Jonah and Me

In late April of this year, I was in a heap on my bed begging God to just remove me from this earth.  I was so lost in my sin, my heart broken in pieces, my physical pain driving me to thoughts of suicide, the devil constantly taunting me that my life was over, and that I was not able to be used by God because of all of my sins.  He would taunt me that "You're a waste of space."  You're this, your that, on and on came the attacks, which left me completely defeated and desperate for a way out of my situation, with no way out to be found.

One day I cried out to God, "I've had enough!"  Have you ever had enough?  Well, God wasn't done with me yet, as witnessed in this blog if you dare to read all of the posts herein, and the process of rebuilding my life began.

It was if he kept speaking and I almost couldn't keep up!  A few months before this great awakening, I was watching the Middle East exploding, and I started to pray "Lord please find me worthy," which is when He came to me to say "Oh no, I'm not done with you yet! (Philippians 1:6). Seeing these things, knowing what I know about Bible prophecy, I knew that these events were the birth pangs Jesus spoke of in Matthew 24, and that the return of Christ for His Bride was very near!

Once I came into full obedience, God's blessings started to flow, pouring over my head like someone dumped a bucket of living rushing water on my head, and it hasn't stopped flowing since.  I know it sounds kind of whacky, but when He came to me that day in late April He told me, "there is no place for a prophet to hide from Me, not even in the belly of a whale."

I recommitted my life at that very moment and now I am in constant conversation with God and I can actually hear Him which would cause most shrinks to commit me to a facility for the insane! (1 Thessalonians 5:7).  At times, going somewhere without my bible seems to be a foreign thought to me, because the Word is where my life stems from and I have a burning desire to lead others to Christ so that they won't be lost. I now cry out to God every day with a very heavy and burdened heart for those that are lost, begging for opportunities to give them hope, and help the Lord to save them, for without Him, I can do nothing. (John 15:5).  I am seeing such an amazing change in my life that I hardly recognize myself anymore!  That is what a wonderful work God is doing in my life!

Once I came into FULL obedience to Christ, living the way He would have lived, speaking the words He might have said I now feel like all that God promised is coming together right before my eyes and I keep speaking of things that don't exist as if they do exist, and then, to my utter awe and amazement the Lord is making them happen!  (Romans 4:17).

I came across this cute little video, and I would like to share it with you.  The Bible talks about how "A child will lead them," (Isaiah 11:6) and this little girl...well, just WOW!  As a former "Jonah," who ran from what God wanted me to do, her telling of the story actually made me break down in tears, God bless her.   Please watch as a child, no more than 7, tells the story of Jonah, and be blessed!  May God bless you all as you watch, and may you stop running from God, for He has a great work He wants to do in you as He is doing in me!
The story of Jonah from
Corinth Baptist Church on Vimeo.

A Moment of Prayer

Thank you Lord Jesus for the joy you have put in my heart since recovering me from certain loss into this world, it's ways, it's beliefs and it's woe's.  Thank you for predestined adoption through your son, Jesus.  (Ephesians 1:5)  Thank you for your constant forgiveness every time I blow it, which is several times a day.  Thank you that the Holy Spirit is there constantly reminding me that "Oops, did it again!"

I am so grateful to be your child, and to know you as my Abba Daddy.  You are the cornerstone that was rejected, but you are the cornerstone of my heart and my life and in all I do, I give tribute to you.  In my trials and my tribulations, you carry me, and in my victories I will give you all the praise!  Thank you God, for your son Jesus, and for giving Him for us so that we may live, and have life to the full! (John 10:10).

There is no way I could ever thank you enough Lord. But I will live every day in such a way as to honor you and you alone.  I will honor you with my words, my actions, my prayers, in all that I do.  My whole being, my soul, my mind, my heart, they all belong to you and you alone.  And even in the midst of my life, full of turmoil and strife, I will continue to trust you for a better tomorrow, and a future full of happiness rather than sorrow, shame and guilt.

I love you Lord.  Your little girl is afraid, but you did not give me a spirit of fear, but of power, love and self control. (1 Timothy 1:7).

I have a grateful heart and a life that is pure, humble and ready to do whatever work you call me to do.

In Jesus Precious Name, Amen. 

The American Dream over Monday Morning Coffee

Here we go, another week about to start!  I hope you will come here first and get a little encouragement to start your week, and remember, don't work too much, keep a good balance!  Without balance, your life will completely fall apart.

Your family needs you Mom/Dad, and you need to remember that while success is wonderful to have, it's not worth losing your family for.

So be thankful for all you have and remember to build the foundation of your lives on the rock of Christ, and not just a hill of sinking sand.  You could start by going to church on Sunday's, reading your bible, and preparing yourselves for the times ahead.  Occupy Wall Street and the unrest that comes with it, is beginning to frighten a lot of people, so don't take your families for granted, and don't let your job dictate your life to you!  The losses you might incur?  Well, it's just not worth it now is it?  Praise God, there is a reset button.  All you have to do is "choose" to press it!

I will be praying for all of you, just as I do every day. I am burdened for you all and what you're going through, even if I don't know what that issue/problem/situation might be, and even though I don't know you, God does, and He knows everything you're going through!  I am trusting Him to work it all out for you!  He can do a great work in your life if you allow Him to control your destiny.

Hope you have a great Monday.  Enjoy your coffee! 

We Need to Be More Like Jesus

Do you feel the power of Christ in you?

It's okay - most people who say they are believers don't.  Some of us have so much going on in our lives, that it's kind of difficult to find time for God and really truly sit down day after day and spend time with Him.

I usually wake up speaking prayers for my day, or hearing scripture in my head, so it's kind of easy.  But I have a couple of secret weapons.  I am crippled by fibromyalgia, which I'm learning to praise God for even when it really hurts, and my children are grown up, and only one of them is still living at home. She's great to have around when I do get to see her, because it makes the empty nest syndrome not so bad, but I barely see her because she's always working.

So here are a few suggestions for those of you who have a hard time finding time to pray, or read God's word because there is so much going on in your daily life.

