nd mom, if you need one. 

I am prepared to serve my country.  I may be going on 50, but I have a son who is one of  you, which makes you all my children, and every time I hear of one of you being lost?  I feel like I have lost my own son.  I have a "Prayer Ethos," that matches the "Warrior Ethos," in commitment, honor, loyalty and grace from God above.  I learned a lot from my son, the bravery, the sacrifice, the loyalty, the "never give in, never quit, never say never," of it all that you have all gone through, so if any of you needs me?  I am here for you.  The phone line is always open, as is my Twitter account, my Yahoo Messenger and my email.  Feel free to call anytime, even in the middle of the night, I will get up and answer the call of duty, no matter how late ok?

I just wanted to let you all know you that you are all in my heart and almost always on my mind and I will continue to pray for you all with the same fervent passion that caused you to give what you gave for our Country.  That is something rare, and with it comes a sacrifice, a sacrifice that for some, is painfully permanent.

For those families who have lost a loved one, as a Blue Star Mother, I am here for all of you as well.  If you lost a son, a brother, a sister, it doesn't matter, because we are all family, and I love and pray for you all so you are all welcome to call, email, etc., as well.

God Bless our Servicemen and Women, keep them safe Lord and please God, Bless the United States of America.

"Greater love hath no man than this; that he lay down his life for his friends."  (John 15:13).

In Pain, but I am Still Alive

I honestly don't know which is worse.  Emotional pain or physical pain.  I guess when you are suffering through both at the same time, it's probably harder to measure one or the other.  Thank you Jesus, that by your stripes we are healed. 

"Surely He hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem Him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.  But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and by His stripes we are healed."  (Isaiah 53:4-5).

Give me peace and strength O God.  Give me victory over my pain, both physical and emotional, for it feels as if two swords are striking me down at once.  It is as if I can no longer stand, so I know that your Son, my Savior Jesus is holding me up as we fight the devil and his minions together.  I know I am never alone, for thou art with me, so I shall fear no evil (Psalm 23).  As the devil tries to kill my spirit, the Holy Spirit fills me up, for "whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."  (John 4:4).

My marriage has failed.  No matter how hard I have tried to follow what the Lord has told me, it is over.  4 children, 27 yrs this October 27th, and we've been separated for 10 years with no end in sight.  My medical situation could require spinal surgery.  Yay.  Can't wait. lol.  But I won't let the devil grip me with fear, despair, discouragement or feelings of abandonment.  Not one person could visit me, and Jesus would be there the whole time, so I would never be alone.  Take that devil.  How do you like them "apples."  

Thank You Abba/Daddy, I cling to you for rest, for relief from my pain and for help getting through tomorrow.  Help me Lord.   I just want to be obedient to You and please, not my will, but yours for my life?  I will do whatever you require of me.  Even if it means more suffering.  As long as I might hear Your voice.  

I love you Lord.  I will love you forever.  Thank you for my life, the good, the bad, the horrible, the future glory to come when you bring your Bride home.  I will always be yours.
 

Are you Called to be a Watcher?

Ever since late April, God has been reaching out to me - in fact, when I speak with Him, it's more like "Praying without Ceasing!"  (1 Thessalonians 5:17).  I am hearing about the times we live in, and the things that are coming - I read my bible, I watch biblical TV on iTunes all day long because I just can't get enough of GOD or His Word!

There has to be a reason for that and I believe it is because I have been called.  Most of the posts on this blog have been about Jesus returning soon!  There was one post I wrote in particular, "Romancing the Bride,"   well that one just kind of says it all about the journey I have been on since late April and the things the Lord has been whispering to me in secret!

Please pray before you watch this video from Hal Lindsey and may God Bless you all with His peace, grace and knowledge so that you might understand and know the lateness of the hour, and have the boldness to share it with others who may be dying in sin.

Keep planting seeds, for they will be watered very quickly through the Holy Spirit and your rewards in Heaven shall be great!  God Bless you as you watch.  

Be still and know that He is God!  (Psalm 46:10). 

Oh Lord, How I Need You!

All of us are hurting in some way or another.  My hurt is physical and emotional.  For the last five years I have suffered in chronic pain and chronic fatigue.  I also suffer through severe panic, loneliness and a feeling of just being lost, unworthy & worthless.

