Anger, Forgivness and Moving On

Have you ever had one of those days?   You know where someone hurts you so bad, you feel like a little piece of you just died inside? 

Unlike smoking or other vices, some things are much easier to eradicate than others and boy did I ever pick the wrong week to stop getting angry about an issue that is extremely painful, hurtful and just down right wrong!  What's worse is how I feel about myself for losing my temper and "reacting," to the situation I came home to tonight, rather than being quiet in Christ's forgiving spirit and just disappearing to my room to cry like usual.  This night was different.  I had just gotten home from Bible Study where I haven't been in almost 11 years and that wiley ole devil just couldn't wait to put a bad "finishing touch" on my evening.

I'm sorry, but there are just some issues that are so far out of line with what God would want for my family, that sometimes I forget that I am to love, rather than to  judge.  When I forget this little tidbit that should be fixed 1st & foremost in my mind at all times, I wind up blowing up, which is playing right into the devils slimy hands! Worst of all is that when I do reach my limit and blow up, he sits in the balcony cheering as the demons shout and applaud from below in the cheap seats.

Jesus?  I'm sorry I lost it Lord.  I have no excuse, but you know why I did it and I know that you are just as saddened about this great pain in my heart and mind as I am, and the sin by my husband which is causing it.  But instead of getting angry, I was supposed to "not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord."   (Romans 12:19). 

Lord you You know how sensitive I am to this ongoing situation, so I will trust you to bring me to the other side of this horrible emptiness and pain that fills my heart and soul. 

Please help me to be forgiving, no matter how much it hurts Jesus.  Please help me live for you and no body else?   Bring me back into right standing with thee and direct all my paths?  Please take my sensitive heart and mold it in your hands?  Help me to not get angry at the person, but their sin, and to continue to pray for them instead of being angry and upset about something I obviously have no control over.  

You are in control of it all dear Heavenly Father.  How grateful I am that you are there no matter what!  I just ask....I need a miracle or I need a way out of this situation! 

Thank you Lord!  Amen!