For instance, perhaps you and your spouse can pick the same chapter to read, and even maybe spend time in the morning reading it together out loud before you need to get moving for your day.  If you don't get a chance to do that, here is another idea:  Mom, you can read it after dropping off the older kids at school and when you get home and nap time comes around,  you can sit down and read that chapter.   And dad, maybe during a lunch break you can find a way to sneak away to read in a quiet place the same chapter your wife is reading at home.  You can read in the morning, but with little ones, it can be kind of hard, so this alternative may be helpful. 

Check on the left hand side of this blog in my "Other Great Site's" list and look for the link for Daily Bible Reading.  It's a great place to start!  You can also try One Year Bible Online! as well, and there are plenty of other sites that will help you to understand God's word, for instance, the Strong's Concordance, can help you find the meaning of words in Hebrew from the Old Testament and Greek from the New Testament!  Some of what you find there will knock your socks off!  (I dare you to use that link and look up one word - "Confirm."  It will blow your mind all the different things in the Greek that just one word can mean!  As believers in Jesus Christ's death on the cross, His resurrection and His ascension to the right hand of the Father in Heaven,  God confirms us as His children!  In fact, God is "confirming" us every day when we study His word, trying to get to know Him, and believe me,  you're efforts will not go unrewarded!  You will begin to see Him working in you, through you, and in the lives of your family as well!  Just make sure to pray before you read the chapter, and then again afterwards asking Him to "enlighten" you as to what it means.   

Then after dad gets home, and you're about to eat dinner, be a good example to your children and say grace.  Thank God for the food, and ask Him to bless it to the nourishment of your bodies, and thank Him for His son Jesus who gave His life so that you might have life. The little ones may not understand quite yet, but they will learn in time what it means.

Then after dinner, play time, bath time, bedtime stories, etc., make time to sit on the couch and look at the chapter together, sharing what you both learned from it.  Since our perceptions are always different, you will wind up learning from each other!  It will make you feel closer, and it will help you through rough times when they come because instead of leaning on the flesh - (each other) - you will both reach out to God first in times of despair.  And when you come into full obedience to God as the Holy Spirit leads you, then the blessing of God will over flow in your life!  To obey is better than sacrifice!  That is what God wants from us more than anything!  Our obedience!  Because then He CAN bless us!  Putting your trust in Him alone will become a blessing that lasts forever in your life if you continue to do so.  Give God His due and believe me things in your life will begin to change.  But remember, you both will have to commit to reading the chapter, and then talking about it - FIND THE TIME!  Or as Air Jordan might say, "JUST DO IT!"

If you are not attending church, find one.  If you don't like that one, keep searching until you find a church where you feel comfortable and then get involved.  Let me tell ya, there is nothing like being able to go to service, hold hands and listen to the Pastor teach you thing you didn't know, while your kids are in the nursery or children's church!  This little break from your children does you so much good, you will never know, plus your children will learn things that will bless you throughout the week!  And don't fret dad, most churches today have an 8:45 am service just for the Football lovers like you and me!   (Yeah, I love football too!  lol).

When we get rid of all of our sin, and live in total obedience to Christ?  The power of God will be evident in our hearts and then we will start to feel it surrounding us, protecting us, and then you will feel the Holy Spirit always there reminding us that we have sinned so we can say a quick, "Oops, Lord, I'm sorry."  Sin puts up a wall between us and God and it feels just AWFUL!  The only way to tear down the wall is to admit immediately that you have sinned and ask for forgiveness.  Trust me, it's the only way to live.  The joy that springs forth from full obedience to God?  It's an unspeakable joy that is just so hard to describe, that I won't even try.  But believe me, even though it can be hard to give up the sin?  It's even easier after we do!  God blesses us for giving it up - and giving our all to Him.  Our job situations improve, as do our relationships and we are just happier people!  Don't you want to be happier?  Just remember, "Can't never did anything."  Just remember to watch your attitude, cause you can bum God out just by having a bad one!

So, "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." (Romans 12:2).

God bless you all today.  Get up and go to church, have a marvelous time worshiping the Lord and listen, learn and apply what you've learned to your life!  God will reward us just for giving Him our time and trying to become more like His son, Jesus!

The Struggle

The last few days I have been a bit remiss in posting, so I apologize to anyone who comes here for solace day to day hoping to find a word of comfort that results in hope and peace as that is my commitment to God and to you, to try to shine the light into a dark and lonely world.

Sometimes though?  You're own darkened world can have an affect on what God needs you to do for Him, and the last few days have been quite the struggle for me.

The loneliness, the doubt, the shadows of the past, yeah,the devil's been doin a number on me, but I will get through it.  With the Grace of God and with the strength that abides in me through Christ, who gives me strength to face that darkness everyday, (Phil 4:13), I know that the courage and the boldness of heart within me, to share my own struggles in this life with complete strangers like you will always be there, even if at times I need a moment to take an account of what is happening, and deal with it properly.

When I struggle with my own heart, and the loneliness I am feeling, it makes it harder to speak comfort to anyone, much less hear the comforting words of God through His word myself. He is always with me, holding me up and holding my hand, but even that isn't always enough, although it should be.  I am so lonesome I could literally break down and cry so instead of tossing it on all of you, I tend to get quiet, pray through it and then get back to my assigned task to bring a little hope, joy and peace to others through the Word of God, and it's strength which pulls us all through the tough times.

I just needed to read God's word and press the "reset" button.  You see, I've been messed up for so long, some days I don't know which way is up anymore.  There is one person in particular who is hurting me a lot, and while I would like to walk away, I keep saying "Well it's better here than it would be any place else, so you're kinda stuck aren't you?" 

Ohhhh it's so easy to rationalize things when it's all you've ever known, even when that particular person has been hurting you for years.  We just keep taking it and taking it, and then we wind up locked right into where they want us to be. Afraid to walk away.  Afraid that nobody else will ever want us.   Afraid we won't have enough to live on, and with virtually no family to help, which is true in my case, you just wind up feeling kinda stuck.  Right now, I'm locked in a gilded cage and there is, at this present moment, no way, that I can see at this point in time anyway, a way out for me.