One Dr. says it's a spinal issue.  Two others say it's fibromyalgia.  Honestly, at times I feel so lost, I just don't know what to think.   All I know is that God is Jehovah Rophi, Our Great Healer, so I know that no matter how much pain I must endure, He will always be there going through it with me!  I'm much too young to feel this darned old, so I know it can't be over!  A little surgery and I might be just fine!  Who knows, so why bother worrying about what I have no control over right?  That's tomorrow's problems (Matthew 6:34).  I believe with all that is within me that it's not over yet!  My best years are yet to come!  The devil can do what he likes, but he'll never steal my mind from me.  This is why I am so grateful for the Holy Spirit who dwells within all believers and gives all of us the power to get through everything the devil can hurl at us!  "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!" (Philippians 4:13).

Some of you have lost your faith, your health, a loved one.  Maybe some of you just lost that 2nd family paycheck that was keeping you going and now it seems like foreclosure is looming like a monster in your dreams, thus causing utter despair as you think about having to move, your children losing their schools, their friends...maybe losing your own friends in the neighborhood you have come to love so much.

Just remember this:  God see's you.  He hears you.  He knows your pain, your trouble and your circumstances and He wants to help you.  He is already working upon your behalf, and you are going to see miracles in the future, as never before, as long as  you fully trust Him!  First, you must believe, and then even through the blinding pain of our lives, no matter what kind of pain it is, confess your sin to Him.  Then?  I dare you - turn on the news or pick up a newspaper and when you read about the pile up that killed several people including two children the same age as your own?  Then it will hit you.  It's not a house or a job that matters, it's what's in them that matters.  Here one minute, gone the next?  Seems harsh, but still, I dare you to think of their families vs. what it is you are going through. Then, here's the big one.  Start to pray for their family, their friends....their pain!  Because while you may be going through a very painful set back, your pain is temporary while their pain is very PERMANENT and it cannot be undone.

So whether your pain is emotional, physical, temporary or permanent, God is always there, right in the midst, even in the tragedy we see around us, just remember, He is the God of Heaven, not of this world!  That belongs to the evil one, so it's the devil you can place your blame on when things go bad, not God!  The Lord always wants what is best for us, but sometimes. our children will make choices that deeply disappoint us, but they are always loved by us aren't they?  Well, God works exactly the same way!  He ministers to us directly through the Holy Spirit, even when we make a really big mistake, He is willing to forgive.  (1 John 1:19).

So look up, ask the Lord's forgiveness and then praise God for every hangnail you go through,  no matter how painful, and His mercy and grace will seem to have no end in your life!  When we have faith, He grants us the benefit of His constant presence, which you will feel like your best friend is standing right there and He will show you very clearly what His good, pleasing and perfect will for your life truly is!  (Romans 12:2). 

"Humble yourselves therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time." (1 Peter 5:6).

God knows I put up a brave front most of the time, just trying to live as best I can for Him so that I might be a blessing to others through what I write here, but when I was so lost, He actually left the entire flock...just to come and rescue me!   You see, our adversary the devil, "roars about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour," (1 Peter 5:8), but the Holy Spirit will protect you!  So don't be swallowed up by the evil's around you, chose the "good portion," and sit at Our Master's Feet instead!  (Luke 10:40-42).  

Just stay brave, have faith in God and no matter what hold on tight to the one that parted the Red Sea, caused the walls of Jericho to fall with a bit of marching and a great shout and held back the waters of the Jordan River so that the Ark of the Covenant could cross on dry land!  Pray for His will for your life.  Ask Him to show it to you and I guarantee you......

He most certainly WILL!

More than Conquerors for We Are Never Alone!

If you are a saved believer or are a believer who has lost your way, come back and conquer that in your life which you have yet to conquer!  Jesus is still there, waiting for you to finish what you and He started together!  He's never left us, we're the ones who always leave Him!

So what is it that makes us Conquerors?  Jesus already conquered sin and death by his death on the cross and His resurrection from the dead.  But some of us need a little "resurrecting" ourselves, don't you think?  He conquered sin and gave us a way to communicate with our Father in Heaven by giving Himself for us, so that we would always have a a way to be with Him!  Even here in this room as I write this post, He is with me.  I can actually feel His presence as I type, for He is the one who gives me the words and He wants you to come Home!  It is time to put away the foolish and live wisely for the days are short!

