In Pain, but I am Still Alive

I honestly don't know which is worse.  Emotional pain or physical pain.  I guess when you are suffering through both at the same time, it's probably harder to measure one or the other.  Thank you Jesus, that by your stripes we are healed. 

"Surely He hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem Him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.  But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and by His stripes we are healed."  (Isaiah 53:4-5).

Give me peace and strength O God.  Give me victory over my pain, both physical and emotional, for it feels as if two swords are striking me down at once.  It is as if I can no longer stand, so I know that your Son, my Savior Jesus is holding me up as we fight the devil and his minions together.  I know I am never alone, for thou art with me, so I shall fear no evil (Psalm 23).  As the devil tries to kill my spirit, the Holy Spirit fills me up, for "whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."  (John 4:4).

My marriage has failed.  No matter how hard I have tried to follow what the Lord has told me, it is over.  4 children, 27 yrs this October 27th, and we've been separated for 10 years with no end in sight.  My medical situation could require spinal surgery.  Yay.  Can't wait. lol.  But I won't let the devil grip me with fear, despair, discouragement or feelings of abandonment.  Not one person could visit me, and Jesus would be there the whole time, so I would never be alone.  Take that devil.  How do you like them "apples."  

Thank You Abba/Daddy, I cling to you for rest, for relief from my pain and for help getting through tomorrow.  Help me Lord.   I just want to be obedient to You and please, not my will, but yours for my life?  I will do whatever you require of me.  Even if it means more suffering.  As long as I might hear Your voice.  

I love you Lord.  I will love you forever.  Thank you for my life, the good, the bad, the horrible, the future glory to come when you bring your Bride home.  I will always be yours.