So please pray for me, and my heart, that I am not led astray by the devil's deceitful thoughts or the deeds or actions of others and the lies that keep me bound in this cage.  I know God has a way out for me, and in my obedience to Him, I await that pathway with patience and grace, still singing like a song bird, but some days are just a little harder than others, and I know some of you can identify with the struggle I speak of.

Please just keep aware, keep safe, and keep looking up.  Don't take your eyes off the prize of Jesus, and just like me, you'll make it.  We'll all be okay, we just have to give God a chance to work and allow ourselves to "be still, and know that He is God."  (Psalm 46:10).

Romancing The Bride

Wake up church!  He is romancing the bride!!!!!!!!!  I'm sorry, but it was a Word of Knowledge that I felt was worthy of being shared.  I have confirmation in this song.  I am not the only one hearing the message it seems?

"My sheep listen to my voice!  They know me and they follow me!"  John 10:27.

Rejoice!  Bend on one knee and take stock of your life!  Get in right standing with our creator, our Savior, and our friend.  Don't wait!  Don't miss the coolest (milisecond long) trip you will ever take!  PLEASE!  

Even as these words are read, I am still praying, "Come Lord Jesus!  Hallelujah in the Highest Host!"  Come Lord!  We are waiting, willing and wanting for you!  I ache for you God!  I am desperate for you!  

Great is our God!  If you do not know the Lord, please say this prayer.  "Heavenly father, I have made a mess out of my life.  I have heard your word, but turned away from you and I am sorry.  I want you to save me Jesus.  Please come into my heart and help me live for only you.  Amen!  

Did you say that prayer?  Please send an email and please share!  It won't be posted here, but I would love to hear from you if anything on this blog is a blessing to you!

God be with you all!  Look up!  For Christ's return is imminent!  It is SO CLOSE I can feel it!  Praise God!

His Name is Stronger Than You Know!

Are you living with a brokenness that doesn't seem like it will ever go away?  Just a long term, seemingly endless period of your life where one day everything is fine, and the next, everything is, at least in your own eyes, falling apart and you just can't seem to put your finger on the "why?" of it all?  

I have gone through these periods of off and on oppression since my mom thew my dad out of the house just two weeks before Christmas and filed for divorce.  I was just 8 yrs old.  Even before that I suffered via kids at school.  "What is wrong with you," "you're so dumb, it's a wonder that Walt Disney didn't pick you to play the part of Dopey in the 7 dwarfs," and on and on it went, getting worse, the older I got. 

I have suffered from this malady myself and it may go on for a few days, and other times, a month or so.  Both sexes are susceptible, but it may not be medically related.  At times it seems you are fine, and then, suddenly, that weird, strange feeling of insecurity and confusion strikes, again lasting a day or two which can be cause for concern, but you may want to try consulting your Bible first before going to your doctor for answers.  I have found that confessing my unconfessed sins to God and asking for forgiveness helps immensely in wiping out the tricks of the devil who constantly plays with my emotions and causes me to say or do stupid stuff!

What we have to understand is that "our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."  (Ephesians 6:12). 

It could be that everything else in your life is fine - health, marriage/family, finances, work, church, etc.,  but you also could be carrying this constant feeling of heaviness that you  just can't seem to shake off, as if impending disaster is near.

You've tried prayer, reading self help books hoping to find the answer to your problem, and nothing has worked.  Now the idea of ever being happy again seems to be completely elusive.  And while this seems to be the darkest time you've ever been through, you begin to wonder, "Where are you God?  Why aren't you helping me?"  Well, I can guarantee you, even if you don't feel He is there, He is carrying you through these dark troubled times.

You're problem most likely has nothing to do  WITH YOU, so get off the devil's roller coaster!  See the attack for what it is, up close and personal and remove yourself from the problem!  The devil who is whispering lies to you, and making you believe them!

The devil will use any opening, no matter how big, or how small in your life to gain a foothold and try to destroy you!  Don't let him!  Recognize the attack for what it is!  Speak the truth's of God's word into the air!  Do it everyday!  The devil cannot read your mind, so you MUST say the words!  I would suggest the book "The Secret Power of Speaking God's Word," by Joyce Meyer and "Battlefield of the Mind," by Joyce Meyer  

First ask the Lord's forgiveness for any unconfessed sin you may have in your life, and then rebuke the devil out loud just like Jesus did in the book of Luke!  (See Luke 4:1-13).  Speak God's word, using the name of Jesus, and tell the devil all about what the word of God says, using the name of Jesus Christ, and I guarantee he will leave you alone!  He left me alone, and I had this problem for going on 50 years!  "If the Lord be for us, who can be against us!"  (Romans 8:31).  Don't be "ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God unto salvation!"  (Romans 1:16).

It may take time, patience and a lot of self control, but hey, if I can do it, anybody can, and I was a lost cause!

When Trouble Finds You, Kneel at The Cross!

Good Morning All!

Time 4 a Worship Moment! 

Come and Kneel at the Cross!

God's Mercies are New Every Morning!

Not one thing can separate us from the Love of God!

So Come and Kneel at the Cross!

Be Pardoned by the Blood of Christ!

In the Act of Kneeling to the King with all Humility, God's Mercy and Grace will be poured out!
So come.  Kneel at the Cross!
For My Jesus will Meet You There!

How Precious is the Name of Jesus!

Feeling redeemed much?  I tend to go back and forth, but only because I am a sinner.  Yep.  That's right, and I admit what a complete mess I have been throughout my life over and over on this blog, hoping it will strike a nerve in someone who is just like me.  I always talk about how "all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God," (Romans 3:23), including myself, but it's weird, I still struggle with it, even when I am in right standing and full agreement with God and without Him?  I am nothing. 

This used to be a feeling I associated with my parents because I felt like there wasn't anything I could do to please them.  I was always mentally running away from their judgments even when I really hadn't done anything wrong.  It was like running against a headwind that to this day has never ceased, (as the devil laughs at me no doubt).  I hoped for years for just one kind word, such as "I'm very proud of you," which to this day, has never come.  Now that my mother is gone, my dad tells me he loves me, but I still never hear anything that says "I approve."