Sometimes I wonder what it is that made any of us worthy of God coming to earth in Human Form, to live with us, get to know us, to die for us?  What made us worthy of that?  Seems I struggle with that question a lot.  With all the sin I have committed during my life I cannot help but wonder what in the world we could have done that made us worthy of what He did for us, but then with Jesus?  Everything is just so very simple.

It was His love.  Yeah.  Love.  Love for his Creation. He was met by Satan at the top of a mountain and tempted with all the Kingdoms of this world that would ever exist...all He had to do was bow down and worship at the devil's feet, but the cost would have been too great!  The cost would have been us!  He could have bowed down and in doing so, passed that bitter cup of the Cross, but He didn't!  He went through with it anyway, because He knew without Him, there would be no hope for us.  And Jesus, above all, wanted us to know that He loved us and in His death for us, He prayed it would give us all an everlasting HOPE that in Him, we would never die!  (John 3:16).

Well....do you Hope much?  For your day?  Life?  A family member to recover from an illness...without Christ's death on the cross, every bit of hope we have in life would've never existed!  He gave it to us when He gave Himself for us on the Cross at Calvary!  He died so that we might live and live forever.  Therein, lies the HOPE we were given at the Cross and should all have as believers.  It is that same hope that we pass on to non believers who come into the family through FAITH in Jesus death, burial and resurrection from the dead.

That makes us more than CONQUERORS it makes us FOREVER VICTORIOUS!  Even the smallest of victories like getting that neighbor you've been waving at for four months to finally wave back and smile at you simply for your tenacity and that you NEVER GAVE UP????  Yeah, even in those kind of victories, GOD IS THERE!  He didn't make us a bunch of WIMPS he made us STRONGER THAN STEEDS!  And even though He made us as strong as could be, when the road is rocky, and we need help, He is always there. We are never alone! (I know, because sometimes, even when I want Him to, He won't leave me alone!  Yikes Lord!  ah...your gentle touch..how could I possibly complain?  I love you so much Jesus!). 

Have hope.  Have faith.  But above all...have lots and lots of LOVE!  For it is the only thing that will last and never ever forget, you are never going to be without a best friend, for that is what He is to me.  My best friend.  Sometimes?  My only friend.  And I love Him very deeply, and I am falling for Him, more and more each day.  

You should give Him a call.  I hear a lot of people call on Him for his loving friendship all the time!  They are happier people for doing so.  Coming into full obedience to Him is like a Freedom undefinable.  You fear you will lose something?  Ohhhh you don't know what you're missing...for it is what you GAIN from that obedience that is so amazingly awesome!

Love God.  Give Him yourself completely, for He has never left your side since the moment you first took a breath, which he breathed into your lungs Himself when you were born, which to me proves, we have never been alone!

The God Particle

Last month scientists working at the CERN Laboratories in Geneva, Switzerland, explained that they had discovered what they believe is the "Higgs/Boson" or "The God Particle."  The particle's existence explains why matter has mass!   

Take a look at this video by Hal Lindsey from 8/3/2012!  You'll be so glad you did!  Especially if you are a Christian or have any interest in science! Knowledge is increasing at an almost alarming pace, so it is my hope that soon more and more people will want to understand the Bible, what it means, who Jesus is, and by their interest wind up getting saved!  The Revival Has Begun!  TIME TO WAKE UP CHRISTIANS!  DO YOU NOT HEAR THE ALARM CLOCK?  Well maybe this video will WAKE YOU UP!

Have you ever seen a picture of Jesus carrying the earth on his shoulder?  Is it possible that the person who came up with that picture/poster was prophetic in nature?  Someone who believed in "Creationism," something we have been trying so hard to have taught in our schools?  Please - just watch.  You might understand just a little bit more about the earth and how every atom in the universe is what is holding us all together and that INDEED Jesus, as Creator of all, is holding us all together?  (John 1:1 - Genesis 1:1 - Colossians 1:15-17 - Hebrews 11:3).

