Persecution and The Family

In the Gospels, Jesus told the disciples, "Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. A man's enemies will be the members of his own household." (Matthew 10:34-36). 

I now have the distinct pleasure of being hated by my entire family for Jesus sake. I believe my faith get's in their way? It's something I believe, so they get convicted? My husband cheats on me with another woman right here, under the roof where we raised our children and he does it WHEN I'M HOME! The kids have been ignoring me for years, and I know that's normal but to not receive so much as a text to wish me a Happy Birthday, Merry Christmas, Happy Easter, or a Mother's day card, text, flowers? I just get a "whole lot of nuthin."

Yeah, that one hits you hard. A knife in the heart, twisted, in unison, by your husband and all of your children. I ALWAYS called my mom on her birthday, Christmas and Thanksgiving and I certainly never forgot her on Mother's Day and she was a complete witch! I expect one or two to forget, but not ALL FOUR OF THEM!

I'm beginning to believe that I will be completely healed by God so that He can use me for His Kingdom! I've been writing this blog since April 2012 when He "tapped me on the shoulder," to remind me that He is there and in control. Ever since then, I've had visions, I think differently, and while I've fallen a few times, (well, maybe it's more like a gillion times?), I keep getting up and dusting myself off. It's the only way to make it through the hardest times in life. One thing I constantly keep in mind as the emotional torture continues is this: "This one thing I do, not looking behind, but striving towards what lies ahead." (Philippians 3:13b).

Some say that we are put through trials, tribulation, illness, all the bad stuff, so that God can make us stronger? I feel like that's what I'm going through. I know it sounds weird, but that's how it feels. I realized a long time ago that God was separating the "sheep from the goats" in my family, just as He will do in heaven during the judgment! To those He will say, 'I never knew you." 

So today, even though I'm living a broken life, when God decides to breathe air back into me? Watch out! Cause I'm gonna "break a few heads," but just mentally? I'll make them THINK FOR THEMSELVES! They are all being led astray by evil demonic spirits just like my kids are!

You know, I feel like my life is something between, "SNAFU" (Situation Normal all Fouled Up."), and "FUBAR" (Fouled up Beyond All Recognition."). I feel so abandoned and alone, that my heart is literally beginning to break. There are people out there, especially my entire family, who need to get right with God! I believe what I'm witnessing in my own family, is something the rest of the world, as Christians, are going through as well. I know I'm not the only one.

All I can think of is that God is going to take this broken mess, named ME and turn it into something amazing! I'm grateful for Jesus, for without Him, I would certainly have committed suicide a long time ago. That's how much abuse I have endured since the day I was born! Now I get left alone for days at a time, my best friend hates me because I'm trying to warn her of the time of the end and my kids treat me like I don't exist. Kinda makes you feel like a pile of inconvenient dog poo. 

God bless and have a good day, and if you're going through the same thing? Don't worry. God can restore anything He decides to restore! If you've screwed up, like I did, and they found out and lost all respect for you, just remember this: The only person whose opinion matters is God! No matter what they think you are, you're flawless because Jesus died for you on a Roman cross! But ya know? Family? They're the hardest to please and the hardest to get an "I forgive you" from and it will always be like that. Some are chosen, and some are called, but they all just think I'M CRAZY! 

So, I'm just gonna sit back, ignore them the way they've ignored me (they don't want to talk to me anyway?), and just wait for Jesus to take me and use me for His Kingdom, or just rapture me with the rest of the church and take me to heaven, which is the only place I feel I truly belong.

"When you see these things happening, stand up and lift up your heads, for your redemption is drawing near." (Luke 21:28). 

Thanks for taking time to read this. You are all in my prayers!