You know, sometimes you have to let what your family thinks, including those around you at church, as they are considered "family," as well, slip into the ether and remember what Jesus thinks about you.  He loves you, and no matter what you do, there is no sin that cannot be forgiven because He loves us unconditionally.  That means that no matter what we do, or say, He will always forgive, teach, and mentor us through His word, helping us to walk in the way everlasting.  Even if we are alone, and feel like we will never "fit," this is true.

So what about you?  Do you feel like nothing you do is good enough?  Maybe you're like me and you feel like you are different, so different, that you are that one extra piece to the jigsaw puzzle that just doesn't seem to "fit" anywhere?  That no matter how hard you try, you just can't seem to find that place where you truly belong?

I've had such a hard time with this same feeling, that I go back and forth, rejecting myself because at times, I still feel un-redeemable, un-loveable, and un-acceptable.  I just had a day recently where I struggled with that feeling and and I'll be 50 in September!  I have to tell you, I am so grateful to be a Christian, that while I have good days and bad with the fibromyalgia pain,and with that feeling like I don't "fit,"  or "belong," that I know it's just the devil trying to put my eyes in the rear view, yelling at me, "Nobody will ever accept you!"  But when I am alone, talking to the Lord, I know I FIT!  I was a missing piece of HIS puzzle and He was looking for me! 

"Jesus is the way the truth and the life, and nobody comes to the Father but by Him."  (John 14:16).  This means that the only thing we can do to get to heaven is accept God's precious gift.  His only son was put to death on a cross made of wood, which he willingly suffered for all of us. When we accept that precious gift, then we will find where we belong, and as believers, we are instantly members of the family of God which will help us find out where we belong and then, we will find what ministry we have been called to! 

I have to admit, as someone who was fallen away for over 10 years, I've struggled with what church to go to, but I found my new home and am very happy there, so don't sweat it if it takes you awhile to figure things out.  Just remember this: Jesus is in the process of waking His sleeping church in order that we might hear the trumpet when He does call us all home!

Did you know, the last act of Jesus Christ was to Bless those who were watching Him ascend into Heaven?  (Luke 24:51).  That Blessing passed from believer to believer, generation to generation and that means we as believers were all Blessed by Jesus Himself!  To have the Blessing of God is an amazing thing and He wants us to receive that Blessing into every aspect of our lives so that we might live the life Jesus wants us to live, and we should focus ourselves to live for Christ and live the life He would've have lived if He hadn't died for us in our place!

No matter what the situation we are in, we all need to remember to see the bigger picture a little more often so that we don't offend anyone.   Even if you are not sure of what ministry the Lord is calling you to, begin speaking the things that are not as if they are, and they will manifest themselves through the spirit, if you're motives are right and  you are asking for the right things, the spirit is a "can do" guy who will bless the desires of your heart! (Romans 4:17-18).

Thank you Father God for the precious gift you gave us when you gave your one and only son, to die for our sins so that we might live.  Thank you that you allowed His Name to be known as the only name on earth by which men may be saved!  (Acts 4:12).  Thank you Jesus, for accepting me "just as I am."  Thank you for comforting me this night, and may your peace reach out through this blog to others who are hurting as well tonight.  Show them your presence in a mighty way, something they cannot ignore, and give them peace.

My toll free line is open 24/7.  1-888-359-5439, so If you need a friend to listen, or you need help understanding just what it is Jesus has done for us?  Call me.  I'll listen.  I'll try to help in any way I can and I will commit to pray for you so that the Lord can begin the same kind of miracle in your life that He has affected in mine!  His name is great, His name is wonderful...His name is Life Everlasting, if you will just believe!

We Gotta Start Somewhere

I just heard of the tragedy in Aurora, Colorado that occurred last night 20 minutes into the Midnight showing of "The Dark Knight Rises," the new Batman movie.

I am in prayer for the 12 families that have lost a loved one, especially for the 3 month old injured in the shooting when a masked man in body armor, armed with an AR 15 assault rifle, a Remington 870 12 caliber shot gun, as well as a 40 caliber Glock hand gun, walked through the exit doors, threw gas canisters into the crowded theater which was full of families and children, and then opened fire into the crowd, killing 12 and injuring between 59 and 71 other people, including children and members of our own military. (Numbers of the injured are sketchy at this point).

This young man, James Holmes, age 24, had no record.  Just a traffic violation.  Thankfully he was arrested in the parking lot behind the theater before he could escape or detonate any of the bombs left behind in his apartment building, complete with trap wires.  They evacuated 5 buildings before going near the building where he lived, and have apparently diffused several devices.  They also decided to check his places of employment, doing an explosives sweep with dogs, etc. to ensure their safety.   As of yet, he has not stated the "why" as to what he has done and it is just unfathomable, so I doubt that any explanation except maybe he went off his meds, would make any sense to anyone at this point.  When they went into the apartment one official said it was like nothing he'd ever seen, so this young man knew exactly what he was doing and was prepared to kill as many people as he could.

The charges filed against him will range from 1st degree murder, brandishing a weapon in public, illegal discharge of a firearm with intent to kill as well as attempted murder of those in the theater as well as in his apartment building possibly over 1,000 counts there, depending on how many could have been killed or injured if the bombs he left in his apartment had gone off, explosives charges, oh the list will be so long. This guy will be charged with Capital Murder, and will receive justice for what he has done, most likely a needle in the arm.

We should all begin praying for our communities to be safe from all these horrible actions by unstable people.  Perhaps there is nobody to blame and this is just an isolated, random incident, but now do you understand why it is so important to reach out to those who are not saved?  Will it begin with you?  You're neighbor's?  You're friends?  You're family?  For those of you who are highly affected by this tragedy, God is calling your name and He wants you to share His!

As for me, I am going to spend the day in prayer, for that 3 month old child, and the others who were injured as well as the families who've lost a son/daughter, husband/wife, mother/father, sister/brother, or friend.

"May the Lord bless you and keep you.  May the Lord make His face to shine upon you and be gracious unto you.  May He lift up His countenance upon you and give you peace."  (Numbers 6:24-26). 