God Bless you as you watch this and may God give you not just the ability to understand what he is talking about here but a renewal and a desire to serve Him like never before as well!

A Moment of Prayer

Forgive me Jesus for every time I take my eyes off of you?  Because every time I do, bad things begin to happen in my life.  From a driver who cuts me off and ruins my day, to a small argument with one of my children, or that old sinking feeling I always get when there is a wall between us.  I love you so much, and You know me so well, You know I wouldn't do those things on purpose, that it's just my human nature, my flesh, coming out, that part of me I thought I had crucified, that was dead and buried, but keeps popping back up every now and again, causing problems, wreaking havoc in my life.

Please Lord, have your way in me?  All I want is You!  I am prepared to do whatever it is you need of me Lord, whatever that may be. Help me to remember that obedience has rewards, I've seen them for myself so I know that it's true.  Help me to sacrifice even the things I really need so that I may be able to give more to your Church.  Lord, you have just been so good to me that I really want to do more for you and if given the opportunity, I will, you know I will Lord.

Finally, please help me to crucify this flesh that keeps getting me into that place where I can't see you or hear you?  Get myself out of the way so that I might be more like you and do what it is You would have me do?  Please forgive me for being less than you expect of me and for not trying harder, for not listening, or heeding Your voice or heeding your Word.  I know I will have to give account for my actions someday.

Help me get free.  I need You Holy Father.  Break the chains and set me free.

Calvary's Cross In Us All

Thank you Father for showing me what you needed me to see a few weeks ago about the difference between bare wood and beautifully stained finished wood, and how the devil uses what is pretty and "finished" to deceive us into moving away from the amazing "rare raw wood" that is not yet finished, but just barely beginning the process of being truly finished by Your own hands into what You mean for that piece of wood to become.  There are smaller separate pieces, those humble little pieces of wood from the Cross of Calvary within all of those who believe, who are waiting for Your hand to work in us,  "finishing" us into that beautiful piece of wood that you intend for us to be!  For, "He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it until the day of Christ Jesus."  (Philippians 1:6). 

O Lord, you are changing me in such a way that I can hardly grasp it.  For "such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.  Where can I go from your Spirit?  Where can I flee from your presence? (Psalm 139:6-7).  The humility...the grace.. the honesty, the admonishment followed by love, laughter and joy.  This little church you have led me to has changed me so greatly, for You are there!  Your spirit floats above us all so gently as we sing hymns to You, giving You praise and all the Glory for the victories in our lives, as well as the sorrows.

You are giving me the kind of friends I wanted all of my life but never had.  You are giving me so much, and my heart is just bursting and overflowing with the joy brought on by your grace that is rushing through me!  "Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him." (John 7:38).  I praise You O God for calling me into submission to your will for my life making me into a new creature, an almost finished piece of the Cross of Christ!  Cleansed in the blood of the Lamb, yet now white as snow, glowing with that joy of commitment I have so deep in my heart, that place reserved just for you and no other Lord Jesus!

How do I ever thank you for your love, your grace..your ever increasing goodness to me?  I am so undeserving, and yet you stay, you teach, you mold, you shape, you love, even when I act foolishly, you turn the devils ways around on him, to complete your task, changing me, filling me with love, joy, peace, understanding, the fruits of the spirit I have never been able to attain!  I will forever worship you Jesus, oh, I am so in love with you Lord....I never want to leave you, or stop conversing with you, day and night, talking with you like you are right here, my best friend, even though I am so alone, you never leave me.  You carry me when I am sick, low, down...you walk beside me when I am rich in your wisdom and your grace that falls upon me like a bountiful waterfall, destined to fill your emptied vessel in order to spill over into the lives of others!

I give You all of my praise O Lord! For Your ways are so marvelous!  How can my praises ever cease?  They cannot, for You are endless, timeless, and soon, so shall all believers be.  Forever with you, never to be parted ever again.  Thank you Lord, for your blessings, for the new friendships that are so solid already, built on misunderstandings that Satan wanted to use to destroy us, and yet, because we love one another, the misunderstandings are just that, and nothing more, causing a strength, an amalgamation to take place...something that no foe can ever tear apart!