Please pray for the gunman's family as well, even if you don't think they deserve it?  They've lost somebody today as well and I'm sure if they had an inkling he was ill, which he obviously is, they would have done something about it and gotten him the help he needed, but now it's too late and I will pray for their son who was clearly not in his right mind when he committed this horrific act, which he will no doubt pay for with his own life.  

When will we get the message?  God is telling us to "GO" and yet we sit.  There is a city on it's knees today in prayer.  Let us join them in solidarity today.  God be with you Aurora Colorado, you have our deepest sympathies.

The Choice

I was verbally cursed by my parents when I was very little, which caused the devil to be able to take control little by little in my life, even as a small child and as a result, I've never had any self - confidence, which made it very hard to make or retain friendships, even to this very day!  The kids were so cruel that I was made fun of from 1st grade thru my Senior Year of high school.  I could never stop talking, which annoyed other kids, and they didn't want to be around me.  I was also always in trouble with my teachers for the same reason, and was taking notes home every other day, getting spanked, yelled at, etc.

My parents divorced when I was 8, and since, I haven't been right. Since 2002, when I filed for legal separation, I have been watching my own marriage dissolving right before my eyes, and I am just barely holding on some days, hoping for the Lord to heal my family but I fear that even if I can save the relationship with my children, my husband is already long gone and has been for a very long time.  The pain my husband is feeling is coming from unforgiveness but we only hold ourselves hostage when we refuse to forgive others.  He is still angry at me and my raging self, the child who was never loved, who felt rejection from early on, who for years lashed out, caused havoc in his finances, etc., etc., before beginning to search for healing from God, which finally came just yesterday, praise the Lord!  God finally tore down the last wall that was separating me from His will for my life, and the fulfillment of His promises for my life as well.

He came in tonight with attacks on my character, which were meant to ensnare me with anger, and an argument.  Instead, I prayed for him, asking God to bless him, rather than falling into the trap.  That would have hurt me worse than it would him, considering that I am just beginning to find the secret of how to stay Holy, not letting strife into my life, so I followed my steps of "What would Jesus say?" without even thinking about it.  I just said "Please don't?  I really just don't want to argue with you?"  After that, he said one more hurtful thing and then left me alone.  It was if he was trying to start a fight with the comments he was making to me about my "past self," and a member of my immediate family and how he doesn't care about her, and while it made me extremely sad, I did not allow myself to become angry, which usually?  It would have been a knock down drag out fight!

God wouldn't let me respond in any other way but to "love my enemies and pray for those who persecute you."  (Matthew 5:44).  For the 1st time in almost 27 yrs, I was successful in not taking the bait!  I turned away from the trap I have been falling into for years and I had victory over the devil's plot to make me fall back into sin.

I pray almost every day for a solution to this current hell I live in.  I need support, not just financial obligation, but true emotional support rather than constant judgment about who I used to be with no credit for who God is helping me to become.   I need someone who is going to see the change and give me a 2nd chance, not someone who will hold this over my head forever if we stay together.  I wish I could leave, that would solve a lot of things, but financially I am unable to so he holds all of the cards and at times, I feel completely trapped, which I suppose is payback.  I was pregnant when we got married, and he has always felt like I trapped him into a marriage he did not want.

He is in sin with another woman, and even brings her into the home my children grew up in while I am here, but I am bound by this beaten down, wretched flesh which is full of medical issues and at the current moment I am unable to change my situation.  I am forced instead to just learn to live with it and pray for us all.  I have no place to run except to the feet of Jesus, where I lay all of my anxiety and concern and He is the one caring for me now.

I have desired to be accepted all my life.  I just always wanted to "fit in," but never have. I am like that one extra puzzle piece that came with the Jigsaw Puzzle, but there seems to be no place for my puzzle piece in the puzzle, so I get ignored.  Therefore, as always, I am looking for a place to belong.

I just needed to share that tonight.  His attacks, be they cruel and unjust, were shut down tonight by the Holy Spirit who is now in full control of my life, my emotions and my actions.  No more just "half way" living for Christ now.  I am in full obedience to God's will for my life and He comes first and I won't allow the words of my ex to push me into a crumpled heap onto the floor ever again, nor will I ever respond to his unjust cruel statements as fact, nor will I respond to them emotionally with anger, or hate, but rather, I will love my enemy, and pray that God blesses him! 

So hang in there guys and gals.  You may feel alone, but I guarantee you, you are not.  Jesus is carrying you through your valley like He has carried me and at the other end He will raise all of us up against our enemies and they will scatter in 7 directions, though they come from only one, like straw in the wind!  (Jeremiah 13:24).

Jesus raised me to a mountain top and showed me what it "could" be like, so I will focus on Him, His promises and let Him lead the way.  For I know, He will love me, care for my heart and lead me Home when the time comes.

I will cling to Jesus.   He is all I have, so I will hold on and never let go ever again.

I Once Was Lost....But Now I'm Found!

Are you leaning on the everlasting arms?  If not, rest for awhile in His arms, and you'll feel the grace poured out for you on the Cross.  

He came to save us so that we might have life and more abundantly!  Even if you are in a valley, lift up thine eyes to the hills from whence cometh your help!  (Psalm 121:1).

Rest in His arms awhile, and let Him love you!

Self Control Vs. The Rant

How long has it been since you got angry in traffic?  Maybe you ranted all the way home at that smaller, slower car in front of you in traffic, that leaves a huge space between themselves and the car in front of them, and traffic is heavy, you're in a hurry, and you're yelling basically at nobody, "Come on!  GO!"

God told me this morning that I am running out of time.  I am running out of time to save souls.  The day is drawing nearer my God to thee folks!  And the time of reckoning between my self control and my rant has finally come.

The ranting is over.  The sin is over.  The pain is over.  The past is in the past, dead and buried FOREVER with Christ Jesus who went to the depths of hell to set the captives free and rose triumphantly from the dead, forever raised to sit at the right hand of the Father, and His return is drawing near! There is no more mourning, just happiness and a fervor for ministry to others who are just like I was, ranting at traffic, or to anyone who will listen to you rant, as I used to.  I could never get my eyes off of myself, or out of the rear view, but praise God, today was the day God finally set this captive free!

No more, "well this and that, and so and so, and on and on and on and on."  My self control vs. my rant was constantly getting me into trouble, getting in my way and now I recognize the tool of the devil to stop the train of victories in my life, usually with that big hole near the bottom of my face!  I have finally found an answer to help me, and if any of you have the same problem, don't despair like I did.  Just imagine Jesus in control, behind the wheel, and just let go and let God.  The only one you are not helping by ranting, or saying things that you don't mean or rambling on and on about stuff that is basically meaningless is yourself.  God wants to use you, not lose you!

I have just had a major breakthrough that my recovery has already occurred.  I have been recovered, reclaimed, restored, re-confirmed, re-established, re-cleansed, rejuvenated, refreshed, rebuilt and every "RE" that is in the book!  When God salvages you from the bottom of the ocean, you just kinda know it?  No other recovery is really necessary.

My self control problem was that hole in the center of my face, and God gave me the answer to stop the trigger of my emotions speaking out first, and a vision of Christ next to me with His finger over my mouth and asking me, "What do you think I might say?"  Letting the spirit speak through us is how we reach others!  We live the life He would have lived!   Proverbs 3:5-6 says "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct thy paths!"  OH MY GOODNESS THE LORDS GRACE IS BEING POURED OUT!  DO YOU NOT FEEL IT????

The Lord hasn't stopped conversing with me since the study I attended last night.  We were studying  Nehemiah, who went to the King with a down cast face, which as a cupbearer was punishable by death in those days.  A cupbearer was responsible for tastimg the food and wine before the King and Queen to assure it's safety, i.e., that they wouldn't be poisoned, and a few other things were involved, but Nehemiah had a down cast face and after several years of service, a friendship had been established.  When the King inquired of the sadness he saw in Nehemiah he told the King that he wanted to go to the burial place of his fathers, and rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.  (Nehemiah 2:5)  The King let him go!  He was with the Queen and they asked Nehemiah for a time frame, and the King also provided all the necessary lumber, and materials that he would need to accomplish the job which was completed in just 52 days!  (Nehemiah 6:15).

Curiously, in Nehemiah 6:3, he is asked to come down from his work on the wall.  He sent messengers to those who had asked him to retreat from his work saying, "I am doing a great work and I cannot come down. Why should the work stop while I leave it and come down to you?"  This verse tells me that I am running out of time to do the job that God sent me to do, which is to tell you that God loves us all very much, so much that He sent His only Son, Jesus, to die on Calvary's Cross to save us from our sins so that we should not perish but have everlasting life!  (John 3:16).  The work is started, He is rebuilding me in a quick way, building on my past studies, and telling me new information all the time.

What  is really eerie?  After the wall was completed in just 52 days, Israel's enemies were stunned!  "When all our enemies heard of it, and all the nations surrounding us saw it, they lost their confidence, for they recognized that this work had been accomplished with the help of our God."  (Nehemiah 6:16).

That is an interesting verse, because immediately after the rapture, the Holy Spirit will be removed from the earth with the Bride of Christ, the Church, and immediately, God will cause a great delusion to come upon the earth, but some who have been enemies to us, who knew we were Christians, (think of the Christians being slaughtered in the Middle East and Africa?) what will they think when all the Christians disappear?  They will be afraid, they will lose their self confidence and they will know that our God has saved us and that Jesus is very real!  Oooohhhhh just gives ya goosebumps doesn't it???

So look up - We are going home very soon!  God is whispering things in my ear, and I no longer have time to mess around with studies that will remove me from my appointed rounds.  I cannot leave the wallbuilding until the wall is up and all those that can be saved are saved!  I am meant to do ministry, not recovery, for God has already recovered me!

It just hit me this morning, but I am moving on in my passion for Christ and His message to the church!  "He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God."  (Revelation 2:7)

Jesus is our King.  He has already equipped us with the necessary tools, and gifts of the spirit to complete our task and we are all running out of time to complete the tasks He has given us for Jesus is near, even at the door!  Please, church, get on your feet!  Don't give in, don't give up, and keep looking up, for our redemption draweth nigh!

God Bless you all today as you go about your daily tasks and don't lose your self control because of traffic, or something someone said that hurt your feelings, or made you feel bad.  Just let it flow off of your back like water off of a duck! Go and serve your King!  And "May the King Live Forever!"  (Nehemiah 2:3).  We will Reign with Jesus forever - get ready church, cause he's getting ready to call us HOME!  (Revelation 4:1).  Jesus has delivered me from my rant, and now my King is in full control!

I am no longer caught up in myself!

Obedience to God & The Blessings That Follow

Sometimes, when we are so lost in our jaded hearts, filled with confusion, desperation, etc., we do things we never thought we would do.  This happened to me a few years ago.

I have now removed all of the walls between me and the Lord by coming into full obedience removing all of those sins and asking His forgiveness.  Now He is "transforming me, by the renewing of my mind," and the endless comfort I can feel coming from Heaven itself is amazing to me.

Do you have something in your life that is doggin you?  Some sin you can't seem to stop?  Do what I did.  Dump it, no matter what it is, because God has something better for you!  I promise He does!  His timing is always perfect, so be patient, for the provision has already been made for you I promise!  God's words, His promises, are solid, never ending, and they are from everlasting to everlasting!

So pick yourself up off the floor and get that one thing out of your life that is putting the wall up between you and God.  Start then to pray that God will bless you with what He wants for you!  Whether that is healing, or surviving, etc., stop the sin.  Get it out of your life, once and for all so that He can begin to work a miracle, giving you hope and strengthening you with his own hand.  

"He will lead you to the promise land, He'll lead you home!"  Michael W.Smith.

Don't give up!  God's got plans!  The valley your in, the mountain your climbing, don't let it blind you to what God's promises are!  You are a child of the king!  He loves us all, and wants the best for us!