Thank you Abba Daddy for your love for us, for your blessings which are going to flow over us like a flood of grace...I can feel it coming Lord.  Thank you for the practicality, the simplicity, the way we all love You.

Thank you Precious Savior.  Oh, I need thee every hour, every hour I need thee, and you are there and you are Holy!  You are Holy Lord!  You are taking my sorrows one by one, and turning them into precious jewels of wisdom, knowledge and unspeakable joy.  Thank you Father for making me part of something so amazing that I can't sleep at night thinking of what is to come in the future, rather than what lies behind me.  (Philippians 3:13).

This is not the end.  This is just the beginning of your plan for my life.  For love, peace, joy, strength, all of the unspeakable promises you have given us!  All we must do is claim them out loud!  Speak them to the air as if they already exist!  (Romans 4:17-18).

You leave me in stunned amazement that leaves me empty of self, and full of contentment.  I love you Lord, and I will praise you forever, in good times and bad.  In fullness and famine, I will praise you.  In abundance and in want, I will praise you.  I praise you Oh God, how I praise you and yet that will never be enough to speak the unspeakable, I am so unable to describe You, for you are everything, and yet I am nothing without you Jesus...your faithfulness is amazing to me....your righteousness falls over my shoulders like a beautiful robe, even when I am so undeserving Lord!  I love you Jesus.  Thank you for being my best friend.  Amen.

Victory over This Present Darkness

22 years ago, on March 12th, our oldest daughter, only 18 months old at the time, was diagnosed with cancer.  It was stage 3 and very scary and even after removal of the initial tumor, she relapsed 6 months later, almost causing our little family to lose her 3 times.  Problem was, the wonderful Doctor's and Nurses at Children's Hospital of Oakland, CA., refused to give up and she is now 24, and is about to start her 2nd semester at a bay area college!

Shortly after our arrival at Children's, I found out about a 7 yr  old boy whose parents couldn't handle the process of losing their son.  I told this woman who had ministered to us in the days preceding our daughter's surgery, that there wasn't anything they could do to "keep me away," and she said, "yes, but that is because you have faith."

She explained that his parents didn't know Jesus and his disease, being terminal had them all ripped up inside.  She said he had nurses at home to deal with him because they could barely stand to watch their once vibrant 7 yr old son slipping away from them, too afraid of the process that was stealing him away.

I remember this one night when an entire team of paramedics and nurses wheeled him from the elevator to the 5th floor isolation unit, complete with gloves, masks and a warning system, having nurses tell everyone to stay in their rooms until they were told they could come out. This process was very common and happened with our own daughter at least twice, although we had transported her ourselves.  Very frightening times.

It didn't dawn on me what was happening until I saw his almost lifeless body being wheeled past our room, where I began to say a prayer for him and his parents who didn't seem to be anywhere around.  As tears came down my face in silence, realizing they were no where to be seen, I began to pray for them in a very deep way.

The nurses attending to him doing their jobs, so excellently, one of them with tears in her eyes; you could just see how much they loved this little boy.  I assumed it was because they thought "this was it," and well, I'm no doctor, but it did not look good. I could feel the emotion through the glass!

The amazing thing?  4-5 days later, that little boy went home!  The pink had returned to his cheeks, and even with the cap to hide his baldness, he was smiling and teasing the nurses.  I was STUNNED!   I would walk the halls with my daughter, and one time, we looked in the window and saw him playing games with the nurses and he always had such a beautiful little smile on his face, seemingly oblivious to what was happening to him.  Once we stopped and waved through the window to him and his smile lit up the room. Those nurses on the 5th floor?  Their love for this little boy just kept bringing him back from the brink of death over and over again.

As he was leaving, I asked what it was that made him look so much better.  Our nurse said they hadn't really done anything but show him love and give him a transfusion of some sort, but she also confided that he shouldn't have made it.  Personally, I believe it was the love of the nurses that brought him back.  (Sometimes God just has other plans)?  Those nurses had literally "loved him back to life."  Sadly, his parents were never around to see it!