Be obedient, and what seems too big, too overwhelming, will disappear.  God wants to love you.  Please let Him?  What you're searching for is right in front of you!  Reach out to God!  Get back to your scripture's, ask God to forgive you, stop feeling sorry for yourself, help someone else who's in trouble!  Get your eyes off of yourself, and put them on Jesus, or you will sink like a stone just like Peter did!

Be still and know that He is God!

Avoiding Strife

"The beginning of strife is like releasing water; Therefore stop contention before a quarrel starts."  (Proverbs 17:14)

Have you ever had anyone complain at you and annoy you to the point that you wanted to answer with an angry response?  Well if you do, be prepared, because that's the beginning of sometimes a very pointless argument that just harms whoever you are arguing with as well as yourself!

Suggestion?  Say something funny to diffuse the situation, or just don't say anything, keep it zipped!  If it's your spouse, you may want to just take them in your arms and say something like, "I'm sorry your upset, what did I do?  If I did something to upset you, I apologize."  Even if you did nothing wrong, it will open the discussion that is a mature conversation and therefore saves you from making the situation worse!

It might be that your husband/wife had a rough day and doesn't mean to take it out on you, but you must avoid strife at all costs, because it is sinful!  The bible says "Be angry, and sin not." (Ephesians 4:26).  Let us love one another as Christ first loved us!  He's already taken every sin, past, present, and future onto himself for us.  He felt every drunk alcoholic, every panic attack, every tear, every bit of anger, out of an entire world of people who had lived, who were living and who would live in the future!  He took all of our sin upon himself.  When I think of how that must have felt, I get a panic attack myself and wind up in tears!

We need to learn, especially us married couples, how to respond to strife when it comes towards us.  Recognize the emotion as a trick of the devil to cause you to fight with your spouse!   This is a sin, and you must avoid it at all costs, because it can cause permanent damage to a relationship if you don't recognize it for what it truly is. An attack from the very depths of hell.  Satan wants to destroy your marriage, your friendship, your job situation, on and on....just see it for what it truly is and do not let it happen!

Let us love, be happy, and not let strife enter any area of our lives because it puts up walls between us and the Lord. 

Answer your wife's griping with a hug to try to make her feel loved and appreciated.  Tell her the house looks nice, and that she is beautiful, even if she has flour in her hair from fixing dinner!  Don't gripe back if you had a bad day too!  You can fix both of your bad days with your response, or you can make it worse with your response!  But if you do get angry, don't go to bed until you've apologized!

You ladies, do the same.  If your husband comes home in a rotten mood and starts to growl at everyone, walk over to him give him a hug and tell him how much you love him and appreciate what he has to put up with at work every day to provide for your family and ask if there's anything you can do to make it better.  Rub his back and shoulders, give him a kiss, hold him in your arms, show your love and appreciation and I mean, I don't care how bad your day was?  If you respond to an angry word with love, it changes everything for "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."  (Proverbs 15:1).

You choose?  It's up to you!   Just remember?  The person with the strife is crying out for love.  Answer strife with love.  It changes everything!

God Bless America's Son

In 1750 George Washington took a thousand mile journey along with a guide, to deliver a message to the French and Indian at the fork of the three rivers, now known as current day Pittsburgh, but known at the time as "Ft. Duquesne," to vacate the Fort.   He nearly drowned in a river getting there to deliver the message!

When General Braddock, an arrogant British General came along two years later with his men to fight them, Dinwiddie sent Washington along as a "guide," because he had made the journey and knew the way.  He was not a member of the militia at that time because there had been an uproar in England and the British Regulars were angry that the Militia Members in the US Colonies were making rank faster, with more pay etc., and when they tried to demote Washington, he was so insulted that he quit!

On the way to Ft. Duquesne, he fell ill and the surgeon traveling with Braddock and his men made Washington stay behind 3 days.  When he was finally able to travel and reached the site of the battle, not only was Braddock mortally wounded, 977 British Regulars were dead along with 63 British Officers.  

He got out of the covered wagon he had been riding in and got on a horse, two pillows under him, and when the Indian chief they were fighting saw him, hiding in the woods of the fort and the trees, he told his men, "this man doesn't fight like the others.  He fights like an Indian, aim your arms at him and let your aim be true."  They shot two horses out from under him before it was over, but he saved many when he rode into the battle to cry "retreat!"

He had bullet holes in his hat, shirt and pant legs that were torn, and it was a miracle he survived the onslaught of all of the weapons aimed at Him.  I believe He had some help from above. 

A few years later in 1755, after the British had successfully ended the French Indian war, Washington, being a land surveyor, was sent to survey the land (he laid out the city of Alexandria, VA, bet you didn't know that.  I didn't!),  to divide it among the American Militia Men who fought the battle so they could have homesteads.  

The Indian Chief who had called for his men to aim at Washington heard somehow that he was headed his direction, and though he was old and close to death, he made his men carry him into Washington's path where he bestowed a prophecy upon him.  "This man shall not die in battle, for a greater power protects him."  Then, the most amazing thing he said...gives me goosebumps....the Indian Chief proclaimed that "one day, he will be known as the leader of a great Empire."

George Washington made a covenant with God to protect him and his men as they ran for their lives in one of the first devastating battles of the Revolution.  The fight for New York City.  They had lost many men, and they were trying to escape, but the British fleet was already in motion trying to surround them and force the American Colonists to surrender.  However, that wasn't what God planned, and many men were still trying to escape in the night, but they were facing head wind.  Suddenly, the winds shifted in their favor and they were able to move more quickly towards safety.  But as day was about to break, there were still many men who needed to escape and another miracle was needed.  Just in time, a providential pea soup fog came into the harbor out of nowhere, protecting the Continental Army as they made their escape.  They floated right next to the British Flotilla, but the fog was so thick, you could barely see your hand in front of your face.  Washington was the last to leave shore and get in a boat and flat away right under their noses!  If not for the tail winds and the fog, the Revolutionary War would have ended before it had begun!

If you haven't read "The Covenant," by Timothy Ballard or "The Real George Washington," by Jay Parry, I suggest you find a copy of both and read up.  This country has a Covenant with God, and we have broken it.  It is time to get back to God, get on our knees and pray for this country before those who want again, to do us harm, are allowed to tear us and this Country apart.