You see, I think God was trying to give that sweet precious little boys parents a 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th chance to BELIEVE IN JESUS!  You see, sometimes when God see's a change in our hearts,  He rewards it.   He may have snatched that child out of the clutches of Satan who is the ruler of this world, of course only if it had been His will,  "But if our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are lost." (2 Corinthians 4:3).  When we do believe, all kinds of wonderful things can happen!  My daughter was given at one point a 30/70 chance of survival?  But we got lucky and I praise God for every day she is with us!

I wasn't there when that little boy passed away, but he didn't last much longer.  According to what I heard from the grapevine, he passed away peacefully, which I was very grateful for.  I don't think I will ever forget his smile.  I have always wondered what happened to his parents.  I hope they had another child and realized the great gift that life is, and that eternal life is the best life that God can offer us, all He requires is our faith in Him and His son Jesus.  If they did?  I know their son is smiling down on them right now!

Please don't let this life and it's travails, sufferings, hurt, etc., cause you to turn your back on the Father?   "Cast all of your cares upon Him, for He cares for you!" (1 Peter 5:7).

This post is dedicated to all of the children who have gone home to be with God and to those that are still fighting with the bent of a Lion who will beat their illness, but especially to those, like my wonderful, magnificent daughter, who have fought against their horrible illnesses and won!  I also would like to dedicate this post to all of the Dr.'s and Nurses all over this country who give themselves tirelessly in their efforts to save the lives of the smallest and most vulnerable among us.  

Here is my daughter with her hero's!  Dr. James Feusner who put together her "Kitchen Sink" protocols as I liked to refer to them and her Clinician, Dr. Barbara Beach. This post is especially dedicated to them both, as well as to Dr. Patricia Bishop who did my daughter's surgeries.  You are all Hero's as are all of the nurses and staff in the Hematology/Oncology Clinic as well as the 5th floor Oncology Wing at Children's Hospital in Oakland, California.  Keep up the good work gang!  And thank you all once again, for saving our little "Kitty."

 

The Choice

We all have choices to make based on how we were brought up, but it is still painful when you have memories from childhood that make you feel worthless, painfully unimportant, and worse.  Invisible.  Without a beacon of hope like the Lord, we become the most miserable people on the planet,  Negative, constantly beating down on ourselves "Why can't I be like _______?" sometimes, we are rude if not down right nasty to others, not really meaning to, not understanding what has gotten into us, and then some just don't care at all, losing all hope that humanity even gives a rats tail about us at all.   I lost hope.  Plenty of times.  Just as recently as this last weekend.  I've always wanted a way out, searching for where I fit, but I've never found it.  I might not find it until I hear the trumpet blow and hear Christ say, "Come Up Hither."

Faith in Jesus Christ helps us make the right decisions because we have an "inward teacher," called the "Holy Spirit," who helps us catch ourselves before we sin!  That way we can acknowledge it immediately, (no harm, no foul), and we are then still in right standing with God, even if our parents aren't in right standing with the Lord and still treating us like we are inconvenient, which is very confusing at times, but the older you get, the harder it gets to "make the choice," to be a good person, or just let life seem like an endless pit of sorrow.  You will figure it out in time but my prayer for all who read this blog will find Christ and His forgiveness rather than the condemnation that is to come very shortly upon this earth, whether you be an adult or a teenager, I pray for your salvation each day fervently, like someone who is running out of time, because I am.

Have you heard that saying "Failure is not an option?"  Well failure is what happened I don't know how many times before Henry Ford built the Model T!  How many times did Orville and Wilbur Wright try to make an airplane fly?  How many times did it take to make sure a rocket would catapult a space craft into orbit so it could orbit the entire planet with a monkey at the controls to make sure that no harm came to the monkey before we actually sent men up in those modules to land on the moon?  How many times did it take for the Dr. who came up with "Coca Cola" to perfect the taste of the soft drink?  How many times do you think God will let us keep trying?  If you are saved the number would be endless for "He who began a good work in you is faithful to complete it until the day of Christ Jesus." (Philippians 1:6).

If at first you don't succeed?  Try, Try, Try, Try, Try...This is called stick-t0-it-ness!  The Bible is the key that will help you put on the full armor of God and be ready to stand on that day and fight the devil and his demons who will use just one crack in your armor to get a foothold in your life.  (Ephesians 6:11). 