We all have a little of Washington in us.  It is for us that he fought, it is for us that he served.  We owe him and the Founding Father's a debt we cannot repay unless we mobilize against the evil that is about to come upon us.

The Club of Rome has a map of 10 different sections that will be the "New World Order," and it is time to prepare our minds, our hearts, our bodies and gird ourselves with the Word of God and above all, our faith, the kind of faith Washington had, or this country will fall.

Pray with diligence that these despots are not allowed to take our country away from US!  WE THE PEOPLE!  Above all, ask God for Grace.  We are going to need it! 

God Bless the United States and her first son, 

George Washington!

Texting for Jesus!

Okay, so how many times a day do you text? 5? (Whoa, you need an unlimited plan! lol), 10, 20, 30, endless?  Well what if we used all these gadgets and gizmos we have with all this new technology to reach others for Christ? (Just whatever you do, don't text while driving or walking down a busy street. You might get hurt?).

Like you teenagers?  When your at the end of your "textathon" maybe you could invite your friend to Wed. night youth group? Then in that final text say, "God bless, CYA tomorrow! (add a smiley face!)

And you workers out there, I don't care what business you are in, you carry a cell phone!  Be uplifting and encouraging.  Maybe your texting a co-worker who is going through a divorce they really don't want.  Tell them you'll pray that he/she changes their mind and stops the proceedings.  Then commit in your own heart to pray for both of them!  Sign off all your texts with, "Take care, God Bless.  See ya tomorrow.

And what about you housewives out running errands texting your 16 yr old at home to make sure everything is okay, and to make sure that you don't need to make a stop at the store on the way home??  End your text with "You're such a great kid.  I thank God for you in my prayers every morning and every night.  Thank you for being so responsible and for helping out at home.  Love u!"

What we say to others, whether in person, on the phone, or through a text message, has meaning!  It just dawned on me that we have all these wonderful gadgets and gizmos, but how often do we use them to bless one another or those who don't know Jesus?  Shame on us! If you feel weird about it, just ask God to give you the right words and He will!  Remember, you can do all things through Christ who gives you strength, so don't shrink from the opportunity, grasp it with zeal!

If we are going to make it thru what is to come, we need to be on our knees and telling everyone we know!  If I had just reached out to my neighbor, a nice guy whose tree fell thru our fence one windy night and did most of the clean up together with his wife?  If I had just reached out to them...maybe he wouldn't have hung himself in his garage!

Belief in action can happen in texting too!  Show others, especially those you really care about, the love of Christ by texting what He might have texted!  Again, even thru these gadgets and gizmos that God gave man the intelligence to create means that God has a far reaching hand in our lives even when we aren't paying attention!

So text or phone a friend to check up on them, and love and accept people just the way they are!  Love others and help those who need it!  It isn't hard, you just have to TRY!  Upside?  God will bless your efforts even if they are not fruitful!

So will you run away from my challenge or will you text for Christ?

Are You Ready 4 Jesus?

Jesus is coming soon, so I have just one question to ask:  "WILL YOU BE READY?"

I truly believe that Jesus is going to return very soon to carry away His bride, the church, into the skies of heaven, oh what a spectacular sight that will be...... well.... unless you're still on THE GROUND!!!!  Believe me, you don't want to watch from the ground because then you'll miss the fastest elevator ride ever only without the elevator!

Think of it this way:  You're at an amusement park and I'm the fat lady in front of you trying to fit onto the coaster, which just takes forever!   Now think of that as taking forever? Like from 33AD (The year Jesus was put to death and resurrected), to 2012!  (R U getting the picture yet?)  Suddenly once I'm finally secured (but uncomfortable) in my seat, without hearing one clickity clack of that coaster, we'll all be in heaven, and I'll look a whole lot different than the lady who spent all that time just to fit into that coaster seat!  For one thing, I would have slipped out of that seat belt mid flight because I will look very different once the ride is over!  I'll look very different!  I'm young again, skinny and beautiful with not ONE grey hair! Double takes going on all around me, people discovering that while on that fast ride up, God perfected us all, giving us new bodies that will never get sick, feel pain or DIE!!  "We shall be changed from corruptible (meaning mortal and susceptible to death), to incorruptible meaning we will never EVER die! (1 Corinthians 15:53 - KJV)

I think those that read this blog know full well what is coming, and you should all find a local bible believing church where you can go and dedicate or re-dedicate yourselves to Jesus so we can all go Home to Heaven!  Those who believe in His miracles, His death on the cross, and His resurrection from the dead, all done for OUR transgressions are going to be there!  What about you?  He did it not just for me, or that guy down the street, He did it for you too! He did it for all of us!


So remember to tell your husband/wife as well as your kids how much you love and appreciate them?  Always say I love you, especially to your children just after disciplining them, making sure they know you love them, but that you don't like the way they acted.  Jesus doesn't like their actions either, " Whoever spares the rod hates (spoils - KJV) their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them." Then tell your children, that Jesus loves them and that he delights in their proper behavior and always let them know that they are special cause God says so!  (Matthew 19:14). 

We are very near the day when Jesus, with NO WARNING will say "come up hither," (Revelation 1:4) and all the Christians on the planet will be gone in an instant to meet our Lord in the clouds!  (Believe me I can't wait!  I pray for it every day!).

So get out your bibles and let's start reading them again!   And if you don't have one?  Email Me A Request and I'll send you one of my old ones!    DO YOU NEED PRAYER?  PLEASE EMAIL ME YOUR PRAYER REQUESTS & SIGN IT ANONYMOUSLY! GOD KNOWS WHO YOU ARE, BUT I DON'T NEED TO!  I just need to know what you are going through so I can pray for you in a way that will help you!

Please begin to learn the joy you can have through a relationship with Jesus Christ!  He bore your sins and mine, on himself, so that you might have life and have it to the full!  (John 10:10)  Please don't live ONLY HALF WAY, because you only live once!  John 3:16 says "he who believes in me will not perish, but have everlasting life."  All you must do is Trust the name of Jesus!