So why when people become Christians do they go back to their old way of life so quickly?  Is it because they are bored?  Or could it be the people around them telling them things like, "What?  You actually go to church?"  As they walk away laughing.....you know what I'm talking about.  If you have friends talking behind your back because you decided to go to church, they probably aren't really your friends anyway, now are they?

Jesus said we would be persecuted for his name.  When discussing the end of days He said, "But before all this, they will lay hands on you and persecute you. They will deliver you to synagogues and prisons, and you will be brought before kings and governors, and all on account of my name."  (Luke 21:12).

If you are watching the news about what is happening in Syria?  That is where Damascus is, and they just found a mass weapons cache, full of the biological weapons that everyone made fun of George W. Bush for not finding in Iraq .  I believe Assad will use it on his own people.  In the Book of Isaiah, it says "A Message concerning Damascus: "Watch this: Damascus undone as a city, a pile of dust and rubble!  Her towns emptied of people. The sheep and goats will move in and take over the towns  as if they owned them—which they will!  Not a sign of a fort is left in Ephraim, not a trace of government left in Damascus."  (Isaiah 17:1-3).  Then in Vs. 14 "At bedtime, terror fills the air.  By morning it's gone—not a sign of it anywhere!"  Damascus is the Capital of Syria and with the way things are going over there?  Well, you be the judge, you pray about it, you humble yourselves and pray, for the day of judgment upon this earth is coming, and I would suggest if you don't know Jesus?  Give me a call.  I'd love to help you know that you are saved, and going to Heaven instead of to hell!  (And yes, Hell is a very real place as told in this story:)

"At his gate was laid a beggar named Lazarus, covered with sores and longing to eat what fell from the rich man’s table. Even the dogs came and licked his sores.  The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham’s side. The rich man also died and was buried. In hell, where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Abraham far away, with Lazarus by his side. So he called to him, ‘Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.’ But Abraham replied, ‘Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony. And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us."

“He answered, ‘Then I beg you, father, send Lazarus to my father’s house, for I have five brothers. Let him warn them, so that they will not also come to this place of torment.’  “Abraham replied, ‘They have Moses and the Prophets; let them listen to them. ‘No, father Abraham,’ he said, ‘but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.’ He said to him, ‘If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead."  (Luke 16:20-31).

Please, make a decision for Christ?  Don't be caught in Hell with the rich man who refused to pay attention to those around him who were suffering and then paid the ultimate "for all time" price?  All you have to do is reach out to the Lord, close your eyes, and say this prayer, "Father God, thank you for your son Jesus who took my sins upon himself on the cross of Calvary.  Please Lord, forgive me for my sins, breathe new life into me by the Holy Spirit who will comfort me day and night until that day when you take us all home.  Please Lord, I need you.  I want to be your child and not a child of this world any longer.  In Jesus Name, Amen."

Cassie Bernall was at Columbine High School when two gunman ran into the cafeteria that day all those years ago.  They asked her, with the barrel of a gun at her head, "Do you believe in Jesus Christ?"  When she said yes, they pulled the trigger, killing her instantly.  I honestly have no doubt in my mind that before the bullet hit her skull, she was already dressed in white before the throne of God, martyred for His sake.

This is your time.  What decision will you make?   

A Prayer Request

I am living in darkness, confusion and a great deal of physical pain due to fibromyalgia.  My prayer request somehow got passed over at church tonight and while I'm sure it was an honest mistake, I am the only one saying any at the moment and I could use a few more because it's excruciating!  It started half way through tonight's service.  It seems there are a lot of people who just don't understand this disease, the symptoms, the horrific things that come with it, it's not just one disease, it's a combination of several!  Sounds fun don't it?  

I've been praying for relief for five years and nothing the doctors have tried has worked.  There are just some days I feel like I don't know how much more I can take.  The emotional issues with my ex are enough, and I have this disease which keeps me tied to him for every thing I have.  It really sucks all the way around.  

I'm sorry Lord I don't mean to complain.  I just feel unwanted as usual, like I have all my life, and nobody seems to want to pray for my problem, and nobody else wants me because of my illness.  I just don't know how much longer I can take this physical, emotional, geesh, everything in my life hurts right now.  Please forgive me Jesus, but I hurt so much, I really just want to come home.  Please just